- brisbane redlight district - yeah... i'm sorry to disappoint whoever landed on my blog through this search.
- vietnamese sissy - sorry I keep misleading peeps with my sister's nickname.
- potato chip tree - someone actually googled this?
- william pham dentist - oh yay! our beloved dentist is being google stalked! highly recommend!
- what is a pham sissy - I'm afraid to google this myself.
- . - I don't know how someone got to my site searching a full stop but OK. Period.
- amy pham nude - I haven't googled this to see what results come up, but I'm guessing Amy is a fabulous naked hottie so they would have been disappointed to find frumpy ol' me.
- accidentally drank betadine - oh bro, same.
- quitter - ...hey! I'm stubborn as hell. I should quit when I don't. How'd this lead to my blog?
- "jade bracelets that don't come off" - I'm not alone!
- "how to buy potato chips" - with money?
- "wearing his lego brick backpack" - is that you, wild style?
- "asos porno" - okay, I shopped a lot on asos once upon a time but that seems extreme
- "cow u" - moo me?
- "online dating cat lady" - nailed it
- "insult" - what did i do?
- "milk drunk onesie"- i actually have no idea why my blog came up as a result. I hate onesies, they're so impractical for small bladders
- "penguin gifts for adults" - because duh
- "happy old asian lady" - yes. yes i am
1. chubby Asian lady - That's a bit harsh, search engines. I'm size 10/12 (M), 166cm and in the ideal BMI weight range.
2. Jade Pham GM Girls - This is how I learned there's a porn version of me in the States!
3. Captain Catman - I checked with his mum, she didn't google her own cat so who did?
4. brain typo - yup that's me in two words
5. birthmark on my bum - you'd be concerned if you knew how many people actually google this term
6. how to fix polyurethane clothing - I'm not the only one with this problem?
7. haystack hair - my hairdresser fixed that
8. nazi tugh tattoo - not sure if they meant a tuman tugh (a pole adorned with yak or horse tails) but either way, this nazi wouldn't have enjoyed landing on a k(g)ooky blog
9. chubby in shiny leggings - gee, I thought my legs looked pretty good in that shiny leggings photo. Thanks for proving me wrong search engines
10. how to make wardrobe from crate - this one isn't funny but I included it because i can't believe my blog may have actually helped real people somewhere!
11. Looking at my sexy feet - i don't know how my pigeon toed, stumpy feet got picked up by search engines for this. I guess Google has a sense of humour
12. Well dressed women - Baha, google really is funny
2. Jade Pham GM Girls - This is how I learned there's a porn version of me in the States!
3. Captain Catman - I checked with his mum, she didn't google her own cat so who did?
4. brain typo - yup that's me in two words
5. birthmark on my bum - you'd be concerned if you knew how many people actually google this term
6. how to fix polyurethane clothing - I'm not the only one with this problem?
7. haystack hair - my hairdresser fixed that
8. nazi tugh tattoo - not sure if they meant a tuman tugh (a pole adorned with yak or horse tails) but either way, this nazi wouldn't have enjoyed landing on a k(g)ooky blog
9. chubby in shiny leggings - gee, I thought my legs looked pretty good in that shiny leggings photo. Thanks for proving me wrong search engines
10. how to make wardrobe from crate - this one isn't funny but I included it because i can't believe my blog may have actually helped real people somewhere!
11. Looking at my sexy feet - i don't know how my pigeon toed, stumpy feet got picked up by search engines for this. I guess Google has a sense of humour
12. Well dressed women - Baha, google really is funny
People are funny. The things they type into a search engine are even funnier. Here are some keywords from my Google Analytics reports that make me wonder what I'm doing right. I've linked them to the blog entries these poor folk clicked through to expecting to learn something from my highly unhelpful blog:
- housemate sex etiquette - surprisingly popular and frequently googled
- my bum is blue
- clown wardrobe
- little old asian lady
- my pole room
- "sissy" "salon" "heels" - it was mainly the quotation marks around each individual word that made me giggle
- fat bald asian women
- expressions about pocahontas
- zumba hurts