I received devastating news recently about an old friend who took her own life, and I've been struggling to process her death. So here I am writing my way through the sadness and shock. 

Scar was a beautiful human being inside and out. She was a few years younger than me but when we met I wanted to be like her when I grew up. She was bright, bold, welcoming, and loving. We crossed paths in our early 20s during my warehouse party era and she influenced shy, reserved me for the better. Scar helped me come out of my bubble with her daringly open ways in our formative years. We drifted apart when I moved away from Melbourne, but all my memories with her are warm and vibrant and happy. I find it hard to connect her effervescent aura with such a muted and lonely goodbye.

I had no idea she struggled with mental health and suicidal thoughts. I am shocked, but not surprised that I was oblivious because Scar carried herself with such strength and grace through life. I am horribly sad she chose to leave this world, and I wish life had been kinder to someone who made life more colourful and enjoyable for others. I hope she found the peace she was seeking, and I hope the family and friends she left behind will be OK.