KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Some of you may remember that I pranked Tuna Breath on his birthday by getting the whole team to buy him a tonne of tuna tins. He promised revenge, and put 3 calendar reminders into his computer to make sure he didn't forget. Well, guys, he delivered.

I arrived at work to find multiple types of chillies on my desk, in the tackiest, pinkest, most glitter covered bag and birthday card. He found out that I am obsessed with chilli - I have 3 types of hot sauce in my desk, pickled chilli in the fridge and sometimes fresh chilli too. Sweet Cakes was in on the prank too - she made me a beautiful birthday cake, with a side of minced chilli in a jar. Too cute. Tuna Breath nailed it. I'm going to be feasting on these chillies for months.


After work for Single Ladies Valentine's Day Birthday, I went for dinner with gal pals - 100% of whom were on loan from their boyfriends so my Single Ladies Bdays very not single these days. You're welcome, guys, most of you were off the hook for Valentine's Day - the most awkward days for going on dates, because romance is dead and people my generation and younger don't know how to cope with feelings. It makes for great people watching on the night, but from the looks of things not many great dates. The heat wave and everyone's face melting probably didn't help the looks of despair I saw on some lovebirds.

This year was my first birthday free from online dating horror stories since I quit Tinder and consequently dating. It meant I didn't have any hilarious / awful stories to share so instead we talked about travel plans, careers, hobbies, media, entertainment. It was fun!

Dinner was at Popolo in South Bank - one of my special treat places. You know, where the prices aren't cheap but the food is amazing, and the service exceptional so you go there only for special occasions. The awesome team at Popolo surprised me with a free cocktail, and free dessert. In your face Valentine's Day daters - I got freebies 'cause I was born. Bet you wish you were sad, alone, and born on Valentine's Day like me now, hey? Yeah, be jealous.

Dad Pham dreamt of us kids before we were born. Each dream came to reflect our personalities and lives. It could be coincidence, or it could be something else. Interpret the dreams as you wish.

Big Brother Pham
Before Big Brother Pham was born, Dad had a dream that he was standing in the open under a dark and stormy sky. God told him he was expecting a son, and the son would be his close friend, yet being trials and hardship to his life.

True to his dream, Big Brother is Dad's friend and also the child with the most difficult life. It impacted Dad and The Phamly a lot in our early years. Though, now the storm has finally passed and Big Brother and Dad Pham are living together and having the best time.

Big Sissy Pham (Me)
I, of course, was the most difficult of his dreams. Dad dreamt it was night time and he was crawling on his belly, deep in mud under barbed wire - he was cut from getting caught on the wires and bleeding. Ahead he could see a building with its lights on, which he instinctively knew he had to reach. As he pulled himself further and further, the wire got lower and lower until it was ripping him open. He started vomitting blood.

When he finally reached the building, he crawled up the steps to the building where, exhausted and bleeding, he found a room full of Vietnamese boys and a single Western woman wearing leopard print - he knew instantly she was strong, difficult and the boss. He had to choose between the boys and the girl. He picked me.

I bet he regretted his decision in my early teens to early twenties when I butted heads with my parents over their Vietnamese cultural beliefs and my Westernised ways. These days, I use my knowledge of Western culture to make sure Dad gets the best of both worlds - his Vietnamese roots and the benefits of living in Australia, instead of clashing with him. Cultures can co-exist, it's not one or the other - I saw the world as too black & white when I was younger.


Little Sissy Pham
When Little Sissy Pham was conceived, Dad dreamt he was by the sea when a German man in a formal suit told him he'd have a boy. The man then transformed into a half shark / half frog creature and hopped away across the water.

Now Little Sissy is a boy so the dream was somewhat wrong, except for the part where she identified as a boy until her mid-teen years. Whenever we role played games as kids, I would be the princess and she would be the distress. I also had to refer to her as Brother in Vietnamese. Though these days she's girlier than I am.

Little Brother Pham
Dad never had any dreams of our little brother. Before Mum came to term, she slipped on ice and fell hard - we lost our little brother who was stillborn.

This past year wasn’t my greatest. I feel like every year I get more extreme lows and highs than the last. Is this because I’m adulting and am more aware of my life’s twists and turns now? Or am I just really bad at keeping balance in my life? Either way, I am glad to see this year end.

The highlight for me was definitely my trip to Europe and seeing my German Phamly for the first time in 3 decades. The lowlights were Dad Pham’s health scare, the ongoing boy fails, and farewelling work bestie and corny chips. It's always tough saying goodbye to good people.

Things ended well enough though. I’ve made some new friends to add to my small collection of excellent humans in my life; Dad Pham has PhamLe living next door; and I have cats everywhere I go now. Cats are the greatest reminder that humans should be humble because we are clearly inferior to these majestic (yet dopey) creatures. Also, I wish I had a domestic cat's life - lazing around for most of my life, and still being super athletic and wild when I'm active. If I'm inactive for more than a day, my hard earned muscles turn to mush and I have trouble getting out of bed. Lucky cats.

Here’s hoping I can keep up the good momentum from the end of this year into the next. Goals include getting fitter - not as fit as a cat, I'm trying to be realistic here. I’ve been keeping up my Groove Therapy classes, and have added 1-2 more swim sessions a week, I even started jogging after a fill-in Groove Therapy teacher put us through an hour of nonstop jumping and I realised my cardio needs a lot of work when I nearly keeled over during blass. Lastly, I’ve started adult beginner ballet classes again. Another goal is getting back to nature more - less city dwelling weekends. And lastly, my friends are a bigger focus now I’ve given up online dating people I don’t like. Phamly have always and will always be a top priority so they're not a goal, they're a way of life.

Wish me luck kicking all my goals for this year. I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year too!

Big Brother Pham’s PhamLe moved in with Dad Pham at the end of last year, and Dad couldn’t be happier. Well, maybe he could - he keeps telling me to move home now that Little Sissy Pham has settled down with a partner. But, well, the fool went and got an adorable kitten so I won’t be leaving any time soon.

Dad Pham gets to see his grandchildren every day, and his favourite (read: only) son too. I still take Dad for his weekly grocery shop and cook Phamly dinner with him because that’s our time. But now he has someone to check in on him regularly throughout the week, and it’s nice he has the companionship without having to share his roof - he likes his independence.

After Xmas lunch this year, I was talking to him about his new living arrangement and he is so happy. Some mornings he doesn’t speak to them, but he’ll watch for them out the window when they leave for school or work, and that’s enough to make him smile. His favourite time of day is when the girls have their bath time. From his bedroom where he listens to his radio at night, he can hear the girls laughing and playing in the tub in their house. He doesn’t understand what they’re saying, but hearing their laughter makes him happy.

Grandparents are the sweetest.