Chopsticks. I don't hold mine correctly. Neither does Little Sissy Pham. Do you know who holds chopsticks perfectly? Big Brother Pham. You know why? Because he had our parents all to himself for the first four years until I came along and ruined everything. When I rocked up, my parents were chasing after a super active, wild toddler and Mum Pham was pregnant again a couple of months after I was born so I was left to figure chopsticks out myself when I had enough hand coordination to try.
All this is to say that Baby Pham will be an only child. Boyfriend Pham was an only child growing up and loved it, so he's always wanted a kid. Singular. My sister is my best friend and my brother is highly tolerable so I would have like to try for another baby if we had managed to get pregnant when we first started trying five years ago. But now I am an unfit 40 who didn't carry pregnancy well. I couldn't lift or actively play with 2-year-old Nephew Pham for nearly two trimesters and I don't want to miss out on playing with Baby Pham during his peak cute toddler year. I dread what recovery would be like after another pregnancy and delivery for my 40-something body if we could get pregnant again.
So instead of a sibling, I tell myself that Baby Pham will learn to hold chopsticks correctly because we'll have time and attention to teach him. He will be loved, adored and have his doting parents all to himself for many years... until he becomes a grumpy teen and moves to the bedroom at the other end of the house and wants nothing to do with us for a while.
