Gone are my days of awkwardly 'cleaning' my glasses on my dresses, tops and on one occasion, my cat because she was dryer than everything else in reaching distance. By 'cleaning' I mean swishing bits of fluff and grime around on the lens. Clearwipe Lens Cleaners have changed my life! By 'changed my life' I mean I can actually see stuff and you need to see stuff all the time when you drive and write and read and eat. Well, I guess you don't need to see to eat but I do like looking at food.
Hello poser me. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I am slowly but surely on my way to not being called a fatty boombah by science. I'm actually out of the overweight range after dropping 3kg in three weeks - yay! But that's just on the very edge of the healthy weight range for some one my height so I want to keep going because if I settled for just okay my life would be super dull and I'd probably be the first person to literally (meaning literally, not the new shitty 'used for emphasis' literal meaning - will you dictionary people stop adding bullshit words and definitions already please?!?!) die from boredom.
The other day while cooking with Dad Pham, I learned that my dad was a certified life saver back in the day. Our best conversations are had in our kitchen where we both avoid talking about the cooking because as soon as he tells me how I should be doing something, I get all, 'You're not my mother! You can't tell me what to do!'
I had my doubts about the River Island Pink Cosmic Tube Dress because I am a 10/12 up-top with the hips of a 12/14 and tubes by definition don't have hips. I bought it anyway because I love it too much and, true, it's too snug at my hips but I'm going to allow myself this one discrepancy in my otherwise too picky wardrobe.
I've always trusted science because, like me, science doesn't lie. At least, not intentionally. We both have a habit of assuming we're always right until we're proven wrong. Science also likes to keep it real, which I respect. I guess that's why I take it seriously when science calls me fat.
Forget YOLO. We should be YLAYLing. You live and you learn. I've learned a lot this year already. Too much to smush into this blog post so I'll tell you one thing.
On my birthday, I learned that when I'm overexcited I start to talk in a low, breathy demonic voice. A bit like Christopher Nolan's batman if he were from the fiery pits of the deepest Hell. I can't remember exactly what I said when I opened my present but I do remember how I said it. The sounds my throat made scared the children and Little Sissy Pham had to reign me in before I gave them nightmares. Far right is me pissing myself after seeing Middling Niece's stunned face. YLAYL!
Hey, if you got this Lego Art Carousel for your birthday you'd be ecstatic too. It has four segments for textas, pencils, crayons and erasers. Or for me: Pens, pencils, mini-sharpies and lip balm/mints because I'm so grown up and my stationery is so mature.
The Lego head featured in the middle is actually a pencil sharpener (and OMG - you MUST know how much I LOVE sharpening pencils by now) with a happy face on one side and an angry face on the other side which perfectly expresses the only two emotions I feel in life. The carousel, in case you haven't guessed, spins like a carousel because it is a carousel. Everything about this Lego pen holder makes me happy. YLAYL!
On my birthday, I learned that when I'm overexcited I start to talk in a low, breathy demonic voice. A bit like Christopher Nolan's batman if he were from the fiery pits of the deepest Hell. I can't remember exactly what I said when I opened my present but I do remember how I said it. The sounds my throat made scared the children and Little Sissy Pham had to reign me in before I gave them nightmares. Far right is me pissing myself after seeing Middling Niece's stunned face. YLAYL!
Hey, if you got this Lego Art Carousel for your birthday you'd be ecstatic too. It has four segments for textas, pencils, crayons and erasers. Or for me: Pens, pencils, mini-sharpies and lip balm/mints because I'm so grown up and my stationery is so mature.
The Lego head featured in the middle is actually a pencil sharpener (and OMG - you MUST know how much I LOVE sharpening pencils by now) with a happy face on one side and an angry face on the other side which perfectly expresses the only two emotions I feel in life. The carousel, in case you haven't guessed, spins like a carousel because it is a carousel. Everything about this Lego pen holder makes me happy. YLAYL!