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KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

A personal blog by Jade Pham


B and V are my childhood besties. The kind of friends who you grew up with and even though you live in different parts of the country or world at times, when you come together it’s like you’ve never been apart? These two are my long distance, close friends.

Well, both of them are living their best COVID-19 impacted lives. While I was buying my first home and am now settling down during COVID-times, both B and V had fled their homes and haven’t been back since March.

B went on a holiday to Tasmania and when the first wave of Melbourne lockdowns began, decided it was safest to stay in Tassie for the sake of her elderly parents. So while the majority of my Melbourne friends have suffered through a second, long lockdown period, B has spent endless days hiking, biking and adventuring in nature, and eating amazing looking food. Lucky me gets to stalk her private Google Photos feed - she’s one of those peeps who doesn’t mobile phone let alone social media.

V has had nature adventures of a different kind. She’s been living on a boat the past 6 months. It sounds like a dream but she’s working remotely so spends her days ignoring the gorgeous sites outside, tapping away on her laptop in a tiny corner of an already small table on a boat. Still, I imagine finishing work and stepping outside to a sea breeze ain’t all that bad.

I caught up with V in Brisbane as soon as the QLD-NSW borders opened. It was fun to hear about her COVID-19 life, and what’s waiting for her back home. Mainly, a car with a flat battery and perhaps some neighbours who may think she’s dead because she didn’t tell anyone she was going and wasn’t expecting to be away for at least the rest of this year.

2020 has been a write-off in many ways, but it’s awesome to hear the silver lining people have found. If you have any positive outcomes from this wreck of a year, please do share - I’d love to hear it. Email blog@thephamly.com.au



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As I write, Brisbane is in lockdown because COVID has gone wild in multiple schools across the city. Thousands of households have been impacted, so instead of my regular Phamly visit on Sundays, I am homebound. I feel lucky to have snuck a trip down to Melbourne in June to celebrate a 90th birthday, and pay respects to a gentleman who had an immensely positive influence on my childhood. Though, by the time the birthday event happened, the Birthday Boy had turned 91. Last year when COVID first hit, this 90th birthday in April 2020 was the first of what later turned out to be many trips I had to cancel as the country went into lockdown. 

I was very happy and very glad to make it to Melbourne for a whirlwind trip in June this year. I was there for 48 hours and made zero other plans (sorry any Melbourne friends reading this) besides the 90th birthday and conspiring with my cousin to surprise my Aunty on my one free night. 

I stayed with childhood bestie, B (back when I used to have best friends, now you're either a good friend or not a friend) in her mum and the Birthday Boy's house in inner-city Melbourne. Their glorious two storey old Victorian home is where I spent most of my time when I wasn't at school or at home. The sights and smells brought back nostalgic memories of many years in my child to teen-hood. I hadn't realised until I stayed here again (this time in the guest room instead of B's bunk bed... partially because I'm an adult but mainly because her bunk bed is no longer around) that this house was my childhood sanctuary. The feeling of calm and nurturing that little me would have been too oblivious to observe and appreciate did not go over my head this time. 

Kitchen where I spent many hours of my youth

Birthday Boy was like surrogate father to younger me. He'd take care of us after school, made sure we did our homework and had snacks. When we got to high school because neither of my parents drove or had a car, he'd carpool Little Sissy Pham and me to school. He was always generously looking out for us growing up. I didn't clue on to the fact he needed us kids just as much as we needed him. 

The Maritime Union of Australia hosted Birthday Boy's big bash. It was a momentous occasion where they acknowledged the wrongs of the past that saw Birthday Boy ousted from the union and no longer employed. The timing happened to align with B bringing home a few kids from school who Birthday Boy took under his wing as part of his full-time stay at home dad duties. 

I was honoured and humbled to get an invite to his birthday, along with a function room full of other guests he'd positively impacted over the years. I wouldn't risk a COVID-19 lockdown and quarantining for many people, but Birthday Boy and B are extended Phamly. Worth the trip. Wish I could have stayed longer but I had a postponed 2020 wedding to fly to Cairns for. That saga will be another blog post. 

The always well-stocked fruit bowl from where I tasted nectarines and peaches for the first time


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I've been lucky enough to be COVID-adjacent for most of the past year and a half, going through lockdowns and closures and restrictions without drama beyond postponing or cancelling plans. But this most recent lockdown has been COVID-ful. Lockdown began like any other with the cancelling of plans and working for half the weekend instead to be productive... and then we got our first vaccinations, learned Boyfriend Pham had been in a close contact hotspot, went to a 24-hour testing clinic that just opened up in 8 Miles Plains, and got our negative results but still need to quarantine for a few more days.

The bright side of this latest lockdown is that AstraZeneca has been made readily available from GPs, and now I hear local pharmacies too. The tune has changed around not wanting anyone under 60 to have AZ. Boyfriend Pham and I booked in with the GPs for our first doses mid-week and, boy, was that a mistake. They do warn you that there are some side-effects for 24-48 hours, but really the messaging should be prepared to be out of action for 24-48 hours. 

I guess I'm writing this post so you're prepared if you choose to vaccinate with AstraZeneca. Please stock up on ibuprofen (we had Nurofen but any brand of ibuprofen will do) in case you need it. Not everyone's immune system responds the same way. From the six friends I've heard from since sharing my experience, the symptoms are exhaustion through to flu-like symptoms and lasts for half a day to the full two days.

So what did Boyfriend Pham and I experience? Immediately after the vaccine, we felt fine. I drove us home and we went back to work. About an hour later I started feeling flushed, my forehead was starting to burn up so I popped some panamax (not strong enough, it turns out) and kept working. After work, I walked the whole two metres from the dining table to our couch and felt utterly depleted of energy. Boyfriend Pham was still going strong. He played Xbox games while I played braindead.

When bedtime rolled I crawled into bed in a tee and Boyfriend Pham screamed 'cause my hands and feet were freezing. I couldn't tell my body was cold because my head was still on fever fire. So I got back out of bed, put on pants, a jumper and fuzzy socks and climbed back into bed. This time no matter how I curled up I couldn't get warm. I quietly suffered on my own until around 8.5 hours after our shot, Boyfriend Pham suddenly dropped off a cliff. 

He too started burning up and feeling freezing cold. He spent the next few hours physically shaking because his body was so cold. Eventually we fell asleep I think for about 1.5 hours then he got up to go to the bathroom, and I got up to get water because I'd sweated myself into dehydration even though I still didn't feel warm. We spent another few hours suffering before exhaustion put us to sleep for another hour. By morning I'd already told my boss I wasn't going to make it work work at my dining table that day. Instead, we spent the day on the couch feeling sick and sorry for ourselves. 

I can't even remember what we ate that day but I didn't have much appetite. Me! Yeah, I know, it means I was super sick. I had enough brain power for a family-friendly Disney movie. By 4pm, about 26.5 hours after our shots, Boyfriend Pham was able to get off the couch. I could shuffle about but I dreaded the thought of doing anything as focussed as cooking dinner. Instead, we ordered fish & chips and Boyfriend Pham drove us to collect it. I mainly ate chips 'cause the fish was too rich. We went to bed exhausted but at least we could feel the warmth of two blankets this time. The next morning, we woke up and it was like the last 30 hours hadn't happened. 

I'm told the second dose of AstraZeneca doesn't trigger any reactions. I have the day off work anyway to either stay home and feel sick or just to have a long weekend to celebrate my 100% vaccinated status. Good luck to anyone getting vaccinated, and good on you!

Visit https://www.health.gov.au/initiatives-and-programs/covid-19-vaccines for official health information.
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2020 for most of us was the year that wasn’t. 2020 was the year for throwing plans in the bin, and adapting to lots of change. 

This was meant to be the year:
  • We went to Melbourne to celebrate my childhood bestie’s Dad’s 90th birthday, and the folks who looked out for me in my formative years could meet Boyfriend Pham.
  • I applied for an MBA for my professional development.
  • We went to Cairns to celebrate our friend’s wedding, which was going to be the first Indian wedding we attended and set to be an epic night at the convention centre.
  • Our Perth friends came to visit us for a fun week away on the Sunshine Coast. 
  • I studied for a project management certification.
  • Our Melbourne friends came to Brisbane for work events, and took time out to visit us. 
  • We bought a house. Oh, wait - that’s the one thing we did get back on track since it didn’t involve interstate travel.
  • We went to Perth to visit friends, family, and move Boyfriend Pham’s mum over to the East Coast. I should probably start calling her Not-In-Law Mum Pham.

I blame global leaders for ruining my 2020 plans through their lack of planning. Because people in power don’t like to listen to scientists much, the inevitable global pandemic hit us and nearly everyone was ill-prepared. 

This year feels chaotic, but remember COVID-19 didn’t happen out of the blue. Researchers knew something of this nature was eventually going to rear its ugly head. Boyfriend Pham and I even went to a talk at the World Science Fair in March 2019 when mass gatherings and events were still a thing, called ‘Pandemics & Epidemics: Preparing for the Ultimate Travel Bug.’ Then 9 months later, COVID-19 began to spread. Nobody was prepared.

Instead of investing in pandemic prevention and risk management, short-sighted leaders instead led us to huge economic and quality of life losses. Here’s hoping 2021 is less reactive than 2020. 

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Holly Ransom spoke about moving out of your comfort zone into your courage zone at an SMB Digital virtual conference in 2020. This concept has stuck with me even though I didn't put it into practice while I tried my darnedest to stay in my comfort zone through COVID-19. After two years of daily changes, then weekly changes, then monthly changes, it started to feel like the worst of COVID disruptions are finally starting to ease (famous last words, right?). I found myself pondering ways to move into my courage zone after that week of devastating floods in Brisbane 'cause it felt like I finally had time to breathe.

I've kept this screenshot of a slide from Holly Ransom's talk on my desktop and revisited it every now and then. I haven't taken a big risk or tried things I've never done before or felt vulnerable in years. If anything, I've been the rock collecting stability and safety during the pandemic at home and at work. Sure I pitched an idea to set up a Project Management Office in my previous role but it was to help the organisation do more of what I'd spent the previous half decade doing.

Last month, I started a new role in a global organisation in an industry I've never worked in. I'm going to be a beginner, doing things I've never tried before, feeling vulnerable, asking questions (because I won't be the person in the room answering everyone else's questions!) and trying my best to be bold.  It's a little scary and a lot exciting to jump feet first into my courage zone after years of living in my comfort zone. Wish me luck!

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I’ve gone over what 2020 wasn’t. Now on New Years Eve, I’ve finally had a week of staycation to unwind and look back on the year that was. 

I was completely emotionally and physically depleted by the end of this year. Workwise, I haven’t had a break since COVID-19 shut down Australia in March/April, and the retail industry went into crisis mode. I work in the digital space so after the initial wave of lockdowns my workload increased a huge amount. I somehow managed to fit in a house purchase from June to September, though I haven't been able to do much with the house because I’ve been working crazy hours for the final months of the year. Downtime on weekends was a distant memory and towards the end of my marathon, sheer will wasn’t enough to carry me through the late nights and early starts - my body did what Dad Pham does when turning off desktop computers - it yanked out the power plug. 

 I’d been fending off a scratchy throat for nearly a month when I crashed hard at the end of November with a virus (not COVID-19, thankfully) and after two weeks of bedridden illness and inactivity my lower back started to play up. I rested it, and stretched it out and when I felt better, I tried to work it at the gym and totally wrecked myself. My back was locked so tightly the physio couldn’t diagnose the issue in my first visit because everywhere hurt. Three physio sessions later, and today I got the green light to ease back into the gym with a few adjustments to my workouts. Yup, in true 2020 form, I’ve spent nearly all of my 10 days of holiday mending my back. Though, it was probably the only way I’d take life easy for a little while so thank you body, you passive-aggressive guardian angel. 

This year hasn’t been a total write-off, however. It’s a blur when I look back but I can see what really matters came to light, and anything unimportant fell by the wayside. 

Boyfriend Pham is the best thing about my year. 2020 would have been unbearable without him. He had my back when I needed his support, and he was tough on me when I wasn’t pushing myself hard enough or pushing myself too hard. I learned that Boyfriend Pham and I get along even when we’re cooped up together 24/7. We had zero doubts about buying a house together - unlike when we first moved out together and paid extra for everything to avoid contracts, and bought furniture separately in case we broke up. He is the Phamly I choose. 

I’m very glad and grateful that I live in the same city as The Phamly. It’s been tough not seeing friends interstate; I can’t fathom how some of my friends handled being isolated from siblings and parents all year. Especially the Sydney pals who had to cancel their Xmas flights at the last minute due to the latest outbreak. 

2020 was the beginning of a new way of life for everyone; the world is a changed place. Going into 2021 I’m not sure of anything except that I have the best support network a girl could wish for. There’s no one I’d rather be facing new challenges with. Bring on, 2021.
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When we were sent home in March, I did not anticipate I’d still be working from home in June with no end in sight. The office is open again, but with a jam-packed open-plan layout, it means only a third of the desks can be used while keeping social distance. I’m one of the ones who can work remotely so I’m still home the majority of the time.

I didn’t enjoy work from home life in a previous role. I got so lonely I started chatting to the spider that lived on my desk, and the two crows that came to perch on the fence. I was also single and didn’t have motivation to take breaks in the evenings, get out of my pyjamas or even shower for that matter. I became quite ill and depressed after six months, and resigned a few months after that.

I am thoroughly enjoying work from home life this time around. After nearly 5 years of long daily commutes, I’m enjoying not wasting hours of my life crawling through traffic. I’ve taken some lessons from my last experience working from home.

This time I make sure I get dressed every day like I would normally for work. In three months, there was one day where I was in gym gear because I did a workout and before I could shower and dress, work exploded in my face. And a second day where I did a morning of meetings in my PJs because I’d slept in, and didn’t get dressed until lunch time.

Work from home gym gear
The gym gear day

I’ve only had a couple of no make up days due to: lazy, but for the most part I’ve been fully dressed and made up. Not that anyone would know. I don’t turn on video chat unless it's one-on-one and the other party uses video, ‘cause then that’s weird for them.

I also have Boyfriend Pham coming home from work every day, which reminds me to clock off and head to the gym or go for a walk so I get a break from the apartment. I had none of these things the first time around, and it got me into bad habits and a bad way. This time I’m feeling happier and now that gyms are open again, healthier too. Here’s hoping that work from home remains an option for Australians after the threat of COVID-19 outbreaks drops away.


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The Xmas Eve feast that cancelled Xmas for the extended Phamly.

The first full week I've had off work all year and, of course, the very first event I go to on my very first day off on Christmas Eve had a relative who tested positive to COVID-19. I am writing you from Day 3 since close contact, Day 2 of isolation because I didn't find out until Christmas night I had to isolate and get tested. Boyfriend Pham and I went to get tested the very next day. Being Boxing Day with all bar a few testing centres open, the queue was hectic. We got to the drive-through testing pop-up just before it was set to open, and it was a 5.5 hour wait from start to nose/brain-poke. We were prepared for the long wait, and brought our books, snacks, and water to keep ourselves from getting stir-crazy inside the car.  But it was still a bit trying in the Brisbane heat and trying not to kill my car's battery with the constand stop/start.

While we wait for test results, we are reliving our daily routines of the original 6-week lockdown. Home quarantine is much more pleasant in a 3-bedroom townhouse with courtyard overlooking luscious green trees, than a 2-bedroom apartment with balcony overlooking a busy street. Still, Boyfriend Pham is one of those people who is constantly doing something and can't be still for too long so the most challenging part of this 4-day quarantine is keeping him busy. [Edited from 7-day to 4-day: Originally thought we had to stay in for the full 7 days and take a second test, but because we weren't seated at the same table at family feast, I only needed one negative test result! Which makes me question the logic of casual contacts testing on day 1 and getting negative results by Day 3 if the incubation period is 4-5 days after exposure. But oh well - it's what the rules say. I'm free!]

Me? I can sit and read or write or death scroll or binge-watch my days away. With him? I need to get up and do morning yoga, coffee and reading on the balcony / cat enclosure. Tidy up the house. Play with the cat. It's nearing lunchtime? Great, time to cook lunch. Half way through the day now. Afternoon is spent doing at least one productive chore - be it, cleaning, baking, study, research, gardening - otherwise Boyfriend Pham will feel his day has been wasted. Play with the cat. YouTube break! Pre-dinner workout in the lounge room, followed by dinner and then it's time to relax on the couch and watch our latest TV show or a movie. Play with the cat. Bedtime. 

Not the relaxing, movie-going, massage-having, good-food outing holiday I had in mind but, such as life, hey?

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My HealthMate tracker bummed me out when it sent me a summary of 2020 stats compared to my 2019 activity. I had a very inactive last year. Lockdown, gym closures and every city dwellers' reality on and off these days.

My body punished me for my inactivity by locking up my lower back. It wasn't a fun way to spend Xmas break but it did force me to pay more attention to my physical health.

Dat Pham (no relation) at Northwest Physio was able to get my back back on track after only a few sessions. Once I had more movement in my body, he gave me a bunch of core strength exercises to make me stronger and more flexible. Basically, he doesn't want to see me much so the best way to do that is to make me fitter.

I've been doing my physio exercises at the gym and less of the deadlifts, squats and other weightlifting exercises I used to focus on solely. Gotta listen to my body more, and it wants more stretch and less strain this year. 



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