KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Most mornings on the way to work, I drive by an old, retro matte black Volkswagen buggy. It makes me grin to myself because I can't help but think someone driving that buggy with its retro esky and surfboard on the roof rack must be living their best life. You don't pack that much personality into your car if you're into conforming and keeping up with the latest trends. This person is clearly, unashamedly themselves. I love it.

I've been meaning to leave a 'yay you!' letter on their dashboard for the longest time to express my appreciation and admiration. But being me and living on the other side of town from work, I am always stuck in traffic and running late (but refuse to get up earlier than 5am to get in my morning walk/jog before work) so haven't gotten around to it. That is, until Xmas came around and traffic started to die down and I was in the spirit of giving (even more so than usual) since it's the season to think of Other People's Happiness.

I finally wrote, sealed and delivered a little note on Dec 27th, 2017 when the roads to work were nearly empty because non-retail industry types get to holidaze. I had that extra 5 minutes to pull over, tuck the note under their windscreen wiper and head off to work.

I hope whoever owns the Buggy doesn't think their car has been hit or they've gotten a fine when they see a note on the front. I wrote Happy Holidays in black on the outside so hopefully they realise it's a positive note before they open it. Wishing you a happy life, whoever you are!

I went from no cats for nearly 3 years to suddenly two beautifully adorable and different kitties. Nolan Pham, I live with and he’s an absolute bundle of joy. Sprite is Big Brother Pham’s cat and lives with Dad Pham because the granddaughters love - but are allergic to - cats. She's also called Splat just because.

Sprite’s origin story is not as tragic as Nolan’s was, but it’s still a little sad. As a kitty she belonged to an elderly lady who passed away. The lady’s family inherited Sprite but they weren’t cat people so she ran away. Sprite ventured into Big Brother Pham’s yard one day where she met my Sister-In-Law and never left. At the time they just called her Cat.

Cat kept returning every day, and at first, they thought she belonged to the new neighbours but eventually figured out she was no one’s cat and living in Big Brother Pham’s garage. Slowly, they began to feed her and soon she felt like part of The PhamLe.

Cat injured herself one day, and Sister-In-Law arranged a vet appointment where she learned Cat’s given name is ridiculously girly and didn’t suit this solemn, gentle, docile cat so she remained Cat. She was adopted out by the RSPCA 4 years ago, and had no record of vet appointments since then. Sister-In-Law wanted to adopt Cat but didn’t want to get her children’s hopes up in case her old family came for her, so Cat remained a visitor that they loved, fed and cared for.


Sure enough, a month later a family with young kids rocked up to the house to claim Cat. We thought it was goodbye forever until the next day when Cat came right back to The PhamLe and stayed for another couple of months. Just as Sister-In-Law was starting to think maybe Cat’s unwanted family weren’t coming back, they rocked up for the second time and took her. And again, Cat ditched them and came right back to The PhamLe. This time though, we knew her old family were moving away to regional QLD soon, and held our breath for days hoping they wouldn’t come and take her for the move. They did not. And so, Cat was given her Phamly name: Sprite. The young nieces think she’s named for fairies but, really, eldest niece really likes the fizzy drink. But Sprite is hard for kids to say so now she's also called Splat.

When Big Brother Pham moved next door to Dad Pham, we weren’t sure if she was attached to their old house or to The PhamLe so still there was hesitation about making her officially one of us. The first day she was, understandably, stressed going from an outdoor roaming cat to being confined in Dad’s house while we moved Bro’s life into his house. But next day, Sprite was already exploring the house, and a couple of days later she was adventuring around her new yard. Dad’s house has a cat door because of Tigger Pham back in the day, so she can come and go as she pleases. And she strangely chooses to stay indoors for most of the day, unless the girls or Sister-In-Law are outside and she goes to say hi.

She’s got a good, comfortable little life now - indoors, outdoors, constant companionship because Dad Pham is almost always home and if not, her PhamLe is just next door and they visit her throughout the day. When I sleepover, she kindly lets me sleep in my old room while she curls up at my feet. Adorable.

I love cats!

I went to Germany to visit my birth town and see where my parents lived for a decade before they moved to Australia. Little did I know I'd be meeting the origin of my chilli trees there too. Maybe don’t tell border patrol that. My German Uncle’s chillies are all over Brisbane and who knows where else it has migrated. German Uncle is the coolest as you can see from the photo. He rules.

When I was little, I avoided chilli like the plague. I was the wuss at the dinner table who needed to have my own spice and fun free dipping sauce, while the siblings had a medium hot sauce and Dad Pham had eyebrow singing chilli sauce. My, how the tables have turned.

Dad can no longer stomach hot chilli - he can have it mild. Siblings are still in the middle ground but these days I chomp through hot chilli like I don't need my stomach lining in tact. I'll each chilli with nearly every savoury meal in different forms - fresh, minced, paste, pickled, and sometimes combined with sriracha or other hot sauces 'cause I like to feel the burn. It's a combination of the flavour and the spiciness that I love. The trouble is, the more I eat the less I feel the burn so I up the quantity. When it starts upsetting my belly, I take a little break so my body can reset then I start out with a little spice and build back up again. It's a happy cycle.

When we first moved into the house Dad Pham said I'd be rubbish at keeping chilli trees and make a mess of the yard. But I think he got tired of me stripping his chilli trees bare every time I visited on the weekend, so when his old plant started to die, he split its seedlings into 5 smaller trees - one went to B at work, two stayed with Dad and two came home with me. After nearly a year they're finally growing a handful of chillies and boy-o am I excited for when they're in full bloom. Right now, I have to pace myself and have been scavenging chillies from Dad, B, and Uncle T. Crazy to think, these babies originated in Germany like me!

Finally, I am a cat lady again by way of aunty and roommate to an adorable kitten. Still too irresponsible to be a cat mum. Nolan Pham. This little nugget of joy came into our lives in November last year. His origin story isn't a great one.

A piece of human garbage went and put him in a plastic bag, and threw him in a bin. It makes me livid to think of how many animals die abandoned in horrible ways like being thrown in the bin, rivers, left on the side of a road - it's not much more effort and way less cruel to surrender them to an animal shelter.


Little Sissy Pham drove to Toowoomba to meet another kitten named Ava, who was adorable in pictures but didn't like Little Sis when they met. So Little Sis had a play with the other kittens the foster mum was caring for. Ava was there with a few others from her litter, and none of them clicked with Little Sis. Instead, it was the lone wolf of the pack - Nolan, who chose her as his human. He was separated from his litter.

Poor Nolan was found alone sadly, but in a way he was lucky to be alone because his independent streak is what Little Sis wanted. A kitty who can handle being home alone during work days. Nolan is definitely an independent cat, but also affectionate and likes to be around his humans when they’re home - or wander off to play his own games if we’re being too boring. He pretty much owns every room and surface in the apartment and courtyard now, so while he may not have had the brightest of beginnings, he's in for a great life being adored by his Phamly.

I’ve missed having a kitty in The Phamly. And now we have two! I’ll tell you about Sprite, Big Brother Pham’s cat, another time. Her origin story is a little sad too.

Mondays used to be a struggle because there is the weekend comedown, and getting back into the work routine with general tiredness and not enough sleep. Mondays were the pits until Groove Therapy came along, and with it the spirited, positive vibes of Wanida Serce.

I've been going to Groove Therapy every week since it launched in Brisbane earlier this year (except for my Europe holiday). Each week Wanida, without fail, brings bright and bubbly energy to class even when she's nursing an injury or cold. Her teaching style lifts my mood, and gives me something to look forward to on Mondays (I know, unheard of). Not only that, my dance floor moves have improved - I even had a somewhat drunk colleague tell me "I want to dance like Jade!" repeatedly at this year's Office Xmas party. If you want to dance like Jade, come to Groove Therapy. GT makes dancing fun!

I wanted to give Wanida an end-of-year thank you, Xmas gift that would show her how much I appreciate her - something that she could use. She's always wearing rad sneakers to class so I got her a pair of pink New Balance 247 kicks because dancers always need good shoes, and pink because she runs the empowering Pink Matter girl gang. See? So many positive vibes. I insta-stalked her pics to make sure she didn't have sneakers similar to this already, and then got her shoe size from a stylist at work but it seemed wrong 'cause we're meant to be the same shoes size but I swear her feet look smaller. Cue me standing awkwardly next to her after class to compare our feet, and they were definitely a bit smaller. So then I insta-stalked her boyfriend, found his email, and asked him to confirm her size. She's a half size smaller than me, but can wear 7s when there aren't 6.5s. Huzzah!

Alas, Wanida had rehearsals the night of our the last Groove Therapy class so I had to pass on her gift to her fill-in teacher and friend. Wanida messaged me soon as she opened her gift, and she was super stoked so YAY to Other People's Happiness! Couldn't think of anyone more deserving. She has honestly perked me up this year, helped me feel empowered and gotten my mind off some personal issues because I'm not moping about at home at the start of each week.

The aptly named Groove Therapy classes start up this Monday 8th January, 2018 in Brisbane & the Gold Coast (her boy Benny Garcia teaches GC), Tuesdays in Sydney, and Wednesdays in Melbourne. See y'all in class!

I sometimes wonder what our lives would be like if Mum Pham and Dad Pham had stayed in Germany.

Our Sunday Phamly dinners wouldn't be just it - it'd be with my Aunties & Uncles. I would grow up close to and mentored by Aunty 9's daughter - she's a kindred spirit, I can tell. Big Brother Pham would grow up close to Aunty 9's son, and our Long Lost German Cousin would have guided him along an easier life path than the one he took. I'm not sure who Little Sissy Pham would be close to - she'd be the darling of both sides of the Pham being the youngest, and also adorable. We'd all speak fluent German and OK Vietnamese and bad English if any.

My career path would be different. I'd probably still be a writer, I was always a quiet, pondering introvert even as a kid - but maybe with my creative cousin, I'd have pursued writing and design instead of math & science, which left me in the middle ground once I realised I wanted to work in a creative field, and had no skills to hone. Or perhaps, I would have been more social growing up, and not living in my own world in my head so wouldn't have developed my writing skills - instead, I could be building fast cars or aeroplanes, which was my other interest as a teen. Or it could be totally different again - who knows what opportunities Europe has that Australia doesn't.

It's strange to think that instead of moving to Melbourne for work, I would have moved to Berlin or Barcelona or Amsterdam instead. I doubt I'd have stayed in the small town some of our relatives still live in. A lot are still in Germany in different parts of the country though.

Ah well, what if... but things didn't happen that way, and if they did I wouldn't have my gorgeous nieces or all the people in my life that I love. It's just fun to ponder sometimes.

Prague was our last stop in Europe before the long flight home. By this time, I was missing Dad Pham and The Phamly a lot, but not much else in Brisbane. Little Sissy Pham mainly missed her own bed. We were all worn down by week 4 of our trip, but I'm a little more stubborn than my companions so I stomped around the tourist spots while they opted to go shopping at the many, many retail spots in Prague. Such a shame because the city is one of the more beautiful places we visited.

The castle and gardens on the westside of the river is stunning - highly recommend that if you have to pick one spot in the city to wander around in. Though, if you have a few days then check out the old town area - we stayed right near the town square and it's beautiful. The outer 'burbs reminded me a lot of Melbourne outer west - we got suckered into a tourist shopping trip at a mall on our last day, we were too tired to tourist anymore so had a chill day of shopping for Phamly gifts instead.

Ideal.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Sep 7, 2017 at 1:02am PDT

The people in Prague are much more cold and abrupt than what I'm used to. Little Sissy panicked a couple of times when retail and wait staff demanded she do things. It was hilarious, and intimidating. I suddenly understand my Czech friend better though - I used to think maybe under her cold exterior there was a softer side if only I could win her trust, but no - she really is just that unapologetic and blunt.

And there ends my Europe travel series. I'm so happy I finally got back to Europe after all this time. I do wonder sometimes about what life would have been like if Mum & Dad had opted to stay in Germany. Where would we be? What would we do? Who would we be closest to? Would we even speak English?

Heaven.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Sep 7, 2017 at 1:04am PDT

After Phamly reunions galore in our hometown, we went to Berlin and did what everyone should do - went grocery shopping at Lidl. It has anything and everything, and all of it is so good. We went a bit nuts though so had a lot food stuffed in our bags on the last train ride out to Prague at the end of our stay.

Berlin is a mix of modern and historic buildings. We went to the museum island, but by this time I was over seeing so many museums so we just went walkabouts around outside. We indulged in tourism life and took a tour boat along the river, then had late lunch on the needle (rotating tower) and enjoyed panoramic views of the city and a bit of motion sickness too. There was a massive rainbow the day we went so that made it even prettier.

Democracy.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Sep 3, 2017 at 7:44am PDT

The Reichstag building tour is an interesting insight into the modernisation of an old, historic building. Worth the visit if you're into, you know, knowledge and whatnot. For those of you who don't like to think much, then I recommend walking through the neighbouring massive park and gardens by the Reichstag building. We wandered around for hours just chilling, and climbed the tower at the round-about at the centre of it all to get a beautiful view over the park and city.

Berlin is a very liveable, I can see why so many Aussies move here. Berlin is also where I had a Tinder win. My last and only fun online date I've had in a long time. I've since quit online dating altogether. Berlin date was a funny, intelligent, interesting, well-rounded human being. He and all the other European matches I chatted to showed me it's not the dating app I don't like, it's the people on the app that make or break it. Sorry, Brisbane men, I'm not that into you.

Reach for the sky.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Sep 3, 2017 at 7:45am PDT

Mum Pham and Dad Pham were the human manifestations of 'opposites attract.' When we visited both sides of our Phamly in Europe it was interesting to see that their opposing traits run on their respective bloodlines.

Dad has always been physically fit and active and capable. Mum was never into sports or fitness and her activity was gardening. I am a combo of the two. I try to be active like Dad, but I have the 'Mum gene' as we call it - making me quite uncoordinated and dopey at all physical activity. I can see why Mum wasn't into physical activities, the mum gene makes everything a potential health hazard. Little Sissy Pham is the opposite combo to me. She has Dad's physique and was good at sports as a kid, though now prefers to sit on the couch with her cat and laptop - like Mum used to do.

When we met with Mum's side of The Phamly, it was a lot of sitting down for meals and talking - Mum's favourite things. Then when Dad's side caught up with us, there was lots of outdoor activity and walking around tourist sites - Dad's favourite things.

Dad's side are all physically fit, and conversation got heated when they talked politics. I don't know about the German side, but back home there a family feuds and little spats that Dad tells me about every now and then. Mum's side were are placid and soft spoken, and conflict isn't thing - everyone gets along with everyone else.

It makes me wonder what other family traits run through bloodlines and upbringing without people realising. It's so strange! And cool!

Keep it in The Phamly.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Aug 30, 2017 at 11:36am PDT

The train ride through north Italy into Switzerland was absolutely stunning. We went from Milan to Geneva via a town called Stresa. It went from grassy green fields to rich, green mountains and lakes during the trip. I wish the ride was longer than it was so I could feel that relaxed for longer watching the scenery go by.

All the photos I've seen don't do this picturesque country justice. There were waterfalls along the way, and I saw people hang-gliding off mountain tops. I adore this experience, and recall the memory fondly - if you're planning a trip to Europe, Switzerland is worth a stop-by or ride through it's honestly that beautiful. We were there at the end of summer, but some mountains were still snow capped because they were so high. Switzerland had crispy blue skies the whole time we were there - I loved it.

Hello Geneva.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Aug 26, 2017 at 7:53am PDT

We had two days to explore Geneva before we moved onto Germany for our Phamly Reunion. The lake at the city centre and the giant mountainous backdrop makes it idyllic. I can't believe a place like this exists. The first day we went for a walk along the lake to the far side and saw the flower clock then backtracked for cheap food near the hotel.

We randomly saw a police dog show in the park near the flower clock because why not? Geneva I found really relaxing, probably our second most chilled spot to visit besides Barcelona but for different reasons. It's a quieter town with not much hustle and bustle - going for strolls by the lake was the thing to do, and on the weekend locals set up little charcoal BBQs all over the park. It was perfect for my audiobook + walking habit. I think I'd get bored if I lived there but visiting was a fun time.

Swan lake.

A post shared by Jade (@thephamly) on Aug 26, 2017 at 7:55am PDT