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KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY


Tigger Pham came into our lives in a sports bag with her sister Cuddles. She was scrawny, blue-eyed, bulgy-eyed, had weird white moustache-like fur on her mouth, a stumpy tail, short legs and was pretty ugly by most kitten standards. It was love at first sight. Her sister on the other hand was perfectly symmetrical with grey and white fur like a wolf; and long, sleek elegant limbs and lines. Cuddles was built for grace, Tigger was built for dopey.


I let Little Sissy Pham pick which of the two kitty kats she'd like knowing that she'd pick the excitable, playful and standard cuteness of Cuddles. That meant I would get the understated fur ball who sat in a lump and refused to play. When Big Brother Pham tickled Tigger’s tiny hind-paw to get a reaction she shuffled her tiny tush sideways and didn’t bother to look at him. In that one moment I knew the little snob and I were kindred spirits.


Whenever asked if I’m a cat or dog person I immediately say ‘Cat!’ but to be honest, Tigger Pham is the best of both worlds – she’s a dog-cat. Her cat-likenesses are: landing on her feet, eating demurely, hassle-free bathing and toilet etiquette and a fondness for changing favourite napping spots. Her dog traits are: she comes running out meowing to greet you when you get home, comes for walks with Dad Pham and me (only at night and pre-dawn, mind you, she gets picked on by magpies during the day), she follows you from room to room for the company and her clumsiness (the only cat more dog-like in agility is Captain Catman).


Tigger Pham stayed in Brisbane when I moved down to Melbourne five years ago and Little Sissy Pham managed to make her clinically obese in a few short years by feeding Tigger her favourite fatty feasts morning and night until her fur started to fall off and she looked like a blimpish wobbly wombat. It was lucky Tigger injured her tail somehow one day and needed to go to the doctor who told Little Sissy Pham that Tigger’s tail would heal itself but her morbid obesity was another story. It was time for a strict diet!


Tigger Pham grew in other ways while I was away too – she learned how to use computers and made a FaceBook page to keep me updated on her activities and weight loss. She also learned how to use Skype though she always stood uncomfortably close to the camera. What a clever baby!

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Harvest Festival’s The Gathering was a perfect end to my five years as a Melbourne resident. It was the first event in the festival’s debut East Coast tour so no one really knew what to expect. All I knew is that TV On The Radio (favourite band on the planet) and The Flaming Lips (one of my favourite live bands ever) were playing so when Misty (one of my favourite humans in the universe) told me to come to Harvest before I left, I yelled ‘OK!’ at the computer (she said it in an email) and bought a ticket. 

Through friends of friends who are now real (as in Facebook) friends we ended up traveling to the festival on a double decker party bus. Everyone kept calling it the ‘party bus’ and I assumed it was because we’re fun party people but I was wrong. The bus was decked out with karaoke machines and TV screens, disco lights and smoke machine. At 10.30am in the morning, we were probably the dumbest and most interesting thing half the farmers out Werribee way had seen all year.

As we rolled by fields and tractors and random double story houses, the bus was filled with the smell of manure one passenger said it best when she wrinkled up her nose and asked, “Where the f*ck is Werribee?” The Melbourne leg of Harvest was held at Werribee Park Mansion, about an hour South-West out of town. I’d never been there but I knew Elton John once played there so it has instant music cred in my books.

pic of Werribee Mansion 

Harvest’s The Gathering ended up being one of the nicest one-day festivals I’ve been to in years. The lineup was a good mix of chill out and rock out bands spread across three stages so while there’s been a lot of online complaints about the queues for drink coupons, drinks and toilets it didn’t have too great an effect on my day because I was happy to stand in a queue while the chill out acts were on.

Festival highlights in chronological order are: The Bedroom Philosopher – his hipster remix of Northcote (So Hung Over) based on his YouTube video comments is yet another reason to love the Internet and his spoof of The Flaming Lips ‘Do You Realise?’ had me laughing so hard and checking my fly was done up.

The Walkmen was my first experience of the massive drink lines – by the time my friends got back with booze they’d missed most of the band’s set and it was time to regroup with the troops at The Great Lawn stage for TV On The Radio.

TV On The Radio - Will Do video

It’s a shame TV On The Radio were on at the early time of 4pm because it meant I would peak too soon but I love them so much I’d already resigned to my impending heat stroke and lightheadedness from dancing too hard in the afternoon sun. Thankfully I was mistaken. A lot of people were taking it easy so I managed to get right to the front and under the few meters of shade created by the stage – yippee! They played most of my favourite songs – Will Do, Wolf Like Me, Staring At The Sun… oh love! I still cannot believe some of my friends didn’t know TVotR are African-American. How can they - being Caucasians that make winding their waists to Beyonce look like a strange, new robot dance - seriously expect TVotR’s soulful voices and rhythms to come from stiff whities like themselves? Sheesh.

Bright Eyes was a sit down affair for me after the workout I’d had with TVotR. I was tempted to get a slurpy but everyone had the same idea so the queue went for more miles than I was willing to wait out. Instead I opted to watch the alluring Conor Oberst from the safety of a big shady tree.

UK's Death In Vegas were next on my must-see list. It’s awesome when a band you haven’t seen live before and you don’t know much of their discography still manages to blow you away. Their electro pulsed rock had me dancing nonstop from start to finish and their music is on my ever growing to-buy list when I find my future job.

The National was the soundtrack to my turn in the booze queue. It’s the good thing about going with a group of friends, I got to see The Walkmen while my buds got to see The National. I was literally in line for their entire set and walked out with beers in hand just in time to see them walk off stage. In my hyped up state I wasn’t in the mood for melancholic rock or the broodiness of Portishead. I know, I know – I should be digging their amazing powers of minimalism but you don’t understand. This was my last night in Melbourne and I want to jump and dance and partay. Portishead is a band you watch in silent awe and smiling seems somehow highly inappropriate.

pic by Elaine Reyes

Fortunately my friends all wanted to party too so we left Portishead early to secure a decent spot for The Flaming Lips at The Windmill Stage. I’d seen The Flaming Lips once before at Festival Hall and it left me with sore cheeks from excessive smiling. This is what I was in the mood for. Lots of lights and confetti and streamers and giant balloons and happy faces and dancing and arms waving in the air and sweet simple songs that make you want to hug everyone. The Flaming Lips make people so happy! It’s how I want to remember my friends and life in Melbourne. Happy people doing happy things and being happy. It made flying out the next day hurt a lot less.

Thanks Harvest Festival for such an awesome day. Can we do it all again next year? Love!
 


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Some might say living with friends is a bad idea but in my experience it's super fantastic. This is what awaited me when I returned from interstate after Mum Pham's passing. Only true friends can gift you a whole pile of your favourite things!

There's bulk toilet paper because the worst thing that can happen in my universe is running out of toilet paper. Potato chips (plain and salt & vinegar are my faves) are my weakness. I cannot say 'no' when offered potato chips or the ice cream that isn't in this picture but written on the note that you also can't read. It says "AND ULTRA CHOC ICE CREAM IN THE FREEZER."

Everyone needs a fizzy drink to wash down the potato chips and they knew I've recently quit coca cola so Sprite it is! And 'Cheezel' in one of my favourite words to say in the English language and when I eat 'em I feel the need to say 'Cheezel' every time I pop one delicious orange ring in my mouth. 

Cider is my current alcoholic beverage of choice. Rekorderlig's ciders in all flavours are one of my faves, though as of last week at the launch of Bulmer's new Blackcurrant cider is high on my to-drink list as you can see in this picture. Everyone else picked a prop (that's the lovely Style-Paws as the centrepiece) but I refused to put my drink down.
Tea is one of my comforting daily rituals and Arnott's Butternut Snap cookies don't crumble when you dip them into Twining's tea. I need something to do while I sip my cups of tea and one of my favourite pass times is reading shop catalogues. IKEA, Big W and ALDI are my favourites - how did they know? My housemates are awesome!!

I went off Cruskits for a while when I went and got me some epic food poisoning and had to live on Saladas, Cruskits and Hydrolyte water for two weeks. But now I'm back to piling on toppings and spreads and telling myself it's a healthy snack because it's sitting on a Cruskit base.  

After the food comfort there's the pampering. Palmer's Cocoa Butter Formula Lotion is on of my favourites because it makes my skin feel smoother and more supple and smells so delicious. I love smelling like a chocolate bar! Are you getting from this blog post that I am fond of food and all food-related products?

Speaking of food, one must not consume nail colour no matter how much it looks like yummy yellow banana. I've just painted my nails this lickible shade of Maybelline Mini-Colorama's Urban Yellow. 
The cherry on top of my huge pile of favourite things is fresh flowers. Every house needs fresh flowers to make it feel nice. How lovely!

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I have met some brave hearts, kind souls and great minds in my time in Melbourne. None of whom I befriended. I prefer my dear friends to be cowardly and stupid so they're too scared to decline my Facebook friend requests and not smart enough to block me afterwards.

There's B & V, my childhood besties. We grew up to be three very different people - B's a circus trainer and roller derby athlete, while V's a physics PhD and dancer and I'm, well, me. But the three of us love food so we have regular cook-ups and eat-outs together. My favourite!

My crazy, random warehouse crew. Shaun (Juddy Roller owner), Romain and Scarlet lady - these mofos have seen me through some wild times. I wouldn't be who I am today without Shauny coaxing me out of my shell - love you, bro!

My ex-housies Chris & Brad (Mum Pham used to call him 'Brad Pitt' because she couldn't remember his first-name alone). We keep up our "KFC family dinner night" tradition where we watch trash, yell at Brad's TV and I always attempt (and later regret) eating as much fried chicken as the boys.

Last but not least, Misty, one of the awesomest people I have met in Melbourne. Every girl watches Sex & the City and wishes she had girlfriends who were just as fun and fabulous, albeit a lot less annoying. If I had a SATC posse, Misty would be in that dream team for me!

Farewell, my dear friends. I am going to miss you all so much. Love, love, love.

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You will know me by the trail of tea stains. I love tea - English Breakfast, Russian Caravan, Liquorice Peppermint, Dandelion, Lady Grey, Earl Grey, Peppermint, Jasmine, Camomile - you name it, I'll down it and leave a tea ring mark on pretty much every single bit of paper that crosses my desk (well, when I have a desk).

So when Diamond Dozen sent me to Chanoyu Spa for a two-hour relaxation head to toe spa journey as a parting gift (how lovely!) it just couldn't be more perfect. Chanoyu being the Japanese green tea ceremony; tea being my segue into this blog post. Glad I finally got to use one of the five words I've retained from six years of high school Japanese lessons.

Today I experienced my first ever professional massage, foot ritual and facial. A massage has been on my to-do list for about five years...now it's on my to-do semi-regularly list forever. I feel SO relaxed and happy and fuzzy.

I highly recommend Chanoyu Spa at 94 Smith Street in Collingwood, Melbourne. It's a very cute boutique spa run by a serene Japanese lady. The room itself is styled in a very traditional Japanese way and makes you feel calm just sitting on the cushion sipping green tea while you wait to be pampered.

Chanoyu Spa is above the yummy, yummy Wabi Sabi Japanese restaurant - I go crazy for their bento boxes. FYI you will walk through the restaurant with a clear head to get to the stairwell then eventually reemerge in a dazed dream-state and bump into a restaurant chair but the waitresses will apologise to you even though it was your fault because they're too nice.

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