The story of how my hair fell off my head

October 07, 2011

Once upon a time in a magical fairy land there lived a girl with a healthy head of thick, silky black hair. It was nice and straight and wonderfully attached to her scalp.
Then one terrible day the girl decided to get her head tattooed and thought she may as well take this opportunity to damage her hair since she would be shaving half of it off. She had it bleached and dyed auburn for the first time in 2009 and so it began...
Once the girl had shaved the left side of her head and gotten the tattoo, her creatively-suppresed hairdresser who spent day after day straightening already straight Asian hair or dying hair varying shades of brown took advantage of the girl's experimental spirit and started creating styles for her professional folio. No one knows if this red clown perm was intentional but this is how the girl's head looked after three sessions in three consecutive weeks.
It was fun for a while but then the girl started getting bored of people staring at her and missed chatting to her regular Vietnamese grocer who had stopped talking to her the moment she turned into a tattooed, shaved punk. She went back to black and grew out the shaved side of her head. The plan didn't work, her Viet grocer remained silent.
The girl quickly realised that while she had been a flaming red clown, she had filled her wardrobe with very tame black, greys and whites to avoid looking like a colourful circus freak. She didn't have the time to change the colour palette of her entire wardrobe so she changed her hair back to not black.
All was happy in hair land until the next time the girl went back to her hairdresser to go an even lighter shade. This is when her hair got together and mutinied against the girl who had tortured them with evil amounts of chemicals. There was no arguing with her hair, they didn't even wait to be cut off her head they simply up and left her while the hairdresser fingers through the girl's hair. The loyal hairs that stayed behind tried their best but all they could do was form this strange orange bob "cut".
When the girl finally decided to go back to black and stay that way, Mum Pham was so happy that she yelled out to Dad Pham while she was on the phone to tell him that their baby doll was back! Her poor mother had had bad anxiety every time the girl came up to visit. The anticipation she felt waiting for the girl to pop out of the car with yet another hairstyle was almost more than she could bear.
The girl had funny angles and shapes in her black hair for what seemed like the longest time while she waited for the shaved side of her head to catch up with her unshaved side. It has been 20 months since she last set foot in a hair salon and her beloved hairdresser has since sold her salon and gone on a well deserved holiday. It is a good thing the hairdresser has gone. The girl had intended to perm her long hair for Xmas 2011 and we all know how that story wouldn't have a happy ending.

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