KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

It's one of life's great jokes that Dad Pham can steer a rickety ship loaded with desperate refugees into open ocean, yet he can't drive a car in Australia. I'd always known my parents were Vietnam War refugees, but I only learned in recent years that Dad Pham was the one sailing the boat out to sea. I mean, he is a retired navy captain - it makes sense now that I know but it never crossed my mind until he volunteered the story. Like with all Dad facts, it was randomly and matter-of-factly dropped into the middle of a conversation about a beach trip.

Last Sunday I asked him if he was scared when he was on the boat. He answered, "No. I accepted my death before I left the shore. That's why so many people stayed behind - they couldn't face death. I knew I'd rather die at sea than live with the Viet Cong." I can't imagine being so desperate that I'd risk death for a small chance at a better life.

Soon after Dad was released from the 're-education camp,' he was approached by people who had a boat but no one to drive it. They promised him money in exchange for his help, but they and Dad knew they couldn't afford to pay him. Being a former prisoner of war, Dad and anyone he associated with would be persecuted if he stayed. He made the tough decision to leave his family and friends behind.

Dad couldn't tell many people he planned to leave because whispers of fleeing could lead to persecution or execution. He did tell the woman he was in love with. She was a secret love not even her brothers knew about. He asked her to come with him but she didn't want to leave her parents behind. They reconnected over email recently and Dad doesn't know how to use email so I was his go-between, which is the only reason I learned about her. She's now a successful chef at a Western hotel in Vietnam.

When the time came to go, Dad snuck a rickety fishing boat filled to the brim with refugees out into the ocean. He knew the busy thoroughfare in open ocean beyond Vietnam's borders where commercial ships traveled and that's where he navigated towards. They risked pirates, drowning, dehydration, starvation along the way; and when they reached their destination they risked abandonment as dozens of ships avoided the refugee boats for political, economical, social, whatever reasons. Dad always says his trip was blessed by God because of the many moments things could have gone bad but didn't. I knew kids in school who weren't so lucky - one witnessed his father's decapitation by pirates so I don't get mad that he went on to hurt me in primary school. Hurt people hurt others - it's a sad life cycle I refuse to perpetuate.

When they reached the thoroughfare, Dad Pham watched dozens of ships ignore their pleas for help. Finally, he made the men on the boat take down the cloth shades that provided some protection from the sun to reveal the people aboard the boat. His idea worked. Showing the passing ships that his boat carried mainly women and children is the reason a German commercial ship stopped to rescue them.

The photo is of Dad in Singapore where the German ship took all the refugees from Dad's boat while they waited to be processed as refugees and flown to Europe. I'll tell you about his journey from Singapore to Germany in the next episode, and how he found faith after witnessing the worst in humanity.



If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more

Rise and shine! Unlike the majority of morning risers in the park walking their furry family, I am walking my Fitbit and Pokemon Go, while listening to my favourite Podcasts. I'm not loyal - I get bored of podcasts and move on but these are the ones that have stood the test of time:

Radiolab - http://www.radiolab.org
Of course, one of my all time faves is a well-rounded, -researched and -written science podcast. Each episode always has me intrigued by intricacies of life, and I always feel like I've gained knowledge or discovered a new way to look at old things. I save my Radiolab podcasts for quiet time - usually before bed so I'm not distracted and can focus on the details. Who knew the world is so interesting? Radiolab.

Myths & Legends - https://www.mythpodcast.com
I love fairy tales, I love folklore, I love random stories from around the world. But I don't have time to read/listen to full tales let alone research and find which versions I should read. Myths & Legends by Jason Weiser cleverly edits summarises historical epics into short and sweet episodes with a cheeky sense of humour about some of the ridiculous elements of stories.

Lore - http://www.lorepodcast.com
So excited that Lore by writer Aaron Mahnke is going to made into a television show! It's well-written and spooky as. I can't listen to Lore at night - it keeps me up. I can't listen to Lore in the park - it creeps me out. I can only listen to Lore in morning traffic on the long drive to work because there's daylight and I have to focus on not crashing so I don't have time to dwell on the stories and creep myself out.

Astonishing Legends - http://www.astonishinglegends.com
Recently discovered this when I caught up on Lore's back catalogue. The show covers urban legends, unexplained mysteries and other creepy things. I occasionally brave it in the park but sometimes I get too creeped out by the supernatural stories, and have to switch to lighter listening. Like True Crime.

Generation Why - http://thegenerationwhypodcast.com
This is my faourite of all the true crime podcasts because Justin & Aaron have such good rapport. The duo grew up friends. Generation Why do their research then discuss their thoughts on the findings in a cool and relaxed way in a conversational format, which makes it easier to listen to than scripted podcasts. I look forward to their weekly releases and, yes, I am in the official Generation Why Facebook Group.

Casefile - http://casefilepodcast.com
I got onto Casefile after I crunched through Generation Why's massive back catalogue. I tried a few different podcasts but Casefile is the only one that stuck, which surprised me because the host has an Aussie accent that I sometimes find jarring since all the podcasts I listen to normally have an American accent. Casefile covers true crime stories from around the world, but also Australian ones which is nice (and also scary that it happens in places I've been or know). Stick it out through the first few episodes. The host gets better and talks slower and more clearly these days.

In The Dark - http://www.apmreports.org/in-the-dark 
I became obsessed with this short series. It's a really interesting and informative listen on how one child abduction in particular changed the way the USA handled such cases. You'll see that Australian law has mimicked the USA laws in recent history.

Detective - http://www.investigationdiscovery.com
This podcast is SO interesting. I love listening to the other side of murder from a retired homicide detective. Normally, podcast hosts are true crime fans - they haven't worked in the field. So it's refreshing to get a different perspective.

Savage Lovecast - http://www.savagelovecast.com
The OG favourite that got me into listening to Podcasts. I resisted this technology for the longest time because I am old and out of touch. Dan Savage is the sassiest and smartest unqualified sex and relationship advice-giver out there. There's a free version with ads so you can try it, then if you're like me you'll become obsessed and become a paid subscriber to get episodes that are twice as long, have special guest interviewees and no ads.

I love his take on life and always look forward to his rants at the start of each show about relevant politics, laws, news. You want to be open-minded when listening to Dan - he doesn't tone things down for the easily-offended.Whenever I struggle with the dating thing or try the relating to humans thing, I ask myself, 'What would Dan Savage tell me to do?'

Women Of The Hour - https://soundcloud.com/womenofthehour
Lena Dunham's podcast. Of course, I listen to an empowered, intelligent, feminist podcast. I have to balance out all the true crime podcasts where I constantly listen to stories women being victimised. Lena Dunham interviews strong, informed, inspiring women from all walks of life and all areas of expertise on her podcast. Very inspirational.

Serial - https://serialpodcast.org
Serial covers one crime each season. Season One was brilliant and felt like it sucked the world into the Adnan Syed case. Season Two about Bowe Bergdahl was intriguing at first but I lost interest by the end - maybe because I couldn't relate to American patriotism and also military life.


So these are the podcasts I'm subscribed to. Hope you enjoy some of them as much as I do!

I am on my way to becoming a stinky hippie. That's my way of saying I've been experimenting with different 'natural' deodorants. It all started with learning that all anti-perspirant deodorants in supermarkets contained conflict or unsustainable palm oil, and I'm trying to avoid products that hurt orangutans' feelings so I had to stop using my favourite Dove roll-on because: evil.

I went on a researching and sniffing spree of any palm oil free deodorants I could find. Here is what I tried and the varying results - basically it was 6 months of painful, itchy and/or stinking armpits until I found the one for me:

Eco Sonya Roll-on Coconut Deodorant – Pleasantly scented roll-on that needed twice-a-day application and sometimes I still smelled. I used it for about 6 weeks and would have kept it up except my skin reacted badly to their bicarb soda blend and I ended up with dry, flaky, irritated patches of armpit.

Sanctum Women's Deodorant – This was bicard free but also effectiveness free. I found it did nothing for my stench. I don't know how my workmates did not comment once the full 2 weeks I tried it. I seriously ponged.
Zoo Deodorant – I decided to try a paste next hoping something thicker would be more effective. I got this paste instead of the super popular and most well-known Black Chicken Remedies Axilla Deodorant Paste because reviews of the Black Chicken one had a significant number of people reacting to bicarb like I did with Eco Sonya. Zoo Deodorant worked OK but I did get smelly on the occasional day. Again, I would have stuck with it but then I learned the clay element of the paste gave me horrible ingrowns - painful red welts. Again, no dice.

Crystal Essence Crystal Deodorant – I've used a deodorant crystal in the past - the actual rock, and they work a treat for killing odour causing bacteria. I didn't want to go back to the crystal rock since I found it scratchy if the crystal chipped. But Crystal Essence make it in liquid roll-on form! This is what I've been using on the regular. It keeps me from smelling and lets me sweat so my skin doesn't get irritated for feel clogged. My armpits have never felt so free.

UPDATE 30/3/17: I now use the deodorant crystal because as much as I love the liquid form, it's so much plastic packaging. The actual crystal lasts a year where the liquid lasts only a few months.

Little Sissy Pham got me a Fitbit Charge for my birthday this year. Mostly it was recording how inactive I am throughout the day but, recently, I've been walking myself a lot and I'm no longer an embarrassment to the Fitbit Community. Unfortunately, as soon as I started getting my step count up, I noticed my Fitbit was starting to wear down.

The clasp had loosened so my Fitbit came undone and went flying a couple of times. Luckily, they're sturdy devices and it survived the fall down a flight of stairs onto concrete flooring. Then the glue started to lose its touch and the edges of the rubber wrist band came away from the plastic screen.
The good news is - Fitbit will replace faulty bands under manufacturer's warranty for up to 1 year. The OK news Fitbit sent me a new or refurbished Fitbit Charge (not good news since I find this a bit wasteful. The divice still works - it was just the band I wanted fixed. So wasteful). If your Fitbit is out of warranty, there is still good news:

When I was looking for a replacement band before I learned you couldn't replace bands on my particular model, I saw a lot of these random rubber cases on ebay.com.au. I didn't understand at the time that these were made to address the common band fault in the Fitbit Charge. I got myself a pink case and black band guard so now my Fitbit looks a bit chunkier but the rubber band won't wear down at the joint, and the clasp is locked in. I'd recommend both add-ons to anyone with the Fitbit Charge & Charge HR.
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go do star jumps to make up for the steps I didn't walk this morning.

I've gotten uncomfortably plump the past 2 years. I'd like to blame it on my 30s but really I've been letting my inner slob become my outer slob due to pure, unadulterated laziness. And now I have to do something about it.

Some people like to shake things off but, for the supremely uncoordinated like myself, shaking and generally moving is a dangerous business. I prefer my exercise to be minimal or, ideally, zero impact. I mean, I don't get to climb ladders at work unless it's the last resort. It could be because I wear short skirts and the boss is saving me from flashing the team while saving the team from the trauma of seeing my daggy dacks - but really I don't climb ladders because I fall over walking.

I've been walking every morning for about 2 months now. I've tripped over myself a few times - which is why I stopped jaywalking and started using the crossing at a massive intersection near my house. I nearly fell in front of a moving car one morning (sorry old man in navy sedan - didn't mean to scare you like that). The great news is, I haven't died AND my clothes are fitting better AND I have more energy.

I've actually gotten to a point where if I don't take myself for a walk in the morning (or swim or shoot hoops), I get restless during the day and have to spend the evening jumping around the house and doing weights. I'm sure Little Sissy Pham wishes I put my excess energy into cleaning the house - but cleaning is too stationary.

Walking is a good stress reliever too - unless you're like me and listen to true crime podcasts while you walk and become convinced that every early morning dog walker is a serial killer in disguise using adorably cute puppies to distract and disarm would-be victims. So, no, I don't stoop down to pet any dogs on my walks because that's how you get hit in the back of the head with a hammer then stabbed and bleed to death, and become a story they tell on podcasts to make everyone extraordinarily paranoid.

OK. I best be off - got an early morning walking date with a pal. You should join us, and walk it off - it's good for you.

Like most women, I judge the length of my hair by how often it gets caught in things and how varied those things are. Doors, windows, chairs, zippers, buttons, bras, handbags... When it becomes an hourly ouch, it's time to get a haircut. Wait, that's not how you decide to make a hair appointment?

When my Melbourne hairdresser became horribly allergic to hair treatment chemicals and retired, I floated around from hairdresser to hairdresser for years before resigning to cutting my own hair. And then I found my knight in poker-faced armour, Richard from Richard & Maisy Hair Styling at Level 4/190 Edward Street in Brisbane City. They used to own Hair Corner in Elizabeth Street Arcade in Brisbane CBD if that name rings a bell.

Richard is the bomb. He doesn't chat much - mainly because of the language barrier. His English is fine but not strong enough that carrying a full English conversation would be effortless and we'd both prefer he put his effort into the hair over small talk.

As always, I'm blogging as a genuine customer and fan. I've been loyal to Richard ever since he didn't bat an eyelid when I asked to shave my head (again). Instead, he gave me sensible advice unlike a few other hairdressers I'd visited - they questioned my choice, tried to talk me out of it and made me feel like I couldn't trust them to do the good job so I walked out. Which is lucky because that's how I ended up in Hair Corner.