KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Captain Catman does not like dirt. Captain Catman does not like stepping on, over or around objects on the floor. Captain Catman does not like closed doors. Captain Catman does not like humans in clusters greater than 4 people. Captain Catman does not like noise. Captain Catman does, however, enjoy eating food, staring at food, clawing at food, crying for food and naps in front of the heater.

If you ever get to meet this timid boy, don't be offended if he licks himself clean in every single spot you pet him. Captain Catman believes cleanliness is next to godliness or, at least, far away from an anxiety attack.

As legend has it, a drag queen once told me the tricks of her trade. The one that stuck literally was how to apply glitter make up. Part of me wants to share the secret. Another part of me then imagines being sued.

A dear friend of mine applied flower petals to her face and the chemical reaction between the petals and other ingredients in the glitter process burned her skin. Luckily, she didn't need plastic surgery and isn't the type to sue, but this is a reminder that some things are best kept to my face:
The White Rabbit at an Alice In Wonderland party. This night I learned that my hot pink glitter stains the skin for three days after. Fortunately, I was then working in an indie music company and they assumed the hot pink eye lids were intentional.
The Sci-Fi warehouse party. This time I knew the pink glitter would stain but I didn't know that when I ripped off the blue cloth tape from my neck and arms in a moment of merry partying spirit it would hurt like Hell the next morning and for three weeks the thin red lines would make me look like a self-harmer. I wore scarves a lot that month.

You know what, it's probably best you use me as a guide in how not to do make-up. I'm an idiot.

Anyway, back to my bare wrist. I just have to get me a new Baby-G watch. You can't tell in the pic but the 11, 1 and 7 are painted onto the glass so it totally pops out. How white, how bright, how colourful, how me!

I may or may not have also got me a new gold Casio vintage watch and Dad Pham coincidentally fell in love with a mens dress watch and it was nearly his birthday so Little Sissy Pham and I just had to get him an Edifice chronograph.

A friend came to visit and scared the bugeezus out of me last week. He'd been home to France where he had back surgery and as part of the recovery process he's ditched his messenger bag and is getting into swimming. Me, anticipating a hypochondria attack, decided to ditch my heavy handbag for a backpack and get back into swimming. I stopped swimming last summer when my tan started to resemble a radioactive coconut.


So the new plan is to do nighttime swims! 4 degrees and raining wasn't ideal weather to slip (more like wrench) on my old rainbow swirl Speedos and get back in an outdoor pool after 10 months of slothdom. There was cramping, vomitus in the mouth and lots of gasping for air but the important thing is my gut looked cute tucked in this swimsuit:

By the way, that's not me in a Western woman's body standing in between two buff men in the photo. My gut's only cute in my head, not in reality!

The first ever blog post I wrote can be found here at my old work playground Shiny Entertainment. Don't let the by Stav fool you, this post was written by a young hairy Asian girl, not an old hairy Greek Cypriot man.

If you want a crash course in the past 3.5 years of my life, you can read about the life and times of Shiny Jade here too.

I went to visit the old Shiny office on Friday to catch up with Stav and meet the newbie - Jimmy Bollard. I wasn't sure what to get a young man-boy from Adelaide as a welcome gift so I stopped off at my ol' reliable Officeworks on the way over and found a lion (man) shaped mouse (boy) pad. Welcome to Shiny, Jimmy!