I have mostly fond memories of growing up in the now demolished council flats in Kensington, Melbourne. Except for two violent ball related memories. One was getting a painful leg and ass-whooping from Mum Pham and her feather duster for having a $2 black and blue soccer ball stolen from the playground while we climbed on rocks.
This is a story about a potato chip tree I made for a guy at work who I'll call Broke Back Boy because he hurt his back. Don't worry, Broke Back Boy's okay. This story is a happy one because he recovers quickly AND he gets a potato chip tree!
The Potato Chip Tree got me great compliments like, 'You're weird.' from the recipient and 'So random' by some one else. Even I think it's a bit ridiculous. I don't know how my brain leapt to a chip tree but I started at - oh no, he's hurt. Then, I should do something nice. Food obviously. Followed by, the freak doesn't eat chocolate. Opposite of chocolate? Potato chips. That's boring. [i don't understand this leap to] Potato Chip Tree!
Initially I was going to stick them on a weighted bottle (probably coke) but at the supermarket I discovered multi-pack chips come in boxes now. I don't eat small [read: recommended] servings - Little Sissy Pham and I can hoover a 175g party pack in one sitting... each. So I bought a Red Rock Deli multi-pack because the box assured me it had 'adult servings' inside and I'm always telling myself I should be more grown up.
The Potato Chip Tree is the chip packs stuck on the outside of their box, which I cut into the shape of an Xmas tree, stapled branches together to centre the weight then added a rolled up bit of box cut-offs in the base to make the tree trunk stronger. All the bags are held on by sticky tape and I made a complete mess of it taping bags to bags and branches and other bags... good luck plucking the chip packs off, Broke Back Boy. Get well soon!
Sorry it's been a few weeks since I've posted. You know how life sometimes just gets in the way... and by life I mean my life as a kung fu fighting monk in the Diablo 3 world of Sanctuary. Anyhoo, here we go:
I have a thing about generic greeting cards - that thing is: I don't like them. I prefer to pay the extra couple of bucks for a pop-up card or cards with personality or something that makes it that little bit different. After all, if some one deserves a card, they deserve a good card.
I also hate cards that have a generic message inside. I only use blank ones that force you to think about what you want to say to the person that you're going to give the card to. Seriously, take five minutes out of your life to put some thought and sincerity into the gift you're giving.
Or if you don't know what you want to say, buy something like this little gem I found in Australian National Geographic stores. They have snow globe gift cards with a tiny circle where you can just sign your name really big if you can't think of what to write. The joy someone will get from popping up this card is all they need - who cares what you had to say but couldn't!
I'll get off my greeting card high horse now. Please carry on.
It was Mother's Day the day after Dad Pham's 67th birthday. To celebrate, Little Sissy Pham nearly ran over Dad Pham with her car - I assume to honour Mum Pham's memory by taking out her living competition? Sissy Pham reckons she technically only nearly knocked him over with a part of her car (the open door)… yeah, because there's a real difference. Either way, she nearly killed our father the day after his birthday.
I used a less aggressive approach to Mother's Day. I took inspiration from the awesome Book of J.E.M. my friends made me and made a photo memory book to give to my Sister-Not-In-Law, the mother of the two most beautiful nieces an overbearing Aunty could ask for. I've taken some hilarious, sweet, cute, crazy, embarassing photos of the girls over the past 8-9 years. My goal was to mortify them on their 21st birthdays but the photos came in handy earlier than anticipated.
I viewed and mapped and planned and counted and culled and edited and printed and cut and pasted then decorated 233 photos into a 50-page craft book for the whole day. It took about 10 hours in total and one nearly burst blood vessel when Mini-Me (niece #2) tried to help and messed up my OCD-quality ordered stack of photos (Big Brother Pham had to herd her away before I died from self-restraint) but we got there in the end!
I wish I'd taken a photo of the finished product with all the Pham's handwritten notes inside the cover but by the time I remembered to, Little Sissy Pham had already gift wrapped it. You'll just have to trust me when I say the PhamLe Mother's Day book of 2012 is awesome.
We also did a Buddhist cermonial prayer for Mum Pham, which Dad wants to make our new tradition because it's happier than the annual ceremony we'll do for her day of passing. The ceremony involves incense, sending love to mum and eating food so I'm all for it. Hope everyone had a nice Mother's Day too!
I love crafty gifts. Actually, I love gifts of any kind. I even loved receiving a free sample of Kool'n'Soothe migraine relief in the mail even though I don't get migraines and have had maybe four heat-stroke or dehydration headaches in my lifetime. FYI, the sample went to a good friend who's suffered regular migraines since the age of 9 and said they worked a treat!
I got the best crafty gift over Xmas. My girlfriends made a photo album of all our fun times since meeting about 3 years ago. I call it The Book of J.E.M. (Jade, Elaine and Misty). Glad I changed my name from Ngoc to Jade otherwise we would have been The Book of M.E.N. and that could be misinterpreted. Here are a few of my favourite pages from the J.E.M.:
I got the best crafty gift over Xmas. My girlfriends made a photo album of all our fun times since meeting about 3 years ago. I call it The Book of J.E.M. (Jade, Elaine and Misty). Glad I changed my name from Ngoc to Jade otherwise we would have been The Book of M.E.N. and that could be misinterpreted. Here are a few of my favourite pages from the J.E.M.:
Zee Grrls
Attack of the Cheezels
I love my former housemates and not just because they got me a Little Mermaid ice cream birthday cake.
Elaine's rainbow birthday party
The furry men in my life
I can't remember where we are in this pic but that was a fun night!!
This made me laugh so hard!
Can you believe I didn't know about Ryan Gosling Hey Girl memes until I saw this in the J.E.M.? Sometimes I fail at Internet.
This video just makes me happy. It's the same stupid sense of humour I have. Only much better executed.