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One thing I've learned transitioning from a small business where it's usually me and the owner then maybe another colleague or two to medium and corporate offices is that shared spaces with five colleagues and more is never a good time. There are always the clean freaks, the careless and the adult kids whose parents never taught them any better. Put the spectrum in one space and sparks, in the form of passive aggressive signs, fly to no avail.

Don't get me wrong. I'm on the passive aggressors' side. Clean up after yourself, follow Dan Savage's relationship advice - leave the campsite better than you found it... There shouldn't be the need to put up signs instructing people to be decent human beings. Why am I picking old banana peels and plastic bags out of the recycling bin when someone put up a sign that explicitly explains what can and cannot be recycled? Ew!

One of my favourite signs in the office though is in the toilet cubicle. There's a not so secret war against whoever is not replacing the toilet paper roll. Something about the sign combined with the toilet paper brand name 'Who Gives A Crap' gives me the giggles. Clearly the culprit does not give a crap when they take a crap. Not knowingly at least.

The culprit is still wiping right by wiping at all because the more toilet paper we use, the more Who Gives A Crap can contribute to building toilets for the less fortunate. We take toilets and toilet paper for granted in Australia but it's crucial for hygiene and health.

Work uses the regular Who Gives A Crap toilet paper but I am a Premium subscriber because I want only the best for my bum cheeks given the choice. The subscription is 100% flexible - you can log in online and change the next delivery date if you have too little or too many toilet rolls left. They come in boxes of 48 so prepare to store a big box of toilet rolls. I build a pyramid next to my bed currently but when I move to my own place this weekend I'm going to stake a spot and claim if for Who Gives A Crap toilet paper storage. I also use their facial tissues. I tried the paper towel but it's not very absorbent so I haven't ordered more. The delivery service is super quick and free to metro areas. Plus, their customer service team is excellent - I've canceled subscriptions before to change my order and both times I contacted them, they were quick to respond, helpful and stupidly friendly. These people give a crap and so should you.

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So, I've been keeping a secret. I'm dating someone. I've been seeing him for a while but kept it offline because we met at work and were avoiding some inconvenient office politics. The good news is, he's since left the company so I can write about him. He's great - he's funny, smart, and my friends' favourite part is he's upfront and honest (unlike previous people in my life). A bit too honest. Which is why at 34, I learned that I don't know how to chew and breathe at the same time. I am a mouth breather when I eat. Little Sissy Pham backed him up enthusiastically saying I am so loud when I chew.

We were listing things we found annoying about one another because that's totally healthy. We couldn't think of anything really so we picked petty little things we don't really mind. My two annoying yet tolerable traits are I don't push in the chair at the dining table, which I've since started doing and I chew loudly with my mouth open, which I can't figure out how to do quietly.

I have a persistent stuffy nose because I'm allergic to life. My hay fever is nowhere near as bad as it used to be in Melbourne, my eyes aren't red and sore most of the time but my nose lives in two states - runny or clogged, never clear. So while I can't chew with my mouth closed all the time like a regular a person, I can suffer through it until I run out of breath then try not to suck in air too noisily before I begin chewing again. My attempts have been very poor, according to him... but at least I try or, think about trying. Some of the time.

Such is my life right now. But hey, we're all learning and growing every day, right?

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It's Phamly tradition to sleepover at Dad Pham's house for the Eurovision finale. This year it happened to be Dad's birthday weekend so it was double the fun. On Saturday, he invited his siblings over for lunch and Little Sissy Pham and I made Vietnamese Pancakes - it's the only recipe I've ever posted on this blog because writing recipes is too much like my day job and blog writing is self indulgent fun. For 70 and 80 year olds, they sure know how to party. My Aunty rocked up with more beer than she could carry. Lunching, drinking and chats went for 4+ hours - Little Sis bowed out and went home before any of the elder folk. Dad Pham was exhausted by the time everyone left but he had a blast because it's rare for him to see his siblings all together.

After lunch, I sat with Dad for a couple of hours just chatting. It's been a long time since I've had proper downtime with Dad. Mostly we grocery shop, and cook so our hangs are chore driven. I'll save his stories from today for another time.

That night, I made more pancakes for Big Brother Pham and Sister Not-in-Law. It was a fun time. I was so pooped after a whole day of cooking and hosting, I feel asleep early that night. I slept in the lounge room because Big Brother Pham's tools have taken over what was once my bedroom. Guess that's what happens when you leave home, your room becomes storage.

The next morning I awoke to Dad Pham beaming down at me at 4.40am. He woke me up early because he expected to have to come back and wake me up again like he usually does. But this time, I popped right up - went and made a coffee and set up snacks on the coffee table. Then we settled in for 3.5 hours of Eurovision glory.

This year was not a disappointment. The majority of the songs were decent tunes and we couldn't pick who the top songs would be. Australia totally tanked this year - the novelty of having Australia in the competition is gone and while Jessica Mauboy's song was good, it didn't stand out against the stiff competition. I didn't love the winning song - I thought it was different and quirky, but so ridiculous. I guess that's Eurovision for you, though. Here are my highlights from this year.

Dad's top pick was Sweden's Benjamin Ingrosso with "Dance You Off":




I thoroughly enjoyed good old fashioned power pop from Lea Sirk from Slovenia with "Hvala, ne!" but it's way to cool to actually win Eurovision:



This is the type of crazy that wins Eurovision - Netta with "Toy" took out the gong for Israel:




It's rare I like the French entry but this year they were all class with Madame Monsieur "Mercy":



Finally, I have a thing for Vikings so Denmark make my highlights list. Oh, hellooo Rasmussen with "Higher Ground":





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I don't remember leaving Germany. I don't remember the flights to Singapore then Brisbane. But I do remember the very first time Brisbane's heavy, humidity hit me in my chubby little face because it felt like a clinically obese cat had pounced on my chest and I suddenly had trouble breathing when I stepped out of the plane. I stood there gasping in air until Dad Pham lead me down the steps onto the tarmac. After the initial shock, I was fine. Well, for now. We went inside and met Dad's eagerly waiting Phamly.

Dad Pham tells me they took us back to our new rental home on Wedgetail Street in Inala, around the corner from where Dad lives now. I don't remember the ride back from the airport though.

My next memory of Australia is crying alone on a sofa. I had been crying for a long time so the adults had left me alone because I was inconsolable and everything else they had tried only made me cry harder. Dad and Mum Pham don't know why I was crying so hard. I was only 4 years old and couldn't possibly understand what was going on. Maybe part of me knew everything was different now.

I remember my cousin came out to offer me a bag of peanut m&ms. I took them and ate them - still sobbing. I fell asleep on the couch exhausted hugging the bag of chocolates, and so began my love affair with my favourite, guilty pleasure comfort food. Peanut m&ms is how I cope with all life trauma now. Except for watching A Quiet Place. Boy-oh, did I regret bringing a loud snack into the cinema - oh how I longed to munch on them to cope with the stress of living the brilliant story, but I couldn't because the cinema was dead silent.



- THE END -

If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more
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I've been dying my hair black since my early 20s. I don't know what I was missing in my diet or if it was all the stress of being zen but I've had grey hairs for as long as I can remember. That said, I have a terrible memory and can't remember much about most things including university even though I'm still paying off that debt - good one, brain, you waste of money; high school; and childhood. I do remember having grey hairs in early high school though so I may have had them in primary school and only noticed once I hit puberty and self-consciousness in high school.

I used to have bright red hair back in the day which was a high cost, high maintenance time in my life. These days I dye my own hair using a supermarket dye because black is easy peasy; it's an all over even colour, and very low maintenance.

I swim 2-3 times each week and chlorine dries my hair out something awful so I need a hair dye that is gentle enough not to wreak havoc on my already damaged head. Schwarzkopf Perfect Mousse is the gentlest permanent dye I've found. I've been using the black 1-0 shade every 5-6 weeks for years and have had no issues with it. I am a messy person due to clumsiness so I have accidentally dyed things that aren't my hair using regular dye pastes. The foam is super easy to apply and manage, and if you do manage to get it somewhere it's not supposed to be (like a bathroom wall) because it's gentle, you have time to wash it away without staining.

Chemist Warehouse has them for $8.99 ($6 less than the RRP). Bargain!
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Uncle 10 on mum's side moved to Melbourne, Australia from Germany before we did, and told Mum and Dad Pham that in Australia they have plenty of Vietnamese foods in comparison to Germany, which had next to none at the time. Our cousin benefited from this gap in the marketing, she opened up a highly successful Asian grocer in a small town in Germany. It's the only place you can get Asian food items in the area.

Mum and Dad were sold when they heard that Australia was warm enough to grow many of the herbs, fruits and vegetables from back home. They decided to migrate to Australia...because food. There was one catch. Mum's weight meant she didn't pass the medical requirements and Australia wouldn't accept their application because health concerns - they didn't want her to be a burden on the system. Boy oh, they didn't realise Dad Pham was a bigger concern there. More on that at a later date.

Mum Pham blames me for getting fat. When she was pregnant with me all she wanted to eat was pho. All that delicious soupy noodle made her bloated, and then getting pregnant again less than two months later with Little Sissy Pham didn't help. In order to apply to migrate to Australia, Mum needed to drop over 15kg. On a scale of stroll in the markets to fleeing a war torn country, losing weight was on the easier side.

She began by eating nothing but salads, and I vaguely remember making her laugh by laying down to do leg-ups with her. My fat baby gut must have looked hilarious trying to do core exercises. Mum Pham worked her ass off within weeks and went back to get her medical approved. In case you're wondering how this story ends, I'm sitting on a couch in Brisbane, Australia as I write feeling guilty that I can't lose and keep 5kg off to stay in a healthy weight range, while Mum Pham tortured herself with lettuce meals morning, noon and night to get fit enough to move her Phamly to the other side of the world.

I am always so grateful to her for all the things she did for us. I honour this by stuffing my face stupid on all the glorious Vietnamese foods in Inala where I take Dad Pham shopping every weekend. We cook mostly Vietnamese food for Phamly dinner too. Mum would be proud.



- THE END -

If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more
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I was sad to bid goodbye to Corny Chips last year, and devastated to farewell my work bestie soon after. I farewelled another colleague a few weeks ago, and another one just today at lunch with two more long-termers bowing out in the next few weeks. I realise I've never really stuck around any workplace long enough to farewell more than one person, or worked in a company big enough to have such a high turnover rate. It's sad to see good people go. It's much easier when you're the one leaving for exciting new things, not left behind to miss everyone. There's only been one person who I've been happy to say goodbye to (for now).

Rachel Burke of Apomogy, Tinsel Town and @imakestagram fame. This ray of sunshine brought such positive and proactive vibes to the office every day. I'm not even mad at her for leaving to pursue her creative dreams full-time because it means she can share more happiness with the world. Rachel makes every day life more vibrant and fun and creative with her larger than life vision. Since stepping out on her own she's released a new collection of apparel, did a pop up studio at a shopping mall, and also making custom orders for celebrities and artists around the world. Amazing!

To honour Rachel on her last day in the office I dressed up in a special jacket she gifted me at her Tinsel Town art exhibition, and glittered up my face because fabulous is the only way to look and feel in a Rachel Burke creation. I couldn't happier for this crazy talented lady. Her happiness leads to Other People's Happiness. It's a wonderful thing. I can't wait to see what she gets up to next. Follow Rachel Burke in her creative world at @imakestagram - it's a good time.


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Besides things like family and a handful of friends, the next longest relationship I've had in my life is with iPhones. I made the switch from Android to Apple back in 2011, and never thought I'd come back but here I am.

World, meet my new long-term potential, the OnePlus 5t. I wouldn't know this phone existed except work filed me under nerd and sat me with the IT & Development teams so I'm surrounded by tech heads - all of whom now have a OnePlus 5 or 5t phone. They tell me it's the amalgamation of features the premium phones like Samsung, iPhone and Google but at about half the price. I got the pimped up OnePlus 5t with 8GB RAM and 128GB storage on sale for AU$750.

I wish I'd move back to Android sooner. So much freedom, more functionality and better user experience all around. Guess that's what comes of giving developers more freedom. There is risk with open-source platforms where anyone can make anything so I keep to the trusted apps from mainstream, well-known companies.

I should have had ditched iPhone after my 4 because the 6 Plus was disappointing. The camera is awful - it's so bad that when I compared it to my sister's iPhone 6, I thought mine was broken so I brought it back to Apple who said no, the pixelated grainy image is the camera working normally. The OnePlus camera is crispy as and handles low light situations so well. You'll see the difference on my blog photos in coming months. The selfie is the front-facing camera. The cat photo below is main camera. Crispy!

The only downside of my OnePlus is no one will replace my handset if something goes awry because I got it online from GearBest (China). But if you don't want to risk it to save a few hundred bucks, you can get it locally from Kogan.com. Go forth and OnePlus!


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You should totally try ballet if you want to ache all over, all the time. Oh god, why does it hurt so much? I exaggerate. It's been over 2 months of classes now with Queensland Ballet and my body is handling ballet better. In fact, I feel stronger, and have used my new knowledge of how my muscles work to improve my swimming technique. Bi-winning!

But boy-oh, the first week back in ballet, everything hurt SO much. I did the free trial class at the start of the year to see if I could get to class on time coming from work. And also to see if my old, inactive, inflexible joints could handle it. My thighs, my butt, my hips, my core (who knew I had a core?), my arms - it hurt to sit, stand, and move. I could barely think without flinching the next day after class, but I knew that was a good thing so I' enrolled in the 8 week Ballet Basics course, and now I take casual beginner ballet classes throughout the week.

Ballet is great for strengthening muscles, posture, wearing high heels and in my case, helping with my pigeon toe situation (though nothing will help the fact my hip is wonky making my left leg longer than my right). It seems like a gentle exercise and I suppose it is compared to impact sports like boxing, but it's a lot tougher than you'd imagine to keep control of all your muscles. I still ache after every class, though it's more developmental pain now and less these-muscles-have-never-been-used pain.

I was so nervous going into my first Ballet Basics taster class. It's been years in since I did beginner ballet the first time around, and I was younger and fitter then. I'd been thinking about it for months but it took my friend B prodding nonstop for me to book the class. Everyone needs an annoying, stubborn and pushy friend in their life.

I did beginner classes a few years back with Centenary Dance Academy on the Southside and even performed in their end of year showcase (I was so bad, it was good), but then I changed jobs and the commute was too far to make it in time for class. So I stopped. Until I started doing Groove Therapy classes and it got me thinking about body movement, and dance. I'm slowly becoming more active. I started with walks, then added weekend swims, then Groove Therapy, before I upped my walks to jog-walks (one day I hope to jog then run the full route).

Now I'm doing Queensland Ballet's Ballet Basics 8-week course before I get back into Beginner Ballet casual classes. They also offer Pilates, Barre & Tone and a bunch of other classes I'd like to try once I'm in better ballet shape. I need to pace myself though, because I am dopey and prone to hurt myself whenever I try new things with my uncooperative body.

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I got sidetracked from my Dad Series because of our Phamly Reunion in Europe last September. Though, thanks to that trip I learned a bit more about my parents' life in Germany. The early years were tough because they had been all about settling in and learning their new country. The later years were tough because that’s when Dad Pham got sick.

Long Lost German Cousin told us of mum’s hardship. Mum Pham gave up trying to study to pharmacy. She’d graduated in Vietnam but her degree wasn’t valid in Germany, and also she had to learn the hardest and harshest sounding language I’ve ever heard to complete her studies in her new home. She did work for a short time at a pharmacy but it didn’t work out. Things were too much for her to manage since she had to take care of Dad who was in and out of hospital for schizophrenia nearly a dozen times during this period, and she was also caring for three young children in a country that was foreign to her, on next to no budget because poor refugees.

I look at the luxuries our Phamly can afford now - Big Brother Pham and Little Sissy Pham are homeowners, Dad Pham can afford takeout meals, I can afford to spend extra for more ethical items instead of all the no-name branded things we lived on as kids. I wish Mum Pham knew how well she’d set us up for life during her hardships to make the burden feel worth her while. The struggle she must have felt, wondering how she would get her family through the next days, weeks, and months - and not knowing whether this would be forever.


Cousin said she never wavered no matter the trials life threw at her. He remembers life was stressful for her, but she never let it impact others. Mum had the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, but it didn’t make her soft or maybe that’s where her strength came from; she needed to be strong to care for everyone. She was steadfast, and determined - admirable traits that she tried to pass onto me but, alas, I’m more stubborn and annoying. Close, but not quite.

Back in Germany, we walked the streets where Mum used to push two babies in a pram (Little Sissy Pham and me) while Big Brother Pham clung to her side. The locals pitied Mum, the poor Asian lady with three young kids. The whole time we were in our hometown, we only saw two other Asian people who weren’t our relatives. Back then, Asian people would have been so new and different and rare for the locals. One time, Mum told us Big Brother Pham strayed from her because he was always running off as a tiny tot but a German lady returned him to her, because she was so obviously the only person in the mall who could be related to a little Vietnamese boy.

Mum & Dad gloss over the trying parts of their lives with us kids, so I’m grateful our Long Lost German Cousin lived with them in Germany. He was old enough to remember the way things were. I have next to no memories of Germany, it is a blur to Big Brother Pham - we mostly only remember our childhoods in Australia. Which I will cover next in my Dad Series.


- THE END -

If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more
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