KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

It’s hard to be the first person to say ‘I love you,’ which is why I recommend you tell people ‘you love me’ instead. It makes things way easier so long as you’re comfortable coming across like an arrogant jerk.

It works well in situations with your partner. Whenever I do anything annoying to Boyfriend Pham like squeezing his arm non-stop and aggressively because it’s a habit from my childhood to adulthood with Mum Pham’s arms, and he looks exasperated and is about to tell me to stop. I remind him ‘You love me!’ To which he sighs and says in defeated tones, ‘I know.’

I’m not the only arm-obsessive, Little Sissy Pham has the same arm squishing habit I do. You guys don’t understand, Mum Pham’s arms were the best to squeeze affectionately and sometimes aggressively. So satisfying!

‘You love me’ also works well with siblings. I’m constantly reminding Little Sissy Pham that she loves me just in case she forgets, especially while I’m doing my big sister duties and birth right to poke fun at her every chance that I get. Like that time I teased her lisp relentlessly until she learned how to pronounce ‘crocodile’ and ‘smile’ properly. Or that time pigeon-toed me made fun of her funny, out-turned waddle walk until she trained herself to walk with her feet pointed straight ahead. Ah, she loves me.

When I first moved in with Boyfriend Pham he was persistent to the point of being annoying that I keep up with my weekly dinner with the girls. Why was he so desperate to get me out of the house? What was he doing without me? Eating family packs of potato chips? Watching porn? He is supportive of Girls Night because he knows and has dated girls who didn’t have a close-knit friendship with other women so their worlds revolved, a little unhealthily, around their boyfriends.

Girls Night in practicality is a night in at one of our humble abodes where we wear cute Peter Alexander PJs (not me - too lazy to pack PJs), drink wine (except me - too allergic to alcohol), and order-in dinner. Girls Night in actuality is a sanctuary. A place where we feel safe to talk about anything and everything going on in our lives. We support one another whether it’s through sympathising and sharing a similar experience so our friends don’t feel alone in what they’re going through, or giving some tough love and sharing advice we know they won’t want to hear but need to.

There is no such thing as oversharing at Girls Night. We talk about bodily functions, our relationships and dating, growing or failing friendships, our career development and changes at work, our living situations, pets, parents, and family. Whatever is on our minds, gets aired at Girls Night to a room of supportive, loving friends.

While I call mine Girls Night, yours can take any shape or form. It could be a social sport, or nights out on the town, or a book club. If it’s frequent enough to be called a regular thing, then you’ve got yourself a Girls/Boys/Friends Night. A time to look forward to, somewhere to socialise, have fun and share whatever’s going on in your life with people who matter and care.

I've worked in the retail industry long enough to know that supply and demand is a thing. But I don't really acknowledge that popular things are real until they enter my world. Introducing the Contigo Travel Mug.

I used to drive to work with a Keep Cup with hot tea but because it was hot, I couldn’t close the lid lip. It surprisingly only ended in a couple of spills for the year I did that. And then I met Contigo Travel Mugs at Biome.

The clever autoseal lid means no accidental spills; perfect for a klutz like me. Plus, hot drinks stay hot and cold drinks stay cold for hours on end. I learned the hard, tongue-burning way the first time I used my Contigo mug to leave the lid off for a little bit before sealing hot drinks inside.

I also learned the expensive, lid ruining way that you must rinse the lid as soon as you finished drinking your tea or coffee if you use soy milk ‘cause that shit sticks to the spring structure of the autoseal and will eventually ruin the lid after months of regular use. I had to buy me a new Contigo mug, and while I was at it, I got Dad Pham one too so he could have hot coffees by the lake on our Sunday walks.

These days, I have halved my work commute thanks to earlier work hours to avoid peak, peak hours and moving a tad closer to the office. I no longer sip tea for an hour each morning so my contigo mug instead keeps cold water cold for the warm drive to and from work, and for my gym sessions. It’s a fun time. Cannot recommend these mugs enough.

I have a new boy in my life; his name is Marco and he's my first ever brand new car. In case you haven't guessed from his name, this blog post title or the photo, he's a Volkswagen Polo. Named after Marco and Polo - the two crows that used to sit on the fence outside my bedroom / home office and keep me company while I worked from home and went stir crazy and started conversing with crows.

I've only ever driven second hand cars, and until the latest Getz all of them were bombs that Mum Pham and Dad Pham scrimped and saved to buy. Us Phamlings shared the cars because neither of our parents can drive. It was, how you say, the pits. Mum and Dad did so much to try and provide for us with the little they had. I wish Mum could see me now. I can afford a fancy European car that was Made in Germany like me!

I went with a VW Polo after my partner recommended it, and we rode in the back of his friend's GTI where I learned they've updated the chassis so it's not boxy and cramped like older models. It was the first car I test drove and the only one I test drove because I fell in instant love. Polos are a dream to drive. Everything is so well-made and has a luxe feel without the price tag. The Germans sure know good, efficient design. It is hands-down the best quality, small car in its price range ($19,999-$24,999 for the trendline with a few extras).

My Marco is so shiny, and new, and has so much tech that I was intimidated by him for the first couple of weeks until I finished reading the 400 page manual, of which, half wasn't relevant to my Marco because I got the basic, trendline model (still very fancy) but not feature packed liked the upgrades. Even so, after reading more information than I needed to, I understood Marco's tech isn't there to judge me for bad driving, it's there to assist me and keep me safe.

Except: I wish I didn't have him measuring me because I am obsessed with good stats (hence, fitness tracker life). I avoid zoomies in Marco even though he's so very fast to accelerate with his 1.0L Turbo engine. Gotta keep my eco stats high to stay fuel efficient! And that means accelerating steadily. Sigh. I refuse to use the stop/start engine; I know it's an eco feature to save fuel but I don't like the slight delay in accelerating and the jerk it adds to starting the car. Plus, I can't imagine it's good for the battery to stop/start so often in peak hour traffic.

I learned this year that I don't hate the gym; I just never knew how to use them for my benefit so I thought they weren't for me.

My boyfriend introduced me to gym life again earlier this year. However, he had no idea how to dumb his workouts down enough for me, an office pleb who did swimming and beginner dance to remain on the outskirts of unfit. After the first sessions with Boyfriend I couldn't walk properly for a week, so he introduced me to his friend and trainer, Elliot Burton who runs Physique Academy. He's based in Perth but does online training as well as in-person training.

Who knew Personal Trainers can show you how to make the most of a workout? Not me! My first, last, and only experience with a PT had been at a Snap Fitness and the chick didn't read her audience right. I woke up with a crook neck and couldn't go back to the gym for two and a half weeks, and Little Sissy Pham could barely walk. Never again! I said.

Then I started doing personalised Physique Academy workouts this year. Elliot eased me in with his personalised program, getting me used to the movements, and using muscles I didn't know I have. Physique Academy is based in Perth so my training is managed remotely. I have a training sheet to follow, and whenever I don't know how to do something I can hit up the Physique Academy Facebook group and Elliot will post a video demonstrating and explaining the move.

Now I gym more than my significant other. Sure, he plays basketball and does basketball training sessions that would probably make me vomit and pass out, but I go to the gym more so I win this round! This is the strongest I've ever been. in my day to day life things that used to be cumbersome like refilling the water cooler are now easy. Instead of awkwardly carrying/hugging one bottle, I carry one in each hand up the mother effen stairs. Little Sissy Pham looks at me legs, and exclaims "Whoa you're so tough now."

I've been sick for 6 weeks - run down from juggling work, house move, car hunt, and then Dad Pham had a hospital scare (he's fine, just a dizzy spell). But I'm back in the gym now and it's the best time.

If you've ever felt like me and thought gym isn't for you, it might be the workouts you're doing are not for you. Hit up a professional. I, of course, recommend Physique Academy. He knew how to ease this frumpy office potato into gym life.

Let's talk about balls. Massage balls in cars, specifically.

The great thing about dating someone whose family is very different to the people I know is I get exposed to new ideas. One night while a relative from New Zealand was in town, we went over to their motel for burger dinner. They were in Brisbane for a track & field event (yeah, I know - no way would we have crossed paths if my boyfriend wasn't a relation) and for half the night they talked about work in the sports field.

The dad demonstrated different deep muscle stretches on the kids who were staying in another room but came over for dinner. I thought they were awkward because they are teens for a start, and then teens being bent every which way in front of strangers. It wasn't until after we'd left that I learned those weren't their kids. They were traveling together for the track & field event but the couple's own kids were back in New Zealand. That would explain why the kids were extra awkward being massaged in front of total strangers.

Anyway, during the night I learned that you can sit and lean on massage balls while you're driving. Mind blown. I hadn't thought to do muscle work while driving but it makes total sense. I've been driving with one for nearly a year now, and it's the best thing ever. I arrive at work more awake because I've stimulated blood flow. And then I arrive at home feeling relaxed because I've worked out the knots from sitting and standing at a computer all day long.

I'm passing on this good advice from my boyfriend's people-bending relatives. They know what's what. I have a spiky ball so sometimes when I get over enthusiastic it looks like someone's beaten me with a meat hammer on the back, but a smooth massage ball or tennis ball will work just as well, and probably leave less damage if you go too hard.