Dating Tip: Don't believe the hype

by - March 06, 2017

Aside from Tetris, I am terrible at playing games whether it's arcade games at Netherworld, any console ever invented or Crossy Roads - how does my 11 year old niece beat me? How? I am equally bad at playing games in the dating world - I take people at their word because I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I expect the same in return. 

I forget that society doesn't encourage most humans to function this way. I was raised by the very open-minded Dad Pham and an unconditional loving Mum Pham; both were supportive of my many baffling life decisions so I was never afraid to speak my mind or follow my head, heart and instincts. I knew my parents would have my back whether they liked it or not, so I never had to hide things, which means I never learned how to be shady. Recently, I had to check my privilege and remember that some people aren't so lucky. 

I'm always shocked when a Tinder guy asks me out, then specifies that 'if things go well' he wants me to sneak into his house, be discreet, take myself out of the space-time continuum while he has his way with me, then step back into reality and sneak out under my invisibility cloak. I simply say, 'No thanks, I don't want to go anywhere I'm not welcome.' He then chucks a tanty (they all do) and tells me it's my loss. I'm guessing these guys live at home, and don't want their parents knowing they have a sex life because societal/religious hang ups, but I cannot fathom having to sneak around in another person's home because I've never had to sneak around my own home. Life is so much simpler and fun when you can be yourself.

My naive belief that everyone is being themselves is how I get fooled by boys all the time. Like this one time I dated someone else's boyfriend. Or most recently when Rogue Fun turned No Fun because he said a lot of things he didn't mean and I got hurt when they turned out to be untrue. New dating advice I've given myself: take a step back and watch what he does, not what he says. It's easy to say things, and much harder to do them. 

Failing that, I will use my friends as filters. They did not approve of both The Cheater and No Fun very early on in the game. I'm going to use my friend's bullshit detectors to aid my future attempts at dating since my one keeps malfunctioning. You can't blame me though, I'm a pretty marvellous specimen so it's easy to trust a guy when he says he likes me, but I really must stop believing my own hype. 

I'm going to take a little break from trying to emotionally and intellectually connect to other human beings - it's too confusing, and hurts my feelings and insults my brain when people aren't upfront. I need a moment to reset my compass before I try to navigate this maze again. Til next time, let's end on a positive note. Don't believe the hype from guys who want to encourage your crush to boost their ego, but do believe in the kind words of strangers who have nothing to gain from wishing you well:

I'mma keep my head up. Thanks Craig.

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