Introducing Mini-bro Pham (girl version)

by - October 27, 2012

Agent Smith from The Matrix was right. Humans are like a disease to this planet but I'll be damned if he thinks we're not cute when we multiply and spread. Meet the newest germ in my Phamly:

I call her Mini-bro Pham because the poor thing looked awfully like Big Brother Pham when she was first born. Actually, she looked exactly like the baby from Ice Age 1 first, and then when she opened her eyes she looked like my bro.

I like to think I have a unique bond with mini-bro beyond just our genes and tendency to fuss when we've pooped our pants. I'm pretty sure I can read her mind. In this photo, she can feel two somethings on her face and she's thinking, 'What's hup-pen-ning?'

Then we took her home from hospital and she realised, 'Holy crap... this is what I have to live with?' Though, to be fair, I didn't buy her that onesie - I rightly assume she bought it herself with the baby bonus. Babies get to spend that, right?

When she's old enough to crawl, I'm going to put her in the middle of the hallway and make her pick the Auntie (singular) she really loves. If it's me, I'll cry until my blood vessels burst and spurt blood out of my eyes. If it's Little Sissy Pham, I'll knock my sister out with a baby rattle. Either way, mini-bro is going to have a traumatising life experience 6-9 months from now.

Life with The Phamly won't be all bad. We don't suppress her desire for Tin Tin hair (actually, it's her natural do - nature really is amazing). We took her bowling for her 1 month celebration of life where she drank and sharted.

I didn't know baby faces change a heap in their first month. Mini-bro still reminds me of Big Brother Pham, about three of my Aunties and when she's drunk on milk she looks like Dad Pham but thankfully her mum's big eyes and curly lashes are starting to overpower the Pham genes. Seriously, the other day I couldn't tell if the thing in my eye was a small twig, part of an insect leg or my own eyelash. We have intensely straight lashes.

Welcome to the world, mini-bro! Hate to break it to you but I know you're pretending to sleep in this photo. You forgot I can read your mind and you're thinking, 'Wake me when Auntie Ngoc is gone.'

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