KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

The Xmas Eve feast that cancelled Xmas for the extended Phamly.

The first full week I've had off work all year and, of course, the very first event I go to on my very first day off on Christmas Eve had a relative who tested positive to COVID-19. I am writing you from Day 3 since close contact, Day 2 of isolation because I didn't find out until Christmas night I had to isolate and get tested. Boyfriend Pham and I went to get tested the very next day. Being Boxing Day with all bar a few testing centres open, the queue was hectic. We got to the drive-through testing pop-up just before it was set to open, and it was a 5.5 hour wait from start to nose/brain-poke. We were prepared for the long wait, and brought our books, snacks, and water to keep ourselves from getting stir-crazy inside the car.  But it was still a bit trying in the Brisbane heat and trying not to kill my car's battery with the constand stop/start.

While we wait for test results, we are reliving our daily routines of the original 6-week lockdown. Home quarantine is much more pleasant in a 3-bedroom townhouse with courtyard overlooking luscious green trees, than a 2-bedroom apartment with balcony overlooking a busy street. Still, Boyfriend Pham is one of those people who is constantly doing something and can't be still for too long so the most challenging part of this 4-day quarantine is keeping him busy. [Edited from 7-day to 4-day: Originally thought we had to stay in for the full 7 days and take a second test, but because we weren't seated at the same table at family feast, I only needed one negative test result! Which makes me question the logic of casual contacts testing on day 1 and getting negative results by Day 3 if the incubation period is 4-5 days after exposure. But oh well - it's what the rules say. I'm free!]

Me? I can sit and read or write or death scroll or binge-watch my days away. With him? I need to get up and do morning yoga, coffee and reading on the balcony / cat enclosure. Tidy up the house. Play with the cat. It's nearing lunchtime? Great, time to cook lunch. Half way through the day now. Afternoon is spent doing at least one productive chore - be it, cleaning, baking, study, research, gardening - otherwise Boyfriend Pham will feel his day has been wasted. Play with the cat. YouTube break! Pre-dinner workout in the lounge room, followed by dinner and then it's time to relax on the couch and watch our latest TV show or a movie. Play with the cat. Bedtime. 

Not the relaxing, movie-going, massage-having, good-food outing holiday I had in mind but, such as life, hey?

I have finally found an alternative to plastic loofah-style body sponges that doesn't shred my skin to pieces or leave feeling unclean. I've tried soap sacks that were soft and soggy, and some coconutty scrub things and none of it was for me. I went back to plastic loofahs but felt a pang of guilt whenever I thought of turtles mistaking them for jellyfish so I went on the hunt again.

Konjac sponges are weird at first. They're hard as a rock and you have to soak them in water to soften them. I have gotten into a routine of turning on my shower, and holding the sponge under the water while I wait for the water to warm a little. But once you get used to doing that, it's great. It works for liquid body wash but to reduce household plastic, I use mine with a bar of soap. It suds up nicely for a clean wash. Recommend to people who want to ditch plastic shower loofahs!

I'm rather enjoying this new(er) small earring trend. Big acrylic earrings seemed to be all the rage before that, and while I used to love me big, bright and wild earrings, these days I want smaller and easier to manage earrings. Especially since I've heard horror stories of people splitting their ear lobes getting big earrings caught on things. Yikes. 

Mainly my change in preference stems from laziness. I can't be bothered with fashion that isn't super-comfortable anymore.  I've long since farewelled heels because walking shouldn't be hard, playsuits because I don't want to get half-naked to pee, and rings because they get in the way of things or maybe I get in their way - it's hard to tell sometimes. 

I got these cute little dangle hoops from Fora Jewellery. They're nice and easy to wear, and silver and black go with any outfit.  I've culled my earring collection right back to these dangle hoops and two sets of studs in case I lose one of the studs, which I am prone to do. I should probably get a second pair of dangle hoops for the same reason. I am just not reliable with small, dainty items. 

My right ear piercing from February this year still hasn't completely healed - there's a recurring pimple at the back of the lobe. I've had a horrible, infected healing process but am still thinking of maybe getting more piercings for my next birthday. Dumb move? Perhaps. Will I still do it? Probably.

No, I'm not pregnant. Little Sissy Pham is! Well, was by the time I got to posting this. She popped in October, and I can confirm having watched her pregnancy journey from start of this year until now that pregnancy glow is utter crap. It's like the adult version of learning Santa isn't real. Why do people try and make out like the rawest, weirdest, grossest human experience is all rainbows and glitter? It's not. It's a mess of life- and body-changing hurdles that you overcome or suffer through waiting for it to be over. And it doesn't end once the baby's born. It just keeps going and going.

Maybe in the past social norms pressured generations of parents into pretending everything was absolutely splendid because that was a sign of good parents to-be. Or maybe the patriarchy prioritised male everything so beyond impregnating women, they didn't give a crap about what women went through until it came time to deliver the baby. The middle 8-9 months in between is glossed over.

When Little Sissy Pham shared that she was pregnant (a huge tell at my birthday this year when the wine fiend had mocktails with me), I called my future nephew a parasite and people were appalled. It's not factually accurate since they're the same species, but reproduction sure looks and smells a parasite. Little Sissy's body was a host to this fetus and its placenta, which were literally trying to suck the life out of her for the entire pregnancy. She was constantly sickly, exhausted, uncomfortable and oh so whiny the whole time, because her uterus was the only thing defending her against the horrible parasite growing inside her.

I'm sure some women truly enjoy being pregnant. I've yet to meet any, but they probably are out there. Mum Pham always told us kids all three pregnancies were easy, but I was too young to ask her if she enjoyed being pregnant. Now I'll never know whether she was one of these unicorns who enjoys pregnancy, or forgot how awful the experience was by the time I was old enough to speak to her about it, or if she straight-up lied to my face because she wanted grandchildren.

I've yet to meet someone who loved having their energy, blood and nutrients drained out of their body.  Mostly I hear of friends and now sibling complaining a lot and loudly. Is it 'cause we are a softer generation? Used to creature comforts and low pain thresholds? Or is it because now society is starting to listen to women's opinions, this 'real talk' is no longer behind closed doors. In any case, pregnancy sounds horrible and I'm amazed humans have reproduced so much considering the general grossness of the experience from conception to birth.

Nephew Pham probably won't be so thrilled at being called a parasite once he's old enough to understand the word. And probably equally unimpressed that now he's on the outside of Little Sissy Pham's body, I call him a leech because he ponges off her and his dad. 

To all the parents out there, I salute you for enduring such a nightmarish life experience. I don't understand why anyone does it more than once but glad my parents did otherwise they would have stopped at Big Brother Pham and I wouldn't be here to feel dazed and confused by the circle of life.

I've moved desks recently because work is expanding and taking over different buildings and I've now moved into the furthest building. In my role I run and participate in a lot of meetings. Meetings that are in the main building where I am not. For a little while I've given up my hot teas and coffees so I can awkwardly carry my laptop and organiser across two cark parks into the main building. But I find it's not a fun time without drinks in long or early morning meetings.

I remembered I have a KeepCup from when I used to get takeaway hot drinks. I fell out of the habit to save money to buy a mortgage debt, and my KeepCup has been sitting in storage for a few years. When I finally got to using it to carry a hot drink from building to building it spilled over my fingers and when I took a sip from the lid, I could taste the deteriorated plastic. Ew. So I went home and looked up spill-proof thermal cups because in addition to not spilling things on myself, I also wanted my new vessel to keep my drink hot. I sometimes get into the zone at work and two hours later my tea has gone cold.

The Google voted Frank Green the best spill proof lid and even better, their new ceramic range also keeps your drink hot for hours. I've yet to test this though because after a fun hour of mixing and matching all their many lid and base colours, and looking at their collabs with Disney and other fun designs, I settled for a mono-lilac colour and treated myself to having my name lasered on the cup with a love heart emoji. Cute. It arrived just in time for lockdown and quarantine and restrictions so I haven't actually used it in the office to take hot drinks to meetings between buildings without spilling liquid on myself. Yay!

I love the Frank Green design and am glad I invested money in a new, spill-proof, thermal cup. The only downside is the ceramic range is an awkward 10 ounce size. Coffee shops make 8 ounce and 12 ounce drinks - not sure why they landed on the 10oz. Perhaps so you'd get an 8oz and not overfill it? Odd. Besides the sizing, everything else about it is great! I didn't want the size up 'cause it's as tall as my Contigo Travel Mug that I use for water, which is a bit too big for a little tea or coffee. Highly recommend if you're tossing up between KeepCup and Frank Green - clumsy me will go Frank Green anyway with its screwed on lid and push button lid.

UPDATE: The Frank Green ceramic thermal range keeps your drink hot for hours. I've discovered the lid is easy to take apart to clean! But a little hard to put back together because so many components. I am quite pathetic at anything handy or practical though as Boyfriend Pham can attest to - I excel at the thinking puzzles in escape rooms, he excels at the physical puzzles - so I don't think most people would struggle to put Frank Green lids back together.

Not my kitchen, nor my dishrack. Work's so busy literally cannot get my act together to snap my own pic.  #retaillife

Boyfriend Pham are finally settling into our own home after 10 months. We've overcome the mortgage freak out everyone has when they first go into massive debt. And now we're starting to put some thought and money into how to make the house we love more liveable and comfortable day to day. 

Obviously, first we had to give Rei her outdoor cat enclosure. Then we've been working with Boyfriend Pham's friend on custom garage organising fit out, which I'll post once lockdown / restrictions end so he can come over and install it. And now we're ready for smaller upgrades while we save up to replace all three cracked toilets. 

One of my new favourite things is our Joseph Joseph dish rack. We had a $2 wire rack from Kmart that was functional but not super practical. We bought it when we stocked up our apartment with the main priority being cheap in case we broke up (we did move in together after only a few months of dating and we're both risk-averse). It served us well and it found a second home via Buy Nothing which is great!

Now we have a fancy, modular, adjustable dish rack. We have a cutlery holder - how novel! - that can be taken out of the rack to make more room. The whole rack can extend to double its size when you've done a big cook up, or it can be made smaller when you only have a few things to dry. My favourite feature - besides the rubberised spikes that mean nothing tips over, is the drain. It captures all drips and runs down a ramp into your sink so you can shuffle the dish rack off to the side of the sink to make more room and still have the water drip into the sink. Best purchase we've made for our kitchen so far, makes washing up less of a chore.

And yes, I realise how domesticated I've become. 

You know that feeling when you first download a new app and you're trying to puzzle out how it works? Or you’re a Mac user trying to navigate a Windows machine and vice versa? That confused feeling when tech illiterates can't get new technology working in their favour is how my immigrant parents felt when they fled home turf and wound up in wildly different countries to the community and culture they knew.

I was too small minded and inexperienced in my angsty teen years to respect my parents had risked their lives and left all they knew and loved behind. Instead, I found it frustrating my parents needed help navigating Australian society and that we were disadvantaged children of poor migrants, who didn't know how to make the system work in our favour.

Neither of my parents worked once we got to Australia. In Germany, Dad Pham was in the workforce until schizophrenia crippled his ability to hold down work, and Mum Pham was bullied out of a pharmacy by racist colleagues and customers. In Australia they went on the pension, and so didn't learn anything about the working environment to pass onto us kids.

It took my boss sitting me down and asking me what I wanted for myself a couple of years ago to make me actually think about career. I'd worked with him for years and he pointed out that I have exceptional achievement drive when it comes to my work, but zero achievement drive for myself personally. My immediate response was my parents are Buddhist, they raised us to appreciate what we have and to not want. Wanting things is a very Western culture thing. Though, I suppose, I live in Western society so I went away from that meeting and had a think about what I wanted for myself.

I've never had career development as a personal goal. My personal goals have always been things like being kind, finding positive ways to view life challenges or mundane things, learning from every experience. Career development is something I thought people with career paths did. You go to uni to study a thing, then you do the thing, and progress to more of the thing. I've been jumping all over the shop from high school math/science to creative uni studies to journalism then digital content then ecommerce then miscellaneous projects. 

I went back to my boss and told him I enjoy the project work I do, I am good at willing things to happen, and to develop my career I wanted to do what I do but for the whole company in a more official capacity. It took 18+ months to make it happen, but you are now reading the blog of a Project Management Office (PMO) Manager. Not too scrappy for a kid raised on Government handouts who went to a public school in low income area, where I got voted most likely to succeed which sounds positive until you learn parts of my peer group dropped out of high school and others had to be coaxed, pushed and prodded across the finish line.  

I am learning lots in my new role, and have lots more to learn, but it's exciting to have direction and focus. I wish I had personal career direction before my 30s but, hey, it's never too late to start. I'm proactively coaching the younger people in my life to be more progress driven, prepare themselves for growth and better opportunities - basically, teaching them how to work the system in their favour. I'm hoping anyone reading this will ask themselves what they want, and have a think about how to get there. If you want to talk it through, hit me up.

Dad Pham is forever saying how lucky we are to be living in Australia. He's damn right, we are. Little Sissy Pham and I visit dad once every week, and when I was a single lady with no boyfriend or cat and living 20 minutes away, it was easy peasy to spend all day with Dad and help out. I used to take him grocery shopping in the morning then spend the afternoon cooking a Phamly feast, then chill out until late. 

These days, I always take him grocery shopping in the morning and do his dishes, but lunch is potato chips from Big Brother Pham's pantry or 2-minute noodles from Dad's, then Dad kicks us out between 1.30pm to have a nap. Or if he doesn't kick us out, I head home around 2.30pm to do my own chores, and cook lunch for the week, prep our dinners, and do some work emails and set up my work week. Sundays are not fun days. Basically, Dad Pham needed more support than the half day once every week we are able to give him. 

The people in Dad's community recommended the Australian Government's My Aged Care support. One of their services is in-home care, which is ideal for Dad because he's nowhere near needing full-time care, but he's not doing so great on his own. He doesn't have energy to tidy up around the house and it's always a little messy. He doesn't have much appetite, doesn't cook regularly, tends to snack on junk food than have meals. General household and life chores are slipping.

My Aged Care has been a complete blessing. The government provides different tiers of funding depending on the level of care you need, which can be spent with any approved in-home care provider so we were able to select Sunnycare, a company that has Vietnamese-speaking workers. Ideal! Dad's English is also failing; he's starting to lose words in Vietnamese let alone English, his third language.

Dad's less lonely during the week as he has in-home care every couple of days, the house is generally tidier because they help clean the bathroom and kitchen, and organise his belongings - all the little things Dad has stopped doing regularly because he gets tired so quickly now. They also take Dad to the local shops when it's a cooking day to buy ingredients, which means Dad doesn't need to wait for me to come on Sundays to buy heavy grocery items he can't carry home on the bus.

Visit https://www.myagedcare.gov.au to see if they have anything suitable for you. While they do have some translators, if you can take time off work to attend the assessment with your loved one it means you'll get assessed sooner because they don't have to wait for a translator to be available. Worth the half day off I took to interpret for Dad Pham. 

I was very happy and very glad to make it to Melbourne for a whirlwind trip in June this year. I was there for 48 hours and made zero other plans (sorry any Melbourne friends reading this) besides the 90th birthday and conspiring with my cousin to surprise my Aunty on my one free night. 

I stayed with childhood bestie, B (back when I used to have best friends, now you're either a good friend or not a friend) in her mum and the Birthday Boy's house in inner-city Melbourne. Their glorious two storey old Victorian home is where I spent most of my time when I wasn't at school or at home. The sights and smells brought back nostalgic memories of many years in my child to teen-hood. I hadn't realised until I stayed here again (this time in the guest room instead of B's bunk bed... partially because I'm an adult but mainly because her bunk bed is no longer around) that this house was my childhood sanctuary. The feeling of calm and nurturing that little me would have been too oblivious to observe and appreciate did not go over my head this time. 

Kitchen where I spent many hours of my youth

Birthday Boy was like surrogate father to younger me. He'd take care of us after school, made sure we did our homework and had snacks. When we got to high school because neither of my parents drove or had a car, he'd carpool Little Sissy Pham and me to school. He was always generously looking out for us growing up. I didn't clue on to the fact he needed us kids just as much as we needed him. 

The Maritime Union of Australia hosted Birthday Boy's big bash. It was a momentous occasion where they acknowledged the wrongs of the past that saw Birthday Boy ousted from the union and no longer employed. The timing happened to align with B bringing home a few kids from school who Birthday Boy took under his wing as part of his full-time stay at home dad duties. 

I was honoured and humbled to get an invite to his birthday, along with a function room full of other guests he'd positively impacted over the years. I wouldn't risk a COVID-19 lockdown and quarantining for many people, but Birthday Boy and B are extended Phamly. Worth the trip. Wish I could have stayed longer but I had a postponed 2020 wedding to fly to Cairns for. That saga will be another blog post. 

The always well-stocked fruit bowl from where I tasted nectarines and peaches for the first time

The first batch I made, being a jerk who doesn't read instructions, I tossed the tablet in cold water and I suppose I could have waited a few hours for it to disintegrate but, being an impatient jerk, I put it in a glass jar and microwaved it so the water was warm enough to dissolve the tablet in minutes. It was a lot of fun watching the bubbles fizz up. You can purchase glass bottles with plastic pumps from them, but I am reusing my plastic pumps. I'll upgrade to glass in about 400 years when my plastic pump bottles start to crumble.

I wonder if they regret calling their business Tirtyl (pronounced 'turtle') because it's a pain in my butt to tell people about them verbally. It's much easier to write.

I've been lucky enough to be COVID-adjacent for most of the past year and a half, going through lockdowns and closures and restrictions without drama beyond postponing or cancelling plans. But this most recent lockdown has been COVID-ful. Lockdown began like any other with the cancelling of plans and working for half the weekend instead to be productive... and then we got our first vaccinations, learned Boyfriend Pham had been in a close contact hotspot, went to a 24-hour testing clinic that just opened up in 8 Miles Plains, and got our negative results but still need to quarantine for a few more days.

The bright side of this latest lockdown is that AstraZeneca has been made readily available from GPs, and now I hear local pharmacies too. The tune has changed around not wanting anyone under 60 to have AZ. Boyfriend Pham and I booked in with the GPs for our first doses mid-week and, boy, was that a mistake. They do warn you that there are some side-effects for 24-48 hours, but really the messaging should be prepared to be out of action for 24-48 hours. 

I guess I'm writing this post so you're prepared if you choose to vaccinate with AstraZeneca. Please stock up on ibuprofen (we had Nurofen but any brand of ibuprofen will do) in case you need it. Not everyone's immune system responds the same way. From the six friends I've heard from since sharing my experience, the symptoms are exhaustion through to flu-like symptoms and lasts for half a day to the full two days.

So what did Boyfriend Pham and I experience? Immediately after the vaccine, we felt fine. I drove us home and we went back to work. About an hour later I started feeling flushed, my forehead was starting to burn up so I popped some panamax (not strong enough, it turns out) and kept working. After work, I walked the whole two metres from the dining table to our couch and felt utterly depleted of energy. Boyfriend Pham was still going strong. He played Xbox games while I played braindead.

When bedtime rolled I crawled into bed in a tee and Boyfriend Pham screamed 'cause my hands and feet were freezing. I couldn't tell my body was cold because my head was still on fever fire. So I got back out of bed, put on pants, a jumper and fuzzy socks and climbed back into bed. This time no matter how I curled up I couldn't get warm. I quietly suffered on my own until around 8.5 hours after our shot, Boyfriend Pham suddenly dropped off a cliff. 

He too started burning up and feeling freezing cold. He spent the next few hours physically shaking because his body was so cold. Eventually we fell asleep I think for about 1.5 hours then he got up to go to the bathroom, and I got up to get water because I'd sweated myself into dehydration even though I still didn't feel warm. We spent another few hours suffering before exhaustion put us to sleep for another hour. By morning I'd already told my boss I wasn't going to make it work work at my dining table that day. Instead, we spent the day on the couch feeling sick and sorry for ourselves. 

I can't even remember what we ate that day but I didn't have much appetite. Me! Yeah, I know, it means I was super sick. I had enough brain power for a family-friendly Disney movie. By 4pm, about 26.5 hours after our shots, Boyfriend Pham was able to get off the couch. I could shuffle about but I dreaded the thought of doing anything as focussed as cooking dinner. Instead, we ordered fish & chips and Boyfriend Pham drove us to collect it. I mainly ate chips 'cause the fish was too rich. We went to bed exhausted but at least we could feel the warmth of two blankets this time. The next morning, we woke up and it was like the last 30 hours hadn't happened. 

I'm told the second dose of AstraZeneca doesn't trigger any reactions. I have the day off work anyway to either stay home and feel sick or just to have a long weekend to celebrate my 100% vaccinated status. Good luck to anyone getting vaccinated, and good on you!

We made the right decision in installing an outdoor cat enclosure on our balcony so Rei could get natural sunlight when we're not home to leave our doors open. When I worked from home, Rei would follow the sun from our bedroom balcony door to our front door. She's squish up against the door ledge and it made me feel guilty that when I was in the office she only got morning sun in in our bedroom. 

Now that we have a cat enclosure, I barely ever see her during the day if I work from home. She'll come down a few times to check on me and each time I'd be boring work-mode at the desk so she'd go back upstairs. Basically, if I'm not sitting on the couch, my lap is useless to her.

Boyfriend Pham got a few quotes for cat enclosures and we ended up going with the most expensive quote because of the quality of their builds, and also the people seem like genuine cat lovers. Daniel, who came and did the installation, is indeed a cat lover. Once he finished the install, he stayed a while longer just to watch me coax Rei over the invisible line keeping her inside, and enjoy her new outdoor enclosure. There were cheaper, clunkier looking options, but being a townhouse, we wanted to have as little impact on the exterior as possible so body corporate would approve, and also so our house wouldn't look ugly. 

Happy Cat Enclosure installed Rei's little outdoor sanctuary on our balcony in a day. They were meticulous in securing the netting to the wall, ceiling and floor of our balcony. It's hours of detail work and the end result looks fabulous, and feels safe and secure. Rei has climbed the net and leaped from it daily and it holds fast. She spends hours each day lazing in the sun, watching the birds in the trees, climbing the netting when she sees a bug, eyeballing dogs and humans that walk past, meowing at us if we're down in the front yard, and overall just being a happy cat. 

My only regret about bringing Rei into nature is that she sometimes brings nature to us. The other day she brought giant grasshopper inside the house. It was so big we don't even know how it got inside the cat enclosure because its giant bug head looks bigger than the net spacing. I dread what bugs she'll drag in next, but ah well, it's all about happy cats right? Not so much an unhappy human screaming in the corner while Boyfriend Pham chases cat and grasshopper around the house. 

If you're considering a nice, minimalist cat enclosure I highly recommend the folks at Happy Cat Enclosure. Happy Cat Enclosures do all sorts of spaces either adding frames where needed or fixing to existing building structures like ours. They did a great job with our balcony, and recommended the glazier who installed a cat door for us too. Rei is a much happier cat now she can go outside inside.

Happy Cat Enclosures Brisbane

info@happycatenclosures.com.au

Do it! Your cat will love you for it, even though you'll see it less.

Temp desk before moving offices. Tad cramped.

In May 2014 a lady named Giselle contacted me about my 2012 Scrabble Letters post, asking to buy JADE off me for a room in her house that has a feature wall dedicated to scrabble words using the letters TYPO sold in 2012. Gisele collected them on eBay and Gumtree, and stumbled upon my blog on her hunt to build more words on her wall.

At the time, I had the letters decorating my desk. They were a gift from Little Sissy Pham and had sentimental value. Over the years, the letters have moved with me from office to office, and desk to desk until finally this year when I moved to desk too small to fit my standing desk and the letters. So I felt ready to finally say goodbye.

I reached out to Giselle on the off chance that 7 years on she may still want the letters and wouldn't you know, she did! In the spirit of Buy Nothing, I gifted the scrabble letters to Giselle. She lives interstate so it had to be shipped which is not in the spirit of Buy Nothing that aims to reduce environmental impacts by keeping items in your local area. But I figured it'd be better the scrabble letters continue their life in a home where they'll make someone happy, rather than go into storage and probably eventually landfill once I inevitably move desks again.

Fungal acne outbreak on my forehead in 2020. Alas, do not have a close-up pic.

I had a fungal acne outbreak last year - well, more accurately, malassezia folliculitis outbreak. At first, I thought it was my regular hormonal acne playing up due to pandemic stress. The small bumps were red and sore, then one day I used a chemical sunscreen that I've safely used before and my skin began raging and itching like crazy. I was so uncomfortable I struggled to sleep. 

That's when I went to the doctor and he gave me a round of antibiotics, and told me to ditch the chemical sunscreens and use a zinc-based sunscreen with minimal ingredients. This began my journey to overhaul and minimise my skincare products. This website has been my hero: https://folliculitisscout.com/ You can look up ingredients in skincare products and it will rank them for safety, potential irritants and things to look out for. 

It took nearly half a year to find products that weren't triggering, and soothed my skin. My new routine is a lot less complicated than before - no more serums, no eye creams, and no daily sunscreen (replaced with my UV blocking umbrella). 

I cleanse with Simple Gel face wash. I remove eye makeup with Bioderma micellar water. I moisturise with Innisfree Aloe Revital Soothing Gel. That's it. That's all my skincare products these days.

When I have beach day or go in the sun without my trusty umbrella, I use Ego SunSense Sensitive Visible Screen SPF 50+. It leaves a white cast on my skin, and also clogs my pores a bit so it's not for everyday wear. I haven't found a non-comedogenic zinc sunscreen to use daily yet. I don't feel the need to since I am not in the sun much, but if you have any recommendations, please hit a girl up.

During peak acne outbreak, I used BareMinerals powder foundation to cover up the splotchy red all over my face (thanks to Mecca in Indooroopilly for helping me find a safe foundation for my skin condition and for the colour-matching service). I don't wear foundation normally but if I did, I would definitely use BareMinerals. It's light and easy to wear, and great for sensitive skin.

I received devastating news recently about an old friend who took her own life, and I've been struggling to process her death. So here I am writing my way through the sadness and shock. 

Scar was a beautiful human being inside and out. She was a few years younger than me but when we met I wanted to be like her when I grew up. She was bright, bold, welcoming, and loving. We crossed paths in our early 20s during my warehouse party era and she influenced shy, reserved me for the better. Scar helped me come out of my bubble with her daringly open ways in our formative years. We drifted apart when I moved away from Melbourne, but all my memories with her are warm and vibrant and happy. I find it hard to connect her effervescent aura with such a muted and lonely goodbye.

I had no idea she struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts. I am shocked, but not surprised that I was oblivious because Scar carried herself with such strength and grace through life. I am horribly sad she chose to leave this world, and I wish life had been kinder to someone who made life more colourful and enjoyable for others. I hope she found the peace she was seeking, and I hope the family and friends she left behind will be OK. 

Tigger Pham was my first time cat parenting. Back then, if you didn't know something you went on not knowing because you couldn't Google it up. I never knew she was a tortoise shell tabby, I just called her splotchy browns if I had to describe her. We also didn't have an online microchip register with dropdown options to describe your cat's colouring.

When we transferred ownership over, I went in to rename her from Ray to Rei and spent an hour googling the history of cat breeds to define what she was and her colouring. I've concluded with my Google degree in Cat breeds that Rei is a pale ginger classic tabby with her marble swirls.

Along with her name change, I needed to get a new name tag and number. Even though - or rather, because we're raising her as an indoor cat, she won't be street smart so we want a collar with our contact details to help get her home safe. You know how I found her collar, right? I googled it up.

Rei is a teeny tiny kitten so I wanted a collar that is sleek and minimalist. At first I wanted a plastic name tag to make it lightweight but then I stumbled across Saangoh's embossed leather design on Etsy. After hours of online shopping, I kept coming back to these custom leather collars because they removed the need for a name tag and had the safety release in case Rei got her collar caught on something and choked.

Saangoh's leather collars come in a huge range of colours for the band and the bells. For Rei's pale ginger colour, I chose the natural leather with a silver bell because I wanted something subtle and classy for my little lady. It looks gorgeous on her! So very glad I came across Saangoh's cat collars, they're such a simple, practical yet elegant design.

I've been a cat lady without any cats for 5 years since I lost both my lifelong friend Tigger Pham and foster kitty Frederick, the Great a day apart. I lived with Nolan Pham for a while then went into the rental market for a few years. Now that Boyfriend Pham and I are settling into our first home, I've been thinking more and more about how it'd be a nice home for a Pham Pet. It's been one month to the day since we got Rei Pham. 

Rei came to us in a series of fortunately, unfortunate events. After she became lost and squatted on Somebody's porch, Somebody left her there for a few days to see if she'd find her way home. She did not so Somebody took Rei into work. At work, Boyfriend Pham's family took her home when nobody else, not even the local RSPCA, could take her in. 

That weekend they had plans to visit family in Brisbane and Rei was too young to be left at home alone so they took her along for the weekend. They tried to rehome her at their sister's but the sister's partner said no deal! So on their way home, they still had Rei with them when they pit stopped to visit us. As they walked through the door, they asked if I was allergic to cats. I replied, 'No, actually, we were talking about getting a cat the other day.' His face lit up. His friend was visiting this week and deathly allergic to cats so how about we keep Rei for a week to catsit and trial her? See if we were her furever Phamly. We are.

She was timid for about a minute on her first night with us as she explored the house. Day 2 was playful fun. Day 3 she gained confidence to try more things. Day 4 she was strutting around like she owned the place. We knew then she was happy here, and let Boyfriend Pham's family know she wanted to keep us as her humans.

Rei has been multiple variations of her final name in her short few months of life. First, she was Reirei from The Lion King to match Boyfriend Pham's other pets Nala and Simba. But when they went to microchip her, they felt Reirei was tricky so she officially became Ray...for a week before I renamed her Rei after Rei Ayanami, the First Child in the Evangelion anime series. So, hello World, meet Rei! The First Child of Boyfriend Pham and me. She's settled in just fiiinnneee.

Never underestimate the power of a good date night. I have friends who are quietly going insane juggling family and work life. While they understand why their partners don't take them out on dates because the exhaustion of raising little humans and the logistics of getting a babysitter makes it extra hard; they can't help feeling frustrated. Part of me thinks: yeah, it's too hard basket to plan a date day or night. Part of me thinks: make a frikkin' effort to show someone you appreciate them. Part of me wonders if it's because their partners don't understand how much date nights may mean to their significant other. Quality time can be important and invaluable to a happy relationship. It doesn't need to be a regular thing, but it should probably be a sometimes, special occasion thing.

Boyfriend Pham and I don't have set date night - that's too much commitment for us. We have gym nights, basketball nights, girls nights, boys nights, niece nights... That's enough regular nights for one couple, don't you think? When we do have a day or night out together on weekends or after work, we make sure to appreciate the quality time. No phones, no social media numbing scrolls, no games. We focus on each other. It's easy to get bogged down in your day to day routines, and go through the motions of life without the e-motions that connected you in the first place. If we do start our own Phamly, I want to make sure we carve out time just for ourselves. Please hold me accountable when the time comes if I forget. I do have a habit of viewing the world how it should be and not how it is.

Guys and gals, if you haven't taken your partner out for a while... or ever, why don't you organise a date night? 

My HealthMate tracker bummed me out when it sent me a summary of 2020 stats compared to my 2019 activity. I had a very inactive last year. Lockdown, gym closures and every city dwellers' reality on and off these days.

My body punished me for my inactivity by locking up my lower back. It wasn't a fun way to spend Xmas break but it did force me to pay more attention to my physical health.

Dat Pham (no relation) at Northwest Physio was able to get my back back on track after only a few sessions. Once I had more movement in my body, he gave me a bunch of core strength exercises to make me stronger and more flexible. Basically, he doesn't want to see me much so the best way to do that is to make me fitter.

I've been doing my physio exercises at the gym and less of the deadlifts, squats and other weightlifting exercises I used to focus on solely. Gotta listen to my body more, and it wants more stretch and less strain this year. 

When I was a teen, Mum Pham took me to get my ears pierced at a pharmacy. They used one of those guns and my ears got terribly infected so I took out the earrings and let the holes close up. It's a shame - Mum was excited for me to wear these cute gold earrings she had from when she was little. I don't know where they are now. I guess she either pawned them or gave them away because I never saw them after that. When I was in my early 20s in Melbourne, I went to Off Ya Tree in the CBD and got my ears pierced with a needle. I bled for a couple of days but my ear holes eventually healed. It was so long ago, I can't remember whether I took forever to heal like I'm doing now.

15 years later, and those ear holes that used to be in the centre of my ear lobe now sat much further down than they did. I don't know whether ear cartilage keeps growing or if it's gravity playing its part (if anyone knows for sure, please shed some light because Dr. Google says it's both myth and fact that your ears and nose keep growing and I don't know what to believe). Either way, my ear lobes are bigger and longer and I didn't like how much empty lobe there was so I decided to get new ear holes.

I went to Unicorn Piercings at Toombul to get stabbed by an eccentric girl who used to work at Off Ya Tree (in Brisbane, not Melbourne). She distracted me with tales of her frozen dead pets and dreams of taxidermy and bone jewellery so I wasn't thinking about her poking holes in my body. I wish I'd thought to ask her if earlobes keep growing or if it's gravity dragging them down. Instead, I asked her why I bleed so much from my ear lobes because this time, again, I instantly started dripping blood. She theorised I had lots of capillaries in my earlobes because they're so "big and squishy."

It's been 6 weeks now and my ears still haven't completely healed. The bleeding stopped after a few weeks, but every now and then I still see a bit of blood in the puss or crusty mucus I clean off. I'm hoping my ear holes will finish healing in another month or so and I can start wearing the cute earrings I've started hoarding. And I hope they last me another 15 years before I feel the desire to poke two more holes in my lobes because they've gotten even longer. 

Since moving house I’ve been working to walk, and walking to work. Everyone thinks that’s great, but most of my friendship circle live in cooler climates where a 15-minute morning walk is not a stuffy, sweaty, burny form of self-torture. I suppose I could drive the 2 minutes to work, but because a colleague remarked that I probably wouldn’t keep up the walks during peak summer heat, I am of course going to keep walking all summer long to spite them.

I’ve been trying to find ways to make it work and a $32 UPF 50 umbrella is the best investment I’ve made towards proving my work colleague wrong. It not only blocks 98% of ultraviolet rays, it also provides shade with its blackout fabric and stops my skin from feeling like it’s burning under my SPF50+ sunscreens. Also, it looks bloody awesome with its silver top, black underside and rose gold frame. I love it.

I still arrive at work a sweaty mess because of the humidity, but I leave a folding fan on my desk to help evaporate the sweat. And I haven’t resorted to this yet, because peak summer heat hasn't hit, but a neighbour and colleague who also walks to work recommends getting an iced coffee to make it better. I will take him up on the icy drink, though mine will likely be iced water in my trusty insulated Contigo travel mug.

Wish me luck with keeping up the walks to work despite my colleague of little faith.

I spent the first day of 2021 visiting some of Boyfriend Pham's family. They moved just a couple hours outside Brisbane at the end of last year, so we went for an overnight stay on New Year's Day. It was Day 8 of my 11-day holiday, but felt like the first day I fully relaxed and enjoyed myself. Ecommerce life, hey?

We spent the day making and eating woodfired pizza, then got walked by their dog, before a night of playing board games all with lots of fun conversation. Seeing friends and hearing stories from outside my little Brisbane bubble is what I missed most from 2020. That, plus the amazing food at the now permanently closed Maria's Caribbean kitchen in Toowong - devastating. 

Being out of my house/Brisbane/regular surrounds let me properly chill out after being in high functioning mode for a lot of last year. It made me nostalgic for travel that we all took for granted, and planted the seed that I need to get out of my regular routine this year. Of course, it's easier said than done. As I write, a friend in Tassie and I were waiting for today's announcement as to whether Brisbane has been removed from Tasmania's naughty list so our Gold Coast getaway can go ahead as planned. And the update was that there'll be another update in 48-hours. But then the convention she was coming up for got canned so we cancelled our catch up. I still kept my annual leave days though, because I need the break.

Making travel plans is a bigger gamble than it used to be, but I'm going to jump at any opportunities that arise year. That, plus we have a $400 flight voucher that expires in October so we should probably use it. Unfortunately, everyone we're close with is a city-dweller and either their city is a hotspot, or their city thinks we're a hotspot.