I have mostly fond memories of growing up in the now demolished council flats in Kensington, Melbourne. Except for two violent ball related memories. One was getting a painful leg and ass-whooping from Mum Pham and her feather duster for having a $2 black and blue soccer ball stolen from the playground while we climbed on rocks.
I always thought I'd buy a boyfriend on eBay one day but I ended up getting one for free off Tinder. Bargain! You have to trawl through a lot more crap on Tinder but it's amazing what people will do for free things. I never thought I'd end up getting serious with a devout Christian. And I definitely never thought I'd go to church with him to see how the other side lives. Especially not after waking at 2am for the World Cup. I was scared I'd fall asleep and embarrass him by snoring or farting.
Smile! Those teeth don't clean themselves.
I was traumatised by a dentist in the public service when I was little. She was rough and mean, and must have thought I was being a wimp like other patients but no, I had a tiny mouth and I was whimpering because she'd ripped the left side of my lips open. After that day, I refused to go back to the dentist until I had money to pay for a good one (we were poor so free was the only option). It wasn't until a decade later when I had my first full-time job that I went to a posh dentist in Melbourne for a check-up. Luckily I didn't need much work apart from replacing a filling and good old clean.
I'm going through a phase of reading instructions and manuals lately. It turns out I've been doing a lot wrong all my life. But some things I get right. Like prioritising the Eurovision Song Contest over sleep and sustenance. And like always, it's totally worth it. Denmark put on an amazing show - the staging and lighting has to be the competition's best in history. So beautifully done.
False alarm guys, I am still technically an Always Single Lady because I'm pretty sure I can't have a boyfriend who already has a girlfriend. A couple of weeks ago, a lady contacted me on Facebook accusing me of taking her man out on a date. I've been on many online dates the past six months so I had to ask her who her boyfriend was. She told me his name and - oh darn, her boyfriend had been telling me he's my boyfriend for the past 6 weeks. Wow. Epic, huge online dating fail. I should be angry and outraged like my girlfriends but I'm more baffled and confused than anything. ...How did I even do that?
I got my eyeballs zapped in January. It was like a party in my brain and all the rainbow colour pixels were invited. The procedure was quick and painless, and each step was clearly explained by Dr. Beckingsale and the friendly staff at Laser Sight. I highly recommend this clinic if you're in Brisbane.