No more Tinder fails

by - November 30, 2017

I've decided to stop online dating, and I suppose that means offline dating too since I only meet dudes online. I like failing to some extent, because it means I tried. However, I believe there are only so many times you should fail at the same thing over and over before you admit defeat. I'm no good at online dating - it's better for people who like texting which I hate, being flirty or playing mind games which I’m terrible at, and random hookups which I don't enjoy. I don’t know why I kept it up for so long. Dating is clearly not for me.

Our Phamly fortune-teller said I live in the world as it should be, not as it is so I will always struggle to make my idealism a reality. He is right - I want the ideal partner; someone of substance who'd become my best friend and back me on things, since I'm always taking care of other people but haven't had someone in my corner since Mum Pham passed. It honestly sucks not having someone you trust around to reassure you things will be turn out OK.

Now I think of it, this must be why I started (attempting) to date in recent years. I'd always been content to be single before Mum’s death. I never questioned why I suddenly thought dating was a thing I should do until now. I missed having someone that had my back the way she did - no matter what happened, I knew she’d always be there for me whether to support me or to shut my dumb idea down. But I’m not going to find that in the online dating world - it's full of broken people, and I'm too unlucky to meet a good one. My one attempt at a relationship from Tinder was a total fail because I met a lying cheater and was stupid enough to think we could build an honest relationship. And I've been failing at all other types of dates before and since then too.

I've been ‘taking breaks’ from Tinder the past year and a half since we broke up, and it's taken me this long to realise I don’t want to take breaks, I want to stop. I am totally burnt out, and so over spending time getting to know people I don't like. If I'm going to bother with other humans I'd rather my energy go towards friends who care about me.

It's not all dire though. Life took pity on me, and delivered a friend who's new to Brisbane so he’s up for random ventures about town. Things my coupled friends don’t have time for because they’re doing things with partners or other friends. It's the time out I need from boring dates I never want to see again. I might get back into the dating thing one day - whenever I next feel like punishing myself with disinterested bozos who treat me like a piece of meat, or interested weirdos who treat me like an alien species. For now - boys, bye.

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