I haven't had many opportunities let alone the brain capacity to write blogs with Baby Pham taking up my every waking moment. I have, however, had plenty of time to sit in the dark in a nursing chair cuddling my baby at godawful hours, pondering random life things like what if I chop off all my hair to save blow-drying it and also, why didn't my postpartum hair loss thin it out more so there'd be less to maintain? Or what if I try to keep Baby Pham awake before dinner or let him nap for longer or let him nap for shorter to see if that helps his bedtime sleeping? (In reality, he does whatever the fuck he wants and some nights he'll nap before dinner and go to bed right after while other nights he naps and is up for two hours after dinner, then yet on other nights he won't nap before dinner and also won't go to sleep after dinner.)

Yes, I spent many sleepless nights pondering how to get Baby to sleep more so I, too, can get more sleep. But I don't think I'll ever figure it out and eventually Baby Pham will just sort himself out when he's ready. So then I move on to other thoughts. One of them is how I would approach blogging about my life while respecting Baby Pham's privacy. My world revolves around baby now, if I didn't write about him then I wouldn't have anything to blog about. Though I've decided with Boyfriend Pham to keep Baby Pham offline so I won't be sharing any identifiable information about him or images of him. The 2000 photos I already have (not an exaggeration) will remain locked away.

We aren't sharing Baby Pham's face on our private social media accounts either. We will wait until he's old enough to understand the risks of being visible online and capable of giving consent. If you're a Phamly friend reading this and don't want to wait almost two decades to know what my chunky monkey looks like, feel free to message me. If you're a stranger passing by my blog, you can look up the Boy Scout named Russell in the animated movie UP - our little dumpling looks a lot like Russell but with a naturally formed mohawk.