I Don't Do Drunk

by - April 28, 2013

Some things I don't need to remember but can't seem to forget - like the taste of methylated spirits in my potatoes from year 9 camp. Other things I should remember but always seem to forget - like I don't have a drunk stage when I drink, I go from tipsy straight to sick. No thank you, brain.

Last Friday I went drinking with the new work crew and instead of sticking to 1-2 clear spirits, I went and had a shot with the boyz. And oh man did I pay for it. Within half an hour my vision went splotchy purple and blue before I stopped seeing altogether. Then I had the pleasure of throwing up 10 times. Once in the middle of the club, 5 times in the bathroom then another 4 times when I got home.

Dad Pham was quite proud. The ex-navy captain in him was all, 'It's good! This is how you know you're having fun.' But it didn't feel like fun when stomach bile was coming out of my nose and it definitely didn't taste like fun either. The only upside I can see is this will remind me to not drink shots again until the next time I forget and drink shots. By my calculations I'll repeat this vicious cycle in 2018.

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