KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

I kept handwritten journals from primary school through to university. In the past decade or so I’ve lost the good habit. I rarely sit down without technology - my laptop or my phone, so I decided to digitise my journal and see if that worked. It did. I created a Gmail account that I email every 1-3 days with my latest news, thoughts and meanderings. It mostly acts as a log of my mediocre life, but every now and then it’s good to vent privately about the state of something in my life or the world, or anything really.

Even though I have this blog - which is also like a weblog of my life, I still want to keep a diary of my (im)proper private thoughts because not everyone needs to know I ate breakfast in the courtyard so I could spend quality time with my plants…and the PokéStop next door. Or that I’m constipated from eating potato chips for dinner for half the week. No, really, I am that interesting I want to record every useless thought I have. But I know it’s not for everyone so I'm doing the internet a kindness and keeping a private journal.

The perks of a digital diary means I can easily search for things if I want to recall an event without manually trawling through a dozen thick A4 books to try and find a bit of information. It took me 30 minutes to figure out how old our cat was when the Vet asked her age - a quick Gmail search would have pulled it up in seconds. It’s also handy not traveling with a book. I used to write in my journal a lot when I went on holidays away - the quiet time at night not in my own home was perfect for focussed writing, but that required forethought and packing my diary in the first place. Now I can simply email my diary from my phone any time, anywhere.

For anyone wanting to keep a journal but never quite getting started or if you have a journal and dropped off because you never seem to have time to sit down and write your thoughts, I highly recommend digitising your entries. If you’re on the internet often, it makes sense to email your entries to/from an exclusive address instead of finding time to sit down with a notebook and handwriting the story of your life. You can also attach photos and videos to keep a visual diary of your memories too. I love it.

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Pic from @thestreetsbarber

My acts of Other People's Happiness are usually small things to brighten up some one’s day. They're often temporary bursts of happy, not lasting effects on someone's life. I recently learned one of my small gestures made a difference when I finally met the stranger I’d helped years ago.

This year a project I was working on called for young, inspirational Australian talent. I couldn't think of anyone better than Nasir Sobhani, The Streets Barber, who gives free haircuts to the homeless on his days off from work. It had been years since we'd been in touch, but when I contacted him he was happy to take part.

On the day he flew to Brisbane, I'd considered going on-set to say hi but didn't want to crowd the team so decided to leave them be. A colleague at the shoot told me Nasir wanted to meet me and thank me in person so I made the trek over. I'm so glad I did because I learned how he's gotten his life into an amazing place the past few years.

When I introduced myself, Nasir gave me a big hug and told me he wouldn't have done this project if it wasn't me who had asked. He said yes because he wanted to return my good karma from way back when. My heart nearly burst when he told me. What a kind soul! He flew interstate and gave up his day for me because of one small act years back.

Years earlier I'd reached out to a stranger whose inspirational story moved me to take what little action I could. I was watching The Project on TV when they interviewed a young man who was recovering from addiction, trying to get his life together and walking the streets of Melbourne giving free haircuts to the homeless so that they could have a clean start like he did. He was also looking for paid barber work.

I found his contact details on Instagram and asked if he'd like an introduction to my former employer, who had a barbershop in their store. It was the only thing I could think to do. I couldn't guarantee a job but it was worth a shot. Would you believe it was Nasir's dream to work there? He, being super talented and humble, of course got the job and that's where our story ended. Until recently.

At the shoot, I learned that Nasir finished his studies, and the work experience he got with my old employer helped him get sponsored by another barbershop so he could stay in Australia (speaking of, this Canadian has just been nominated for the 2017 Australian Of The Year Award). Wow! I love when life gives back to good people who do so much for others. Nasir told me he's got exciting things on the horizon that will spread the love and good karma even further than he ever imagined. If you want to follow his journey like I do, check out his Instagram @thestreetsbarber. His posts serve as a reminder that there are good people in the world doing good things, inspiring others to do the same. I feel blessed to have played a small part in his journey, and can't wait to see what this remarkable human does next.

"We may know who we are or we may not. We may be Muslims, Jews or Christians but until our hearts become the mould for every heart we will see only our differences" - Rumi #thestreetsbarber #cleancutcleanstart

A post shared by Nasir Sobhani (@thestreetsbarber) on Dec 25, 2016 at 10:27pm PST

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Aside from Tetris, I am terrible at playing games whether it's arcade games at Netherworld, any console ever invented or Crossy Roads - how does my 11 year old niece beat me? How? I am equally bad at playing games in the dating world - I take people at their word because I say what I mean, I mean what I say and I expect the same in return.

I forget that society doesn't encourage most humans to function this way. I was raised by the very open-minded Dad Pham and an unconditional loving Mum Pham; both were supportive of my many baffling life decisions so I was never afraid to speak my mind or follow my head, heart and instincts. I knew my parents would have my back whether they liked it or not, so I never had to hide things, which means I never learned how to be shady. Recently, I had to check my privilege and remember that some people aren't so lucky.

I'm always shocked when a Tinder guy asks me out, then specifies that 'if things go well' he wants me to sneak into his house, be discreet, take myself out of the space-time continuum while he has his way with me, then step back into reality and sneak out under my invisibility cloak. I simply say, 'No thanks, I don't want to go anywhere I'm not welcome.' He then chucks a tanty (they all do) and tells me it's my loss. I'm guessing these guys live at home, and don't want their parents knowing they have a sex life because societal/religious hang ups, but I cannot fathom having to sneak around in another person's home because I've never had to sneak around my own home. Life is so much simpler and fun when you can be yourself.

My naive belief that everyone is being themselves is how I get fooled by boys all the time. Like this one time I dated someone else's boyfriend. Or most recently when Rogue Fun turned No Fun because he said a lot of things he didn't mean and I got hurt when they turned out to be untrue. New dating advice I've given myself: take a step back and watch what he does, not what he says. It's easy to say things, and much harder to do them.

Failing that, I will use my friends as filters. They did not approve of both The Cheater and No Fun very early on in the game. I'm going to use my friend's bullshit detectors to aid my future attempts at dating since my one keeps malfunctioning. You can't blame me though, I'm a pretty marvellous specimen so it's easy to trust a guy when he says he likes me, but I really must stop believing my own hype.

I'm going to take a little break from trying to emotionally and intellectually connect to other human beings - it's too confusing, and hurts my feelings and insults my brain when people aren't upfront. I need a moment to reset my compass before I try to navigate this maze again. Til next time, let's end on a positive note. Don't believe the hype from guys who want to encourage your crush to boost their ego, but do believe in the kind words of strangers who have nothing to gain from wishing you well:

I'mma keep my head up. Thanks Craig.

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KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

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