KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

When I learned that Michelle Law’s “Single Asian Female” play at the La Boite Theatre in Brisbane had a preview show on my birthday (some of you may call it Valentine's Day), I knew it was destiny. Hello, I’m Always Single, and I’m Asian so I love anything cheap including preview tickets. This night was meant to be.

I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day the past couple years, but long distance meant I was solo anyways. This year I’m a free agent so for Single Ladies Valentine's Day I took a bunch of my single and not-as-single ladies to the show for Valentine’s Day.

I cannot recommend Single Asian Female enough - it is the best live theatre I have seen in years, possibly ever. You don't need to be single, Asian or female to relate to the characters. There is so much heart and soul and hilarity. No awkward or filler moments. Every little detail adds to the bigger picture. It had me in tears from laughing so hard, and from the heart wrenching & heart warming story.

Seeing people of my heritage and cultural background represented authentically live on stage filled a void I wasn’t aware was there. In all the plays, movies, shows, magazines I’ve seen, the South-East Asians are in Westernised settings. The best way I can think to describe what I felt watching the play is recognition and belonging. The women onstage were my mum (at one point, I accidentally cried out ‘that’s my mum!’ I was so shocked to see an EXACT moment my mother and I shared), the women were my Aunty, my cousins, my friends. So while I recommend this play to anyone and everyone, I especially recommend it to my Asian friends. It's rare and wonderful to experience something you can connect with on such a personal level.

Every now and then via my blog, I receive a message from a stranger who has been so excited that they’re not alone in thinking or feeling the same thing, that they’re moved to share their own story with me. Single Asian Female created so many moments like this for me and my girlfriends (none of them Asian except for Little Sissy Pham) - we left the theatre on a high and couldn't stop talking about all the different moments from the show we connected with. I hope Michelle Law, the playwright, is proud of her masterpiece that touches people on so many levels, and is perfectly told by a cast of brilliant actors.

The show runs until Saturday 4th March, 2017. As a birthday present to me, please treat yo'self to a night of laughs and love at Single Asian Female. If you read my blog, it means you like what single, asian women think so I promise you'll have a good time:

Some of you may remember that I pranked Tuna Breath on his birthday by getting the whole team to buy him a tonne of tuna tins. He promised revenge, and put 3 calendar reminders into his computer to make sure he didn't forget. Well, guys, he delivered.

I arrived at work to find multiple types of chillies on my desk, in the tackiest, pinkest, most glitter covered bag and birthday card. He found out that I am obsessed with chilli - I have 3 types of hot sauce in my desk, pickled chilli in the fridge and sometimes fresh chilli too. Sweet Cakes was in on the prank too - she made me a beautiful birthday cake, with a side of minced chilli in a jar. Too cute. Tuna Breath nailed it. I'm going to be feasting on these chillies for months.


After work for Single Ladies Valentine's Day Birthday, I went for dinner with gal pals - 100% of whom were on loan from their boyfriends so my Single Ladies Bdays very not single these days. You're welcome, guys, most of you were off the hook for Valentine's Day - the most awkward days for going on dates, because romance is dead and people my generation and younger don't know how to cope with feelings. It makes for great people watching on the night, but from the looks of things not many great dates. The heat wave and everyone's face melting probably didn't help the looks of despair I saw on some lovebirds.

This year was my first birthday free from online dating horror stories since I quit Tinder and consequently dating. It meant I didn't have any hilarious / awful stories to share so instead we talked about travel plans, careers, hobbies, media, entertainment. It was fun!

Dinner was at Popolo in South Bank - one of my special treat places. You know, where the prices aren't cheap but the food is amazing, and the service exceptional so you go there only for special occasions. The awesome team at Popolo surprised me with a free cocktail, and free dessert. In your face Valentine's Day daters - I got freebies 'cause I was born. Bet you wish you were sad, alone, and born on Valentine's Day like me now, hey? Yeah, be jealous.

You guys I am such a grown up now. This year at Not So Single Ladies Galentine's Day, we went to a fancy restaurant and by fancy I mean I didn't wear sneakers.

We went for a lovely dinner at Persone in the city where I felt out of place because I'm a child of poor refugees, and tend to save my money, not eat it - so my thoughts went something like this: Should my bum be allowed on this luscious lounge? This cloth napkin is too nice to sully, I'll wipe my mouth on the tissues in the my bag. Does anybody know what cutlery should be used first? Is it weird to ask to take the balloon heart on our table? We totally took the heart on the table.

Even though Persone has fancy interior and brilliant view of the cityscape, it's affordable for the quality of food you get, and the decor. We wined and dined, and watched the awkward, or quiet, or bored dates around us. The only other table who seemed to have fun was a big group of men and one lady who seemed like an office party. Gosh, Valentine's Day is a sham.

The one time a year men feel obliged to treat their ladies special by taking them to a nice Italian restaurant, and playing on their phones or sitting in silence. One hetero and one gay couple seemed to enjoy the experience and their partners that night. The rest of the tables in our view were a little depressing.

I like that my boyfriend could not give a shit about a commercial holiday. I like that I don't spend Valentine's Day on forced dates. I instead surround myself with the strong, funny and intelligent women in my life and we catch up on each other's wins and hurdles, and most hilarious stories since we last all caught up on Galentine's Day. Cheers to another year gal pals. Love you long time.

Even though I was on a dating spree and had a Valentine this year, I ditched my beau for a single ladies date night because it’s my birthday and I can do what I want to. Which turned out to be being good boyfriend to my girlfriends.

I cried so hard watching To All The Boys I've Loved Before on Netflix this week, a film based on the book by Jenny Han, which I haven't read yet but the trilogy is now on my to-read list.

I was embarrassed because it's such a sweet and funny TEEN movie so I didn't understand my feels. Why so emotional about a cute teen coming of age story? That night I went to bed still thinking about the film. The next morning I rewatched it because I'd enjoyed it so much the first time and also to see if I could figure out what about it intrigued me so.

I related to a film that had close to zero resemblance to any part of my life as a frumpy, grumpy, anti-social teenager. If anything, adult me is more like the lead character - I'm sensible yet emotionally naive and found myself in a 'second best / fake best' situation with a boy. But that's not why I loved the film so much.

As a tween I used to obsessively write fictional stories with teen girls as the lead characters. I have no idea if they were any good and they are all long gone because I wrote them on a typewriter and those pieces of paper were probably trashed by Dad Pham. He always threw out our homework as kids. I never realised until now that all of my fictional characters were white. That was all I read in books as a kid, that was all I knew. Representation is so important.

Watching To All The Boys I've Loved Before, I cried for younger me who would have admired and adored an Asian-American character like Lara Jean. I cried for what I missed out growing up, that feeling of belonging and acceptance. I cried because younger generations like my nieces will have books and films like this and realise they have a place in this world. They are not 'other', they are not invisible. I am so grateful to Jenny Han and Netflix and Lana Condor (who has Vietnamese heritage - woo)! Fingers crossed the other books in this series get adapted for film.

I'm going to see the movie Crazy Rich Asians on opening night with my (Not So) Single Ladies Valentine's Day Birthday posse. Wish me luck. I bet I'm going to cry like a baby.