KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

When I was a teen, Mum Pham took me to get my ears pierced at a pharmacy. They used one of those guns and my ears got terribly infected so I took out the earrings and let the holes close up. It's a shame - Mum was excited for me to wear these cute gold earrings she had from when she was little. I don't know where they are now. I guess she either pawned them or gave them away because I never saw them after that. When I was in my early 20s in Melbourne, I went to Off Ya Tree in the CBD and got my ears pierced with a needle. I bled for a couple of days but my ear holes eventually healed. It was so long ago, I can't remember whether I took forever to heal like I'm doing now.

15 years later, and those ear holes that used to be in the centre of my ear lobe now sat much further down than they did. I don't know whether ear cartilage keeps growing or if it's gravity playing its part (if anyone knows for sure, please shed some light because Dr. Google says it's both myth and fact that your ears and nose keep growing and I don't know what to believe). Either way, my ear lobes are bigger and longer and I didn't like how much empty lobe there was so I decided to get new ear holes.

I went to Unicorn Piercings at Toombul to get stabbed by an eccentric girl who used to work at Off Ya Tree (in Brisbane, not Melbourne). She distracted me with tales of her frozen dead pets and dreams of taxidermy and bone jewellery so I wasn't thinking about her poking holes in my body. I wish I'd thought to ask her if earlobes keep growing or if it's gravity dragging them down. Instead, I asked her why I bleed so much from my ear lobes because this time, again, I instantly started dripping blood. She theorised I had lots of capillaries in my earlobes because they're so "big and squishy."

It's been 6 weeks now and my ears still haven't completely healed. The bleeding stopped after a few weeks, but every now and then I still see a bit of blood in the puss or crusty mucus I clean off. I'm hoping my ear holes will finish healing in another month or so and I can start wearing the cute earrings I've started hoarding. And I hope they last me another 15 years before I feel the desire to poke two more holes in my lobes because they've gotten even longer. 

Since moving house I’ve been working to walk, and walking to work. Everyone thinks that’s great, but most of my friendship circle live in cooler climates where a 15-minute morning walk is not a stuffy, sweaty, burny form of self-torture. I suppose I could drive the 2 minutes to work, but because a colleague remarked that I probably wouldn’t keep up the walks during peak summer heat, I am of course going to keep walking all summer long to spite them.

I’ve been trying to find ways to make it work and a $32 UPF 50 umbrella is the best investment I’ve made towards proving my work colleague wrong. It not only blocks 98% of ultraviolet rays, it also provides shade with its blackout fabric and stops my skin from feeling like it’s burning under my SPF50+ sunscreens. Also, it looks bloody awesome with its silver top, black underside and rose gold frame. I love it.

I still arrive at work a sweaty mess because of the humidity, but I leave a folding fan on my desk to help evaporate the sweat. And I haven’t resorted to this yet, because peak summer heat hasn't hit, but a neighbour and colleague who also walks to work recommends getting an iced coffee to make it better. I will take him up on the icy drink, though mine will likely be iced water in my trusty insulated Contigo travel mug.

Wish me luck with keeping up the walks to work despite my colleague of little faith.

I spent the first day of 2021 visiting some of Boyfriend Pham's family. They moved just a couple hours outside Brisbane at the end of last year, so we went for an overnight stay on New Year's Day. It was Day 8 of my 11-day holiday, but felt like the first day I fully relaxed and enjoyed myself. Ecommerce life, hey?

We spent the day making and eating woodfired pizza, then got walked by their dog, before a night of playing board games all with lots of fun conversation. Seeing friends and hearing stories from outside my little Brisbane bubble is what I missed most from 2020. That, plus the amazing food at the now permanently closed Maria's Caribbean kitchen in Toowong - devastating. 

Being out of my house/Brisbane/regular surrounds let me properly chill out after being in high functioning mode for a lot of last year. It made me nostalgic for travel that we all took for granted, and planted the seed that I need to get out of my regular routine this year. Of course, it's easier said than done. As I write, a friend in Tassie and I were waiting for today's announcement as to whether Brisbane has been removed from Tasmania's naughty list so our Gold Coast getaway can go ahead as planned. And the update was that there'll be another update in 48-hours. But then the convention she was coming up for got canned so we cancelled our catch up. I still kept my annual leave days though, because I need the break.

Making travel plans is a bigger gamble than it used to be, but I'm going to jump at any opportunities that arise year. That, plus we have a $400 flight voucher that expires in October so we should probably use it. Unfortunately, everyone we're close with is a city-dweller and either their city is a hotspot, or their city thinks we're a hotspot. 

Boyfriend Pham and I started house hunting with 5 months left on our rental lease because all but one friend we know has had a horrible time finding a house. We thought we’d be looking for over a year like everyone else. Instead, it took us 2.5 months.

We didn’t know where to start at first. I had resigned to single life, and my single income could afford an apartment at best (or at worst, Dad’s granny flat once he passed). Boyfriend Pham had never even considered home ownership because he used to be part of Australia’s growing casual workforce and the income insecurities that come with some casual roles. Neither of us had considered buying a house. To make it trickier, we worked on opposite sides of Brisbane so any suburb would leave at least one of us with a bad commute. Neither of us grew up in Brisbane so didn't have a sentimental home suburb/area/region either.

So where did we start? With our budget to see what we could comfortably yet uncomfortably afford (we’re risk averse people who steer clear of any sort of debt). With our powers combined, we could (uncomfortably) afford:

• A house with some land very far north or south, and a horrible commute for one or both of us (this was before he changed jobs to a place near my work).
• A really old, run down house inner-city(ish) that would eat all our money in renovations.
• A decent sized townhouse with modest garage ‘cause most affordable townhouses near the city have a garage to house a city car, not a car and workshop.
• A large apartment with no garage space ‘cause modern apartments have car spaces, not lock-up garages.

Realestate.com.au price filters are handy, though their algorithm does sneak in options that are listed as ‘For sale’ without a price but will be $50K-$150K above your price range so watch out for that. If it looks too good to be true, then it is.

We tried to write a list of must-haves but we’re both very relaxed people so were flexible on nearly everything. Our mandatory items were quickly whittled down to:

1. Double garage Large single lock up garage ‘cause Boyfriend Pham is a car guy with lots of garage-filling crap that I call hoarding but he says 'will be useful one day.'
2. Three bedrooms so I could have a study that wasn’t the guest room.
3. Open plan kitchen/living with enough room for Boyfriend Pham’s desk so we could ‘hang out’ while doing our own thing. Very important.
4. Quiet(er) street - we lived on main roads the past 3 years and we wanted to be able to open our windows/doors.
5. No shared walls - added once we realised we didn’t want a house in the ‘burbs and started looking at townhouses.

Fortunately, picking a suburb became easier when Boyfriend Pham changed roles, and his new office is 7 whole minutes from my office. Eventually, we realised we didn’t want a house with land if it meant living in the ‘burbs. We opted for an inner-city townhouse instead.

My advice if you’re starting the house hunting journey is go to look at as many options and suburbs as possible. You’ll quickly find what you like and don’t like, and also decide what you’re willing or not willing to pay extra for. If you are buying in an area you've never been before then rent if you can. 6 month lease is plenty of time to get to know the area. 

It’s hard to be the first person to say ‘I love you,’ which is why I recommend you tell people ‘you love me’ instead. It makes things way easier so long as you’re comfortable coming across like an arrogant jerk.

It works well in situations with your partner. Whenever I do anything annoying to Boyfriend Pham like squeezing his arm non-stop and aggressively because it’s a habit from my childhood to adulthood with Mum Pham’s arms, and he looks exasperated and is about to tell me to stop. I remind him ‘You love me!’ To which he sighs and says in defeated tones, ‘I know.’

I’m not the only arm-obsessive, Little Sissy Pham has the same arm squishing habit I do. You guys don’t understand, Mum Pham’s arms were the best to squeeze affectionately and sometimes aggressively. So satisfying!

‘You love me’ also works well with siblings. I’m constantly reminding Little Sissy Pham that she loves me just in case she forgets, especially while I’m doing my big sister duties and birth right to poke fun at her every chance that I get. Like that time I teased her lisp relentlessly until she learned how to pronounce ‘crocodile’ and ‘smile’ properly. Or that time pigeon-toed me made fun of her funny, out-turned waddle walk until she trained herself to walk with her feet pointed straight ahead. Ah, she loves me.

When I first moved in with Boyfriend Pham he was persistent to the point of being annoying that I keep up with my weekly dinner with the girls. Why was he so desperate to get me out of the house? What was he doing without me? Eating family packs of potato chips? Watching porn? He is supportive of Girls Night because he knows and has dated girls who didn’t have a close-knit friendship with other women so their worlds revolved, a little unhealthily, around their boyfriends.

Girls Night in practicality is a night in at one of our humble abodes where we wear cute Peter Alexander PJs (not me - too lazy to pack PJs), drink wine (except me - too allergic to alcohol), and order-in dinner. Girls Night in actuality is a sanctuary. A place where we feel safe to talk about anything and everything going on in our lives. We support one another whether it’s through sympathising and sharing a similar experience so our friends don’t feel alone in what they’re going through, or giving some tough love and sharing advice we know they won’t want to hear but need to.

There is no such thing as oversharing at Girls Night. We talk about bodily functions, our relationships and dating, growing or failing friendships, our career development and changes at work, our living situations, pets, parents, and family. Whatever is on our minds, gets aired at Girls Night to a room of supportive, loving friends.

While I call mine Girls Night, yours can take any shape or form. It could be a social sport, or nights out on the town, or a book club. If it’s frequent enough to be called a regular thing, then you’ve got yourself a Girls/Boys/Friends Night. A time to look forward to, somewhere to socialise, have fun and share whatever’s going on in your life with people who matter and care.

I've worked in the retail industry long enough to know that supply and demand is a thing. But I don't really acknowledge that popular things are real until they enter my world. Introducing the Contigo Travel Mug.

I used to drive to work with a Keep Cup with hot tea but because it was hot, I couldn’t close the lid lip. It surprisingly only ended in a couple of spills for the year I did that. And then I met Contigo Travel Mugs at Biome.

The clever autoseal lid means no accidental spills; perfect for a klutz like me. Plus, hot drinks stay hot and cold drinks stay cold for hours on end. I learned the hard, tongue-burning way the first time I used my Contigo mug to leave the lid off for a little bit before sealing hot drinks inside.

I also learned the expensive, lid ruining way that you must rinse the lid as soon as you finished drinking your tea or coffee if you use soy milk ‘cause that shit sticks to the spring structure of the autoseal and will eventually ruin the lid after months of regular use. I had to buy me a new Contigo mug, and while I was at it, I got Dad Pham one too so he could have hot coffees by the lake on our Sunday walks.

These days, I have halved my work commute thanks to earlier work hours to avoid peak, peak hours and moving a tad closer to the office. I no longer sip tea for an hour each morning so my contigo mug instead keeps cold water cold for the warm drive to and from work, and for my gym sessions. It’s a fun time. Cannot recommend these mugs enough.

I have a new boy in my life; his name is Marco and he's my first ever brand new car. In case you haven't guessed from his name, this blog post title or the photo, he's a Volkswagen Polo. Named after Marco and Polo - the two crows that used to sit on the fence outside my bedroom / home office and keep me company while I worked from home and went stir crazy and started conversing with crows.

I've only ever driven second hand cars, and until the latest Getz all of them were bombs that Mum Pham and Dad Pham scrimped and saved to buy. Us Phamlings shared the cars because neither of our parents can drive. It was, how you say, the pits. Mum and Dad did so much to try and provide for us with the little they had. I wish Mum could see me now. I can afford a fancy European car that was Made in Germany like me!

I went with a VW Polo after my partner recommended it, and we rode in the back of his friend's GTI where I learned they've updated the chassis so it's not boxy and cramped like older models. It was the first car I test drove and the only one I test drove because I fell in instant love. Polos are a dream to drive. Everything is so well-made and has a luxe feel without the price tag. The Germans sure know good, efficient design. It is hands-down the best quality, small car in its price range ($19,999-$24,999 for the trendline with a few extras).

My Marco is so shiny, and new, and has so much tech that I was intimidated by him for the first couple of weeks until I finished reading the 400 page manual, of which, half wasn't relevant to my Marco because I got the basic, trendline model (still very fancy) but not feature packed liked the upgrades. Even so, after reading more information than I needed to, I understood Marco's tech isn't there to judge me for bad driving, it's there to assist me and keep me safe.

Except: I wish I didn't have him measuring me because I am obsessed with good stats (hence, fitness tracker life). I avoid zoomies in Marco even though he's so very fast to accelerate with his 1.0L Turbo engine. Gotta keep my eco stats high to stay fuel efficient! And that means accelerating steadily. Sigh. I refuse to use the stop/start engine; I know it's an eco feature to save fuel but I don't like the slight delay in accelerating and the jerk it adds to starting the car. Plus, I can't imagine it's good for the battery to stop/start so often in peak hour traffic.

I learned this year that I don't hate the gym; I just never knew how to use them for my benefit so I thought they weren't for me.

My boyfriend introduced me to gym life again earlier this year. However, he had no idea how to dumb his workouts down enough for me, an office pleb who did swimming and beginner dance to remain on the outskirts of unfit. After the first sessions with Boyfriend I couldn't walk properly for a week, so he introduced me to his friend and trainer, Elliot Burton who runs Physique Academy. He's based in Perth but does online training as well as in-person training.

Who knew Personal Trainers can show you how to make the most of a workout? Not me! My first, last, and only experience with a PT had been at a Snap Fitness and the chick didn't read her audience right. I woke up with a crook neck and couldn't go back to the gym for two and a half weeks, and Little Sissy Pham could barely walk. Never again! I said.

Then I started doing personalised Physique Academy workouts this year. Elliot eased me in with his personalised program, getting me used to the movements, and using muscles I didn't know I have. Physique Academy is based in Perth so my training is managed remotely. I have a training sheet to follow, and whenever I don't know how to do something I can hit up the Physique Academy Facebook group and Elliot will post a video demonstrating and explaining the move.

Now I gym more than my significant other. Sure, he plays basketball and does basketball training sessions that would probably make me vomit and pass out, but I go to the gym more so I win this round! This is the strongest I've ever been. in my day to day life things that used to be cumbersome like refilling the water cooler are now easy. Instead of awkwardly carrying/hugging one bottle, I carry one in each hand up the mother effen stairs. Little Sissy Pham looks at me legs, and exclaims "Whoa you're so tough now."

I've been sick for 6 weeks - run down from juggling work, house move, car hunt, and then Dad Pham had a hospital scare (he's fine, just a dizzy spell). But I'm back in the gym now and it's the best time.

If you've ever felt like me and thought gym isn't for you, it might be the workouts you're doing are not for you. Hit up a professional. I, of course, recommend Physique Academy. He knew how to ease this frumpy office potato into gym life.

Let's talk about balls. Massage balls in cars, specifically.

The great thing about dating someone whose family is very different to the people I know is I get exposed to new ideas. One night while a relative from New Zealand was in town, we went over to their motel for burger dinner. They were in Brisbane for a track & field event (yeah, I know - no way would we have crossed paths if my boyfriend wasn't a relation) and for half the night they talked about work in the sports field.

The dad demonstrated different deep muscle stretches on the kids who were staying in another room but came over for dinner. I thought they were awkward because they are teens for a start, and then teens being bent every which way in front of strangers. It wasn't until after we'd left that I learned those weren't their kids. They were traveling together for the track & field event but the couple's own kids were back in New Zealand. That would explain why the kids were extra awkward being massaged in front of total strangers.

Anyway, during the night I learned that you can sit and lean on massage balls while you're driving. Mind blown. I hadn't thought to do muscle work while driving but it makes total sense. I've been driving with one for nearly a year now, and it's the best thing ever. I arrive at work more awake because I've stimulated blood flow. And then I arrive at home feeling relaxed because I've worked out the knots from sitting and standing at a computer all day long.

I'm passing on this good advice from my boyfriend's people-bending relatives. They know what's what. I have a spiky ball so sometimes when I get over enthusiastic it looks like someone's beaten me with a meat hammer on the back, but a smooth massage ball or tennis ball will work just as well, and probably leave less damage if you go too hard.

I used to dress like a toddler's dream in glittery rainbow unicorn everything. Anything bright, colourful and shiny that caught my eye would join my wardrobe. Essentially, I dressed like I was destined to visit the Unicorn Store, and sometimes I still do but usually only on weekends. Last year my preferences changed so I went through a movie maker to make my colours less crazy, and more subtle.

After 30+ years on earth I wanted to dress more my age in the office. I mean, they say to dress the part and my part is no longer new kid on the block, I'm in a senior role because I got old and gained experience. Suddenly I'm in a position where I don't feel comfortable wearing short Garfield dresses or fruity tops and bottoms or fruit in general to work.

This change was also spurred by watching my boyfriend go to a new job looking sharp in dress pants and a button-up every day. There's something nice about looking smart. Then when he got a work uniform, seeing him come home and change into his casual clothes to relax was also very appealing. I haven't really had that separation between work me and home me for most of my life because I've worked in street fashion and music where casual clothes is the uniform. Most people probably wish they could be more themselves at work. Me? I wish I was less homely at work.

These days I've added clean lines, simpler patterns, and solid colours to my work wardrobe. I found a nicely cut, plain dress that I bought in three colourways that I call my 'work uniform.' And have some mix and match tops and skirts so I don't always wear the same outfit to work. I still get the urge to buy bright colours, clashing prints and crazy patterns but when I do, I remind myself I barely wear my current unicorn clothes anymore. Movie makeovers don't happen overnight but they do happen. For me, it took about 6 months to slowly gather work wardrobe staples until one day I realised I hadn't dressed like a kid at work in weeks. Look at me... finally growing up.

I'm a feminist but I bought lipstick that doesn't transfer because my boyfriend told me to. Well, he told me about them after yet another smooch left us both looking like clowns.

I didn't really have a need for lip colour that won't budge before now because you don't smooch much when you're single and failing at online dating. Also, I only got into bold lips since I traveled Europe and saw so many glamourous ladies walking along cobbled streets in their heels in chic outfits and perfect make up. And I thought to myself, there's no way in hell I'll wear heels every day, but makeup I can do.

Stila Stay All Day Liquid Lipstick is the bomb. The pigments are gorgeous and the colour stays put during my morning coffee, Voost, and protein shake. For darker shades like Vino I always reapply after lunch because I find just touching up can look splotchy. For lighter shades like my go-to nude FIA, sometimes I get away with not reapplying all day - and only need a touch up if my lunch is greasy.

I find the matte formula drying, and I wish it didn't accentuate the wrinkles in my lips, but I still love the overall look of matte colour. If anyone knows of matte lippy that doesn't dry your lips or transfer colour please hit this sister up.

I've only tried one brand so far so can't give you a comparison, but I bought a set of six minis in a limited edition gift set over Xmas. I work in a fashion office with trendy kids who live and breathe fashion, and they always compliment every new Stila lip shade I try. It's just a very flattering range.

Once upon a time the FitBit Charge ruled my life. After a couple of years the rubber band crumbled and was too warped to charge so I stopped the fitness tracking thing. Then last year when I started up my walking again, I looked for a fitness tracker that did all the things I wished my Fitbit would do.

My wish list looked something like this:

• Doesn't look like a fitness tracker.
• Or a chunky sports watch.
• Easy to charge.
• Long lasting battery.
• Replaceable wristband.
• Progress indicator so I don't waste time pushing buttons and wasting battery to see how I am tracking.
• Simple app.
• Syncs with Google Fit.
• Sleek minimalist design so it won't age poorly.
• Small enough for my delicate (scrawny) wrists.

I'm not asking for much, right? While I was wowed and distracted by the shiny designs of Michael Kors, Kate Spade and Guess hybrid smartwatches; the tech and specs didn't meet my selection criteria. Only one watch did and I didn't even know it existed until I researched the crap out of hybrid watches: the Nokia Steel HR (same watch as the Withings Steel HR but with a different logo on the face).

Sleek design - I bought the Black/Black version because I like how the digital screen and the daily progress indicator look like regular watch dials until you look closer. I have the smaller 36mm face for my tiny wrists.

Wristband - It came with a nice matte rubber band that I thought I'd replace but instead have kept it because it looks really nice, and not cheap like other rubber bands I've seen.


Easy to charge, long lasting battery - I opted for the HR version not because I wanted heart rate monitor, though it's a bonus, but I wanted a rechargeable watch. My Steel HR lasts about 3-4 weeks depending on how much activity I track on it - ping pong, weights, walks, runs (jogs, really), dance. The battery charges super fast and it gives me plenty of warnings via light vibrations so I know it put it on charge when I get to couch at home one night. You just lay the watch on top of the charger so no issues or awkward angles to plug a chord into the back of the watch like with my old FitBit.

Simple app - The watch uses Nokia's HealthMate app, which took little configuration to set up how I wanted it. And the data usually syncs to Google Fit without an issue. It doesn't sync heart rate info however so if that's a deal-breaker for you then this watch is no-go.

Notifications - I don't use this because for a logical reason I can't fathom, the watch only alerts me when my phone is on do not disturb, and not when it's on silent. But when my phone is on do not disturb, it means I don't want to be disturbed.

Sleep tracking - it was cool for the first few days until I developed a rash and boyfriend said what's the point of sleep data anyway if I don't use it to better my sleep. So I stopped wearing it at night because the sweat rash I get is real gross, itchy and painful.

Water resistant - You can wear this in the pool to track swims but if course I moved into the one Brisbane suburb whose public pool closed down so I don't use this feature.

I love my little watch and have an epic watch tan to prove it. I highly recommend it to anyone who wants a reliable, easy to use hybrid watch.

I was an Elle McPherson Intimate Collections fan for the longest time. Things changed when they rebranded with Heidi Klum and the materials and construction lost their quality feel, while the price tag stayed the same. Once I wore my Elle McPherson to death, it was time to find a new favourite.

I don't know any women who enjoy bra shopping. It's always a gamble taking bras into a change room because what looks cute and comfy (rare combo for me) instead pinches in places you forget you have nerves or has room enough in the cup to store multiple socks and maybe a kitten. It took weeks of bra-testing across too many stores in all of the malls before I found my match: the Pleasure State My Fit OMB Super Boost push-push up bras.

I am small-boobed and wear a push up bra that doesn't so much push up as it helps me fill the cup so it doesn't look like I'm a kid playing costume in my mum's bras. The Pleasure State My Fit OMB super boost cup is lined with suede which is soft and comfortable, and the shape holds you in nicely without leaving a cavern between where your boob meets the cup edge. I have, of course, bought multiple quantities in multiple colourways - black, nude, white, blue, grey and red. I'm also eyeing the green, pink and purple. So many options!

Dad Pham used Little Sissy Pham's old, pink Motorola flip phone and would never have changed phones if it weren't for the whole 2G network becoming obsolete. For some reason (laziness) I left it to Little Sissy, the least techie of the three Pham siblings, to find Dad's next phone. She got Dad an Aspera F24 Seniors Big Button Flip Phone. The phone says it's for seniors but Dad found the user interface counterintuitive and the sound too quiet for his failing hearing. Dad struggled with it for nearly a year thinking his troubles with the phone were his failing to adopt new technology, but really the new technology was failing him. When he remembered how to turn on loudspeaker, the sound was fuzzy and hard to hear. Finally, he gave up and let us get him a new phone.

Round 2 started with Little Sis calling me an idiot for letting her choose Dad's phone and I should have done it. She's right. This time I went on the hunt for a seniors friendly phone that was intuitive, easy to use, and LOUD. I found the Olitech Easy Mate+ phone via intensive googling and research. There aren't too many phones for Seniors on the market and most seemed too much like the dudAspera F24. The Olitech Easy Mate+, however, is designed and produced by people who have worked in occupational therapy, and orthotics and prosthetics so they understand the accessibility challenges of technology for people who are less able-bodied.

Unfortunately, no big tech stores seem to have picked up this handset so I couldn't have a look at it in person before buying. Instead, I took a punt and ordered the phone direct from Olitech online. Worth it.

Dad loves his new phone and I do too. These days I can clearly hear Dad squirming to hang up on me. He's not a big talker so our calls are always super efficient and all about agreeing on logistics for Phamly plans, and occasionally an appointment or social event he needs one of us to taxi him to.

The sound quality on the Olitech Easy Mate+ is clear and loud. The buttons are nice and big. The user interface is easy to use because it's intuitive and logical. I only had to show Dad how to do things once and he got the hang of it. It's well thought out and designed. I cannot recommend this phone enough to seniors who just want a phone they can use to make calls and text.

I tried not to get my hopes up in case I was disappointed, but with the many glowing reviews from the American premiere by the time Australia's opening night came around I was stupidly excited to see a Hollywood romcom featuring Asian actors from around the world. The anticipation was killing me. So soon after I discover the magic of To All The Boys I've Loved Before and my newly acknowledged need for representation, my little heart could barely handle the excitement.

Now normally I'm disappointed when a movie session I planned to see is SOLD OUT but when I rocked up early and saw there were no tickets left I was ecstatic. The movie is popular! The girls and I booked ahead at the nearest cinema (we'd learned our lesson), scoffed some dinner then hurried over to the nearest cinema where we laughed and teared up (of course, I cried) with the rest of the audience.

One viewer whistled in appreciation when a male character stepped out of the shower. The first of many delightful shirtless scenes where an Asian male was depicted as sexy and desirable instead of the usual unappealing dork. It was refreshing to see Asian actors play well-written characters that had depth. You understood their motivations and actions so could connect with them. There was no tokenism or cheap jokes that relied solely on stereotypes.

Crazy Rich Asians is at the heart of it a really good romantic comedy. Don't go into the film feeling you have to be crazy, rich or asian to enjoy it. It's a love story that's visually stunning because a lot of the film is in Singapore and not the Western cities we are used to seeing in Hollywood films.

I cried so hard watching To All The Boys I've Loved Before on Netflix this week, a film based on the book by Jenny Han, which I haven't read yet but the trilogy is now on my to-read list.

I was embarrassed because it's such a sweet and funny TEEN movie so I didn't understand my feels. Why so emotional about a cute teen coming of age story? That night I went to bed still thinking about the film. The next morning I rewatched it because I'd enjoyed it so much the first time and also to see if I could figure out what about it intrigued me so.

I related to a film that had close to zero resemblance to any part of my life as a frumpy, grumpy, anti-social teenager. If anything, adult me is more like the lead character - I'm sensible yet emotionally naive and found myself in a 'second best / fake best' situation with a boy. But that's not why I loved the film so much.

As a tween I used to obsessively write fictional stories with teen girls as the lead characters. I have no idea if they were any good and they are all long gone because I wrote them on a typewriter and those pieces of paper were probably trashed by Dad Pham. He always threw out our homework as kids. I never realised until now that all of my fictional characters were white. That was all I read in books as a kid, that was all I knew. Representation is so important.

Watching To All The Boys I've Loved Before, I cried for younger me who would have admired and adored an Asian-American character like Lara Jean. I cried for what I missed out growing up, that feeling of belonging and acceptance. I cried because younger generations like my nieces will have books and films like this and realise they have a place in this world. They are not 'other', they are not invisible. I am so grateful to Jenny Han and Netflix and Lana Condor (who has Vietnamese heritage - woo)! Fingers crossed the other books in this series get adapted for film.

I'm going to see the movie Crazy Rich Asians on opening night with my (Not So) Single Ladies Valentine's Day Birthday posse. Wish me luck. I bet I'm going to cry like a baby.