Online Dating - Tinder vs Okcupid vs eHarmony

December 11, 2013


I woke up to this message one morning and thought, yup, I'm never going to meet anyone I want to keep on a dating site. As part of my New Years Resolution to try new things in 2013 that saw me go on a blind date for the first time, take on a big event on my own and start learning ballet; I've been online dating too. Well, dating. Period. I've never actively dated before. In the past, I've only been on accidental first dates because when guys ask me to 'hang out' my brain pictures Care Bears hugging in rainbow land and their cartoon voices squeaking, 'Be my friend!' Yup, I've had some pretty awkward first kisses.

I always thought dating was a waste of time and it is but it's a fun, interesting - and I won't lie, occasionally scary - but mostly amusing way to watch the world go round. Who am I going to hang out with in Brisbane when 95% of my friends live elsewhere? Complete strangers, that's who. At first I was in it to find people I relate to and was thoroughly disappointed but now I'm in it for the entertainment value and for the socially bored it's like a fun computer game where you might end up meeting your opponent in person.

I've tried three of the mainstream sites and apps. Here are my thoughts on each:

eHarmony is for people who are after serious relationships. And also scientists... though eHarmony may have profiled me as someone who only likes engineers and architects and only sent me those matches. But I only have my personal experience to go on so to me eHarmony is for long-term relationship seeking nerds. I wouldn't recommend it unless you're looking to meet someone and marry within a year. The few guys I met in person were waaaayyyy too serious for man-resistant (repellant?) me. The site is too pricey for what you don't get - you can't browse other members' profiles, you can only contact people who are matched to you based on personality test results calculated by eHarmony. I may be an INTJ type but I prefer my pals spontaneous and loud. eHarmony says it's science but I think dating chemistry is a whole different field. No dice.

OKcupid. I went on this because it's free and after eHarmony I decided paying to meet people I don't like isn't a great investment. Wow, I've been approached by some real crazies on here. The dude who invited me to Hawaii as his intro, the many men who want affairs for various reasons, the ones with very detailed sexual fantasies and the addicts who like to overshare - I've had my fair share of supporting mentally ill and addictive people already, thanks but I'll pass. I did meet a couple of nice guys on here and we're friends now but the majority I found to be either too intense, too creepy or too sincere. You'd think the last would be a good trait but, no, I don't like to read the life story of a stranger who says they'd like to get to know me better when really it reads like they want me to get to know them better. People sure are wordy on okcupid, which is why I tried out the shallowest one of them all.

Tinder. It's a phone app only that is linked to your Facebook so chances are you'll come across real people with real profiles and real lives outside of Tinder and Facebook. The best part is only people you 'like' the look of and who like you back can message you. This means I don't get essays from people I'm not interested in. It also means a lot of requests for sex from guys who think 'you're cute' = 'fuck me now' but those are fun to read when they're not too gross. Sorry, man, who imagines ways he'd enjoy my butthole. Block. I love Tinder. Because it's a phone app it's like texting - just short, quick banter. Some people go on Tinder for eye candy and to message strangers for a while but I actually meet up with the ones I think will be a bit of fun. So far I've met one harmless weirdo, one nice guy and one total fox. Tinder is by far my favourite.

The greatest part about virtual dating is the block feature. I feel rude knocking back guys who approach me in real life because that takes balls, but when they're playing on a phone or computer, it's all just a game.

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