KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Boyfriend Pham and I aren't married - hence, calling him Boyfriend instead of Husband - and his surname isn't Pham. Even though I love my name - Jade Pham, short, sharp and to the point - there are a bazillion Phams out there and thousands of Jade Phams because 'Ngoc' meaning jade is a very common Vietnamese first name.

When it came to picking a surname for Baby Pham, it was a no-brainer. Boyfriend Pham's surname is so unique he's related to everyone in Australia who has his surname. So: decision made. No patriarchal reasons. If I had a less generic surname, I'd have used mine. If you know a Pham in Australia, chances are I am NOT related to them. The surname was easy.

The first name was a little trickier to pick when we had every name in the whole wide world to choose from. But once I put together a short list of names, we quickly realised we don't like most names. We whittled the list down to two options. One option we'd 'matched' on Baby Name App (a Tinder-style app) where we swiped yes or no to names we liked. It was our only match. The other option was the only name Boyfriend Pham didn't cross off my shortlist.

When people asked about Baby Pham's name before he arrived, we'd tell them we were tossing up between two options (without revealing what the options were). By the time I was in the birthing suite, I was pretty confident I'd ruled out the Tinder-style baby name - I'd only swiped yes because it sounded cute but have you met me? I may make a cute baby with my off-the-chart wide chubby cheeks, but he's very unlikely to grow up to be cutesy. If Boyfriend Pham and I live up to our expectations of ourselves as his parents, Baby Pham will be confident, kind and smart. So we chose a name that's direct and to the point like we are.

So far he's living up to his name. I wish I could share his face with you because he has very stern eyebrows when he's considering things. You'll just have to trust me that our little dumpling gives the People's Eyebrow vibes:

Little Sissy Pham told me life with Nephew Pham got easier around the 3-month mark when he started to sleep better and generally be more robust. For us, it was around the 4-month mark.

The first 9 weeks were terrible because Baby Pham had reflux, which meant he couldn't be put down flat on his back to nap or sleep for about an hour after feeding (unless we wanted him to wake himself up vomiting and needing a change and being very upset). There was maybe a 5-minute window where he could comfortably do tummy time each day and I felt so guilty that I didn't put him down as much as guidelines tell us to (I fretted for nothing, Baby Pham was on his tummy almost nonstop at 4 months, and commando crawling like a champ by 5 months - a couple of months before babies usually start covering big distances with intention. He went from being most immobile to the most mobile baby in the few regular playgroups we go to).

Once he outgrew his reflux (he still spat up a lot until around 7 months), Baby Pham started having trouble pooping and would have inconsolable screaming fits before each bowel movement. That lasted a few awful weeks until I learned from our GP that he was getting too much foremilk from my boobs and it was giving him lactose overload and upsetting his belly. Then he went from belly aches before poops to explosive diarrhea that slipped out in sharts and poops - our nappy bill doubled for two months until we introduced solids at 4 months.

Around the 4 month mark when his eating and bowel movements settled, I finally felt like I got the hang of this infant parenting thing. Which is to say, anything bad? You just gotta wait it out. Babies grow so fast by the time you adjust what you're doing you don't know whether the change you made helped or if Baby outgrew the issue.

Boy, did Baby Pham have a poor streak of luck between 5-8 months. It all kicked off with his first round of teething around the 5-month mark. Every week there was something new for the next three months and counting...

Teething two bottom teeth, baby's first virus, windburn dribble rash that turned into eczema, teething top two middle teeth (one took 5 agonising days to cut through), second virus, teething round three, ear infection from swimming lessons (antibiotic ear drops were needed to fix this), third virus, food allergy hives outbreak... I'm bracing myself for what's next.

All of the above triggered overnight sleep issues. Poor bub was so uncomfortable he'd wake up every hour not able to resettle or connect his sleep cycles. Hence, this mum not writing blog entries for half a year. I have never been so exhausted and brain-dead in my life. I'm also the happiest and most fulfilled I've ever been in my life so: worth it. Though, in the sleepless nights and zombie days, what keeps me going is knowing that whatever the current hurdle is, it will pass. I'll do my best to move it along, but most of the time there are no quick fixes so I just have to try my best and wait it out.