I adore my nieces to the point of obsession and sometimes I worry I'm like one of those doting parents who thinks their child poops rainbows and vomits unicorns, but even worse because I'm only an Aunty. I feel vindicated for thinking my nieces are exceptional little human beings because last month Middling Niece was given a spirit of the school award (one student gets this per year level) that said:
Mother's Day had me thinking about Mum Pham as it always does. Mum Pham loved watching TV game shows like Wheel of Fortune and the Price is Right because she got a thrill from seeing other people's happiness. She didn't care about the actual games, some of the time I don't think she even understood what was going on in the show but every afternoon like clockwork she'd be at the TV enjoying other people winning because happiness breeds happiness.
On Xmas Eve my boyfriend kicked me out of my house because he's a jerk...and he wanted to surprise me. When I came home my bedroom door was closed and there was a single balloon stuck on it along with a note handwritten in Vietnamese with a message he'd gotten translated by Dad Pham (swoon, shame my Vietnamese is so bad I didn't understand half of his message until he told me after). BF gave me a pair of scissors and told me to pop it - it was a preview of what was to come. Lots of love and lots of yum.
Even though I was on a dating spree and had a Valentine this year, I ditched my beau for a single ladies date night because it’s my birthday and I can do what I want to. Which turned out to be being good boyfriend to my girlfriends.
I have mostly fond memories of growing up in the now demolished council flats in Kensington, Melbourne. Except for two violent ball related memories. One was getting a painful leg and ass-whooping from Mum Pham and her feather duster for having a $2 black and blue soccer ball stolen from the playground while we climbed on rocks.
This is a story about a potato chip tree I made for a guy at work who I'll call Broke Back Boy because he hurt his back. Don't worry, Broke Back Boy's okay. This story is a happy one because he recovers quickly AND he gets a potato chip tree!
The Potato Chip Tree got me great compliments like, 'You're weird.' from the recipient and 'So random' by some one else. Even I think it's a bit ridiculous. I don't know how my brain leapt to a chip tree but I started at - oh no, he's hurt. Then, I should do something nice. Food obviously. Followed by, the freak doesn't eat chocolate. Opposite of chocolate? Potato chips. That's boring. [i don't understand this leap to] Potato Chip Tree!
Initially I was going to stick them on a weighted bottle (probably coke) but at the supermarket I discovered multi-pack chips come in boxes now. I don't eat small [read: recommended] servings - Little Sissy Pham and I can hoover a 175g party pack in one sitting... each. So I bought a Red Rock Deli multi-pack because the box assured me it had 'adult servings' inside and I'm always telling myself I should be more grown up.
The Potato Chip Tree is the chip packs stuck on the outside of their box, which I cut into the shape of an Xmas tree, stapled branches together to centre the weight then added a rolled up bit of box cut-offs in the base to make the tree trunk stronger. All the bags are held on by sticky tape and I made a complete mess of it taping bags to bags and branches and other bags... good luck plucking the chip packs off, Broke Back Boy. Get well soon!