My River Island Marley Knot Palm Print bikini from Asos.com arrived in the mail on Saturday - I love giving me presents!

A bikini solves one of my worst beach-going problems - my tiny bladder. My god, this will make going to the toilet every hour so much easier! I know a tankini would have solved this problem years ago but tankinis seem like a bikini cop-out to me so I made it one of my dumb life rules that I fiercely follow to either brave a bikini or suffer through the pain of taking off your entire swimsuit to pee.

It's funny yet sad that at age 28 and size 12 I have the confidence (or the who-gives-a-fuck attitude) to wear a bikini, while 25 year old me, size 10 had a monokini and 22 year old me, size 8 had a one-piece and shorts (side note - I was underweight as a size 8 - not good). I wish it had everything to do with me being an overweight child but I see gorgeous, fit young girls being just as self-conscious as I used to be. It's a cultural disease that infects too many women in Australia. I just hope the girls I see find the confidence to wear what they want sooner than I did.

In the spirit of honesty, I haven't photoshopped this pic (except to put the Phamly name in the corner and crop it to size). You can see my body acne, stretch marks (those ain't pubes on my inner thighs guys), muffin top and the red line across my belly button that Middling niece thinks is an operation scar like hers but is really a permanent belly flab line that was there even when I was underweight.

The River Island bikini fabric's not great (as in tough) quality but the print is just too cute and too me! I bought this bikini for lazing around and casual swims, not for exercise  - I've still got my Funkita sports swimsuit for that. Both top and bottom came in at under $50 total - ridiculously cheap. If only bikini bodies came in the mail within 10 days and for that price too. Sigh, guess I'll just follow the lovely card my old manager gave me and just keep swimming. I've been back in the pool for almost two months now - a couple more months should tighten up some of the slack I copped sitting at a desk for most of 2012.