KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Fungal acne outbreak on my forehead in 2020. Alas, do not have a close-up pic.

I had a fungal acne outbreak last year - well, more accurately, malassezia folliculitis outbreak. At first, I thought it was my regular hormonal acne playing up due to pandemic stress. The small bumps were red and sore, then one day I used a chemical sunscreen that I've safely used before and my skin began raging and itching like crazy. I was so uncomfortable I struggled to sleep. 

That's when I went to the doctor and he gave me a round of antibiotics, and told me to ditch the chemical sunscreens and use a zinc-based sunscreen with minimal ingredients. This began my journey to overhaul and minimise my skincare products. This website has been my hero: https://folliculitisscout.com/ You can look up ingredients in skincare products and it will rank them for safety, potential irritants and things to look out for. 

It took nearly half a year to find products that weren't triggering, and soothed my skin. My new routine is a lot less complicated than before - no more serums, no eye creams, and no daily sunscreen (replaced with my UV blocking umbrella). 

I cleanse with Simple Gel face wash. I remove eye makeup with Bioderma micellar water. I moisturise with Innisfree Aloe Revital Soothing Gel. That's it. That's all my skincare products these days.

When I have beach day or go in the sun without my trusty umbrella, I use Ego SunSense Sensitive Visible Screen SPF 50+. It leaves a white cast on my skin, and also clogs my pores a bit so it's not for everyday wear. I haven't found a non-comedogenic zinc sunscreen to use daily yet. I don't feel the need to since I am not in the sun much, but if you have any recommendations, please hit a girl up.

During peak acne outbreak, I used BareMinerals powder foundation to cover up the splotchy red all over my face (thanks to Mecca in Indooroopilly for helping me find a safe foundation for my skin condition and for the colour-matching service). I don't wear foundation normally but if I did, I would definitely use BareMinerals. It's light and easy to wear, and great for sensitive skin.

Tigger Pham was my first time cat parenting. Back then, if you didn't know something you went on not knowing because you couldn't Google it up. I never knew she was a tortoise shell tabby, I just called her splotchy browns if I had to describe her. We also didn't have an online microchip register with dropdown options to describe your cat's colouring.

When we transferred ownership over, I went in to rename her from Ray to Rei and spent an hour googling the history of cat breeds to define what she was and her colouring. I've concluded with my Google degree in Cat breeds that Rei is a pale ginger classic tabby with her marble swirls.

Along with her name change, I needed to get a new name tag and number. Even though - or rather, because we're raising her as an indoor cat, she won't be street smart so we want a collar with our contact details to help get her home safe. You know how I found her collar, right? I googled it up.

Rei is a teeny tiny kitten so I wanted a collar that is sleek and minimalist. At first I wanted a plastic name tag to make it lightweight but then I stumbled across Saangoh's embossed leather design on Etsy. After hours of online shopping, I kept coming back to these custom leather collars because they removed the need for a name tag and had the safety release in case Rei got her collar caught on something and choked.

Saangoh's leather collars come in a huge range of colours for the band and the bells. For Rei's pale ginger colour, I chose the natural leather with a silver bell because I wanted something subtle and classy for my little lady. It looks gorgeous on her! So very glad I came across Saangoh's cat collars, they're such a simple, practical yet elegant design.

Never underestimate the power of a good date night. I have friends who are quietly going insane juggling family and work life. While they understand why their partners don't take them out on dates because the exhaustion of raising little humans and the logistics of getting a babysitter makes it extra hard; they can't help feeling frustrated. Part of me thinks: yeah, it's too hard basket to plan a date day or night. Part of me thinks: make a frikkin' effort to show someone you appreciate them. Part of me wonders if it's because their partners don't understand how much date nights may mean to their significant other. Quality time can be important and invaluable to a happy relationship. It doesn't need to be a regular thing, but it should probably be a sometimes, special occasion thing.

Boyfriend Pham and I don't have set date night - that's too much commitment for us. We have gym nights, basketball nights, girls nights, boys nights, niece nights... That's enough regular nights for one couple, don't you think? When we do have a day or night out together on weekends or after work, we make sure to appreciate the quality time. No phones, no social media numbing scrolls, no games. We focus on each other. It's easy to get bogged down in your day to day routines, and go through the motions of life without the e-motions that connected you in the first place. If we do start our own Phamly, I want to make sure we carve out time just for ourselves. Please hold me accountable when the time comes if I forget. I do have a habit of viewing the world how it should be and not how it is.

Guys and gals, if you haven't taken your partner out for a while... or ever, why don't you organise a date night? 

When I was a teen, Mum Pham took me to get my ears pierced at a pharmacy. They used one of those guns and my ears got terribly infected so I took out the earrings and let the holes close up. It's a shame - Mum was excited for me to wear these cute gold earrings she had from when she was little. I don't know where they are now. I guess she either pawned them or gave them away because I never saw them after that. When I was in my early 20s in Melbourne, I went to Off Ya Tree in the CBD and got my ears pierced with a needle. I bled for a couple of days but my ear holes eventually healed. It was so long ago, I can't remember whether I took forever to heal like I'm doing now.

15 years later, and those ear holes that used to be in the centre of my ear lobe now sat much further down than they did. I don't know whether ear cartilage keeps growing or if it's gravity playing its part (if anyone knows for sure, please shed some light because Dr. Google says it's both myth and fact that your ears and nose keep growing and I don't know what to believe). Either way, my ear lobes are bigger and longer and I didn't like how much empty lobe there was so I decided to get new ear holes.

I went to Unicorn Piercings at Toombul to get stabbed by an eccentric girl who used to work at Off Ya Tree (in Brisbane, not Melbourne). She distracted me with tales of her frozen dead pets and dreams of taxidermy and bone jewellery so I wasn't thinking about her poking holes in my body. I wish I'd thought to ask her if earlobes keep growing or if it's gravity dragging them down. Instead, I asked her why I bleed so much from my ear lobes because this time, again, I instantly started dripping blood. She theorised I had lots of capillaries in my earlobes because they're so "big and squishy."

It's been 6 weeks now and my ears still haven't completely healed. The bleeding stopped after a few weeks, but every now and then I still see a bit of blood in the puss or crusty mucus I clean off. I'm hoping my ear holes will finish healing in another month or so and I can start wearing the cute earrings I've started hoarding. And I hope they last me another 15 years before I feel the desire to poke two more holes in my lobes because they've gotten even longer.