KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

The egg and sperm collection process was straightforward. The hormone injections were physically challenging but it was the wait for viable embryo news that was mentally challenging because it's out of your hands at this stage. It's up to science and luck.

I had my egg collection on a Wednesday and flew to Melbourne that Saturday to visit Phamly because Little Sissy Pham wanted her son to meet the Aunty we lived with for 2-3 years to finish high school after The Phamly moved to Brisbane. I didn't need to be there, really, but Little Sis is sentimental and wanted me there so why the hell not? I was mega bloated still from the meds but the soreness was gone.

On Friday, I received a call from the clinic to say of the 19 eggs they collected only 8 were mature enough to progress. Boyfriend Pham and I had opted for ICSI where they inject the sperm into the egg rather than placing the egg into a culture with the sperm to naturally try and fertilise, because we wanted to control as much of the process as we could. However, of the 8 mature eggs, they only injected 2 successfully, another 3 failed to survive the injection because they weren't mature enough and were too soft. The last 3 eggs they put in a culture to fertilise naturally.

It was disheartening to learn less than half the eggs collected were usable and we only had 5 chances at a viable embryo. I kept telling myself that we just need one good one to proceed, even though, mathematical me knows our odds are better with more than one shot. And so, it was a blessing that I had an impromptu trip to Melbourne with my nephew and his parents to distract me. Our next update would be on Monday. The weekend days were fine because they were filled with family, travel and feasting, but when I went to bed at night I missed Boyfriend Pham and was anxious about embryo news.

On Monday, I missed a call while on my way to visit Little Sissy's friend and her new bub. I called back and got the happy news that one of the eggs had developed into a healthy embryo, and there was one more they were monitoring its development. Unfortunately, the other three did not fertilise. They would update me the next day. One out of 19 so far. Sigh. Still, I told myself. Better than none.

The next day, Tuesday, we flew home. Our flight was delayed over an hour so we were stuck at the airport with a 1.5-year-old to entertain. Fortunately, our flight wasn't on time because while we were sitting in the food court trying to convince Nephew Pham that his Happy Meal box was the most entertaining toy in the world, I got a call from the clinic.

I remember this moment so clearly because Nephew Pham was watching me intently while I was on the phone and as I started to smile, he started to smile. By the end of the call, I was grinning from ear to ear and when I happily thanked the scientist for letting me know that we have 2 viable embryos, Nephew Pham read my emotions and started to cheer and wave his arms. It was such a happy memory. We'd doubled our chances for an embryo transfer, and Nephew Pham was cheering for what could be his future cousin!

Two out of 19 is not a great result, but we'll take anything we can get. I'm 39 years old and next year my fertility takes a statistical nose dive, which will make the odds forever not in our favour. I've had friends go through multiple egg collections with no embryos at the end of it. I've had friends who go through egg collections and get 5-8 viable embryos. Results feel random because there are so many factors that impact fertility.

Next up, scheduling an embryo transfer...

Our fertility and pregnancy experience

We had our first round of IVF egg collection in March 2023 after 11 days of not-very-fun belly injections for the wannabe mum. We had the option of doing the egg collection knocked out in the hospital or mild anaesthetic at the Life Fertility clinic. I opted for mild anaesthetic at the local clinic because I'm not particularly fussed by a pap smear, colposcopy or any other procedure that some women find invasive and distressing. Also, I am cheap and do not want to pay hospital and anesthetist fees unless I really have to.

On the day, I had to fast since nobody wanted me throwing up from the green whistle (anesthetic) I would have before the procedure. Boyfriend Pham drove us there since I'd be too woozy to drive after and he had to provide a fresh sample of sperm - double duties. I just had to rock up, strip off my bottom half, put on a medical gown with an open back and sit in a chair.

We arrived an hour before my procedure was scheduled, and Boyfriend Pham went first. When they called his name, another guy stood up and also approached the nurse. We were very confused since the guy's name turned out to be Ryan, which didn't sound anything like Boyfriend's name. The nurse took Boyfriend to a private room and checked his name and DOB a half dozen times to be sure she had the right person before he was left to produce sperm.

A half-hour later, it was my turn. I was taken to a second waiting area where my blood pressure was checked. The nurse then walked me through the post-procedural area where I saw a handful of dazed women in recovery chairs. I was quite happy to see them eating snacks. I was hungry. Then I was in the procedure room where there was a chair, screens, trays of medical devices and two friendly nurses. One was there to give me the green whistle and help me through the procedure. The other was there to assist the doctor. A scientist in the room adjoining popped his head in to say hi and let me know he'd be checking the eggs as they were collected.

When the doctor and his student doctor arrived, the nurse gave me the green whistle. I quickly started to feel light-headed and was soon giggling away. The doctor showed me the many follicles I'd grown on both ovaries. Once it was clear I was feeling the effects of the green whistle, the doctor applied the local anaesthetic. The injection hurt a bit but not much.; I barely noticed the procedure had started. The doctor started retrieving the contents of the follicles using needles. A nurse would take each tube to the next room where the scientist would check the contents for eggs and call out the count as we went.

Once the doctor was done and gone, the nurses packed up while I sat there for a little bit. I was still lightheaded but felt OK to walk so told the nurse I was ready to get dressed. They provided pads in case there was any spot bleeding but I'd worn my period undies so didn't need one. In the recovery area, I sat in a comfy lounge chair, applied a heat pack to my lower belly and stared longingly at the packet of potato chips I was given but couldn't eat because I was too tired.

At some point, the doctor walked through with another patient and called out that I must be OK because I was smiling. I don't know what I was smiling about - maybe dreaming of eating. After a short rest, I told the nurse I was ready to go home. She gave me a take-home heat pack and instructed me to take Panadol at home if needed for the pain. Boyfriend Pham greeted me in the main waiting area and I made him do a pit stop at a fish & chip shop where we dined in with my little heat pack and a funny walk. At home, I curled up on the couch and took some Panadol. I was a bit achey but it was similar to a bit of bad period pain. Nothing major.

One more thing worth mentioning is the anaesthetic makes you mega constipated so make sure you have poop-friendly foods like prunes.

All up we retrieved 19 eggs, which I'm told is on the higher end of the scale. Though, what matters most is the quality. That will come in my next post about the wait for embryo news.

Our fertility and pregnancy experience