KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Uncle 10 on mum's side moved to Melbourne, Australia from Germany before we did, and told Mum and Dad Pham that in Australia they have plenty of Vietnamese foods in comparison to Germany, which had next to none at the time. Our cousin benefited from this gap in the marketing, she opened up a highly successful Asian grocer in a small town in Germany. It's the only place you can get Asian food items in the area.

Mum and Dad were sold when they heard that Australia was warm enough to grow many of the herbs, fruits and vegetables from back home. They decided to migrate to Australia...because food. There was one catch. Mum's weight meant she didn't pass the medical requirements and Australia wouldn't accept their application because health concerns - they didn't want her to be a burden on the system. Boy oh, they didn't realise Dad Pham was a bigger concern there. More on that at a later date.

Mum Pham blames me for getting fat. When she was pregnant with me all she wanted to eat was pho. All that delicious soupy noodle made her bloated, and then getting pregnant again less than two months later with Little Sissy Pham didn't help. In order to apply to migrate to Australia, Mum needed to drop over 15kg. On a scale of stroll in the markets to fleeing a war torn country, losing weight was on the easier side.

She began by eating nothing but salads, and I vaguely remember making her laugh by laying down to do leg-ups with her. My fat baby gut must have looked hilarious trying to do core exercises. Mum Pham worked her ass off within weeks and went back to get her medical approved. In case you're wondering how this story ends, I'm sitting on a couch in Brisbane, Australia as I write feeling guilty that I can't lose and keep 5kg off to stay in a healthy weight range, while Mum Pham tortured herself with lettuce meals morning, noon and night to get fit enough to move her Phamly to the other side of the world.

I am always so grateful to her for all the things she did for us. I honour this by stuffing my face stupid on all the glorious Vietnamese foods in Inala where I take Dad Pham shopping every weekend. We cook mostly Vietnamese food for Phamly dinner too. Mum would be proud.




If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more

I was sad to bid goodbye to Corny Chips last year, and devastated to farewell my work bestie soon after. I farewelled another colleague a few weeks ago, and another one just today at lunch with two more long-termers bowing out in the next few weeks. I realise I've never really stuck around any workplace long enough to farewell more than one person, or worked in a company big enough to have such a high turnover rate. It's sad to see good people go. It's much easier when you're the one leaving for exciting new things, not left behind to miss everyone. There's only been one person who I've been happy to say goodbye to (for now).

Rachel Burke of Apomogy, Tinsel Town and @imakestagram fame. This ray of sunshine brought such positive and proactive vibes to the office every day. I'm not even mad at her for leaving to pursue her creative dreams full-time because it means she can share more happiness with the world. Rachel makes every day life more vibrant and fun and creative with her larger than life vision. Since stepping out on her own she's released a new collection of apparel, did a pop up studio at a shopping mall, and also making custom orders for celebrities and artists around the world. Amazing!

To honour Rachel on her last day in the office I dressed up in a special jacket she gifted me at her Tinsel Town art exhibition, and glittered up my face because fabulous is the only way to look and feel in a Rachel Burke creation. I couldn't happier for this crazy talented lady. Her happiness leads to Other People's Happiness. It's a wonderful thing. I can't wait to see what she gets up to next. Follow Rachel Burke in her creative world at @imakestagram - it's a good time.

Besides things like family and a handful of friends, the next longest relationship I've had in my life is with iPhones. I made the switch from Android to Apple back in 2011, and never thought I'd come back but here I am.

World, meet my new long-term potential, the OnePlus 5t. I wouldn't know this phone existed except work filed me under nerd and sat me with the IT & Development teams so I'm surrounded by tech heads - all of whom now have a OnePlus 5 or 5t phone. They tell me it's the amalgamation of features the premium phones like Samsung, iPhone and Google but at about half the price. I got the pimped up OnePlus 5t with 8GB RAM and 128GB storage on sale for AU$750.

I wish I'd move back to Android sooner. So much freedom, more functionality and better user experience all around. Guess that's what comes of giving developers more freedom. There is risk with open-source platforms where anyone can make anything so I keep to the trusted apps from mainstream, well-known companies.

I should have had ditched iPhone after my 4 because the 6 Plus was disappointing. The camera is awful - it's so bad that when I compared it to my sister's iPhone 6, I thought mine was broken so I brought it back to Apple who said no, the pixelated grainy image is the camera working normally. The OnePlus camera is crispy as and handles low light situations so well. You'll see the difference on my blog photos in coming months. The selfie is the front-facing camera. The cat photo below is main camera. Crispy!

The only downside of my OnePlus is no one will replace my handset if something goes awry because I got it online from GearBest (China). But if you don't want to risk it to save a few hundred bucks, you can get it locally from Kogan.com. Go forth and OnePlus!

You should totally try ballet if you want to ache all over, all the time. Oh god, why does it hurt so much? I exaggerate. It's been over 2 months of classes now with Queensland Ballet and my body is handling ballet better. In fact, I feel stronger, and have used my new knowledge of how my muscles work to improve my swimming technique. Bi-winning!

But boy-oh, the first week back in ballet, everything hurt SO much. I did the free trial class at the start of the year to see if I could get to class on time coming from work. And also to see if my old, inactive, inflexible joints could handle it. My thighs, my butt, my hips, my core (who knew I had a core?), my arms - it hurt to sit, stand, and move. I could barely think without flinching the next day after class, but I knew that was a good thing so I' enrolled in the 8 week Ballet Basics course, and now I take casual beginner ballet classes throughout the week.

Ballet is great for strengthening muscles, posture, wearing high heels and in my case, helping with my pigeon toe situation (though nothing will help the fact my hip is wonky making my left leg longer than my right). It seems like a gentle exercise and I suppose it is compared to impact sports like boxing, but it's a lot tougher than you'd imagine to keep control of all your muscles. I still ache after every class, though it's more developmental pain now and less these-muscles-have-never-been-used pain.

I was so nervous going into my first Ballet Basics taster class. It's been years in since I did beginner ballet the first time around, and I was younger and fitter then. I'd been thinking about it for months but it took my friend B prodding nonstop for me to book the class. Everyone needs an annoying, stubborn and pushy friend in their life.

I did beginner classes a few years back with Centenary Dance Academy on the Southside and even performed in their end of year showcase (I was so bad, it was good), but then I changed jobs and the commute was too far to make it in time for class. So I stopped. Until I started doing Groove Therapy classes and it got me thinking about body movement, and dance. I'm slowly becoming more active. I started with walks, then added weekend swims, then Groove Therapy, before I upped my walks to jog-walks (one day I hope to jog then run the full route).

Now I'm doing Queensland Ballet's Ballet Basics 8-week course before I get back into Beginner Ballet casual classes. They also offer Pilates, Barre & Tone and a bunch of other classes I'd like to try once I'm in better ballet shape. I need to pace myself though, because I am dopey and prone to hurt myself whenever I try new things with my uncooperative body.

I got sidetracked from my Dad Series because of our Phamly Reunion in Europe last September. Though, thanks to that trip I learned a bit more about my parents' life in Germany. The early years were tough because they had been all about settling in and learning their new country. The later years were tough because that’s when Dad Pham got sick.

Long Lost German Cousin told us of mum’s hardship. Mum Pham gave up trying to study to pharmacy. She’d graduated in Vietnam but her degree wasn’t valid in Germany, and also she had to learn the hardest and harshest sounding language I’ve ever heard to complete her studies in her new home. She did work for a short time at a pharmacy but it didn’t work out. Things were too much for her to manage since she had to take care of Dad who was in and out of hospital for schizophrenia nearly a dozen times during this period, and she was also caring for three young children in a country that was foreign to her, on next to no budget because poor refugees.

I look at the luxuries our Phamly can afford now - Big Brother Pham and Little Sissy Pham are homeowners, Dad Pham can afford takeout meals, I can afford to spend extra for more ethical items instead of all the no-name branded things we lived on as kids. I wish Mum Pham knew how well she’d set us up for life during her hardships to make the burden feel worth her while. The struggle she must have felt, wondering how she would get her family through the next days, weeks, and months - and not knowing whether this would be forever.


Cousin said she never wavered no matter the trials life threw at her. He remembers life was stressful for her, but she never let it impact others. Mum had the kindest heart of anyone I’ve ever met, but it didn’t make her soft or maybe that’s where her strength came from; she needed to be strong to care for everyone. She was steadfast, and determined - admirable traits that she tried to pass onto me but, alas, I’m more stubborn and annoying. Close, but not quite.

Back in Germany, we walked the streets where Mum used to push two babies in a pram (Little Sissy Pham and me) while Big Brother Pham clung to her side. The locals pitied Mum, the poor Asian lady with three young kids. The whole time we were in our hometown, we only saw two other Asian people who weren’t our relatives. Back then, Asian people would have been so new and different and rare for the locals. One time, Mum told us Big Brother Pham strayed from her because he was always running off as a tiny tot but a German lady returned him to her, because she was so obviously the only person in the mall who could be related to a little Vietnamese boy.

Mum & Dad gloss over the trying parts of their lives with us kids, so I’m grateful our Long Lost German Cousin lived with them in Germany. He was old enough to remember the way things were. I have next to no memories of Germany, it is a blur to Big Brother Pham - we mostly only remember our childhoods in Australia. Which I will cover next in my Dad Series.



If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more

I went back to liquid shampoo and conditioner this month after trying plastic free hair for a year and a half. This is the longest time I’ve tried anything because I really wanted to make it work - I even cut off 60% of my hair to make it more manageable, but in the end I have to admit shampoo bars are not right for me. I do think it will work for people with finer hair, though. My hair is thick and coarse, and the bars cling to it leaving my hair thick (which I like), but also sticky and dusty. I still travel with shampoo and conditioner bars because it's convenient, but for long term use, I need to mix in a liquid shampoo and conditioner to rinse out the shampoo bar gunk that collects.

These are my recommendations for shampoo & conditioner bars if you want to give it a whirl yourself.

Shampoo bars - The Beauty & The Bees - Voodoo Black Bamboo from Biome was my favourite. It lathers up nicely when you rub it on your wet hair, it left my hair 'volumnessy' as someone at work described it. I chop my bars in half because I have tiny hands syndrome (it hurts my feelings that I have something in common with Donald Trump) and also makes one bar last longer.

Conditioner bars - I tried diluted Apple Cider Vinegar twice a week instead of conditioner for three months, but no matter how watered down or infrequent, I found it irritated my scalp. My hair also smelled a bit gross because the vinegar smell clung to it. So I moved onto conditioner bars.

Lush sell 3 conditioner bars and I’ve tried them all. Eldest niece who is somehow old enough to have a job (when did that happen?!) bought me "Jungle" for Xmas. I used the whole bar, but it didn't work wonders for my knotty shampoo bar hair, even though my hair 'smells amazing' according to another workmate. Why do so many work people comment on my hair?

I tried a couple more from Lush. ‘Sugar Daddy-O’ didn’t do much to smooth my hair either though it smelled great. But ‘Big’ makes my hair nice and soft, and smooth - it’s my favourite of the Lush conditioner bars and I’m still using it now.

Some of you may remember that I pranked Tuna Breath on his birthday by getting the whole team to buy him a tonne of tuna tins. He promised revenge, and put 3 calendar reminders into his computer to make sure he didn't forget. Well, guys, he delivered.

I arrived at work to find multiple types of chillies on my desk, in the tackiest, pinkest, most glitter covered bag and birthday card. He found out that I am obsessed with chilli - I have 3 types of hot sauce in my desk, pickled chilli in the fridge and sometimes fresh chilli too. Sweet Cakes was in on the prank too - she made me a beautiful birthday cake, with a side of minced chilli in a jar. Too cute. Tuna Breath nailed it. I'm going to be feasting on these chillies for months.


After work for Single Ladies Valentine's Day Birthday, I went for dinner with gal pals - 100% of whom were on loan from their boyfriends so my Single Ladies Bdays very not single these days. You're welcome, guys, most of you were off the hook for Valentine's Day - the most awkward days for going on dates, because romance is dead and people my generation and younger don't know how to cope with feelings. It makes for great people watching on the night, but from the looks of things not many great dates. The heat wave and everyone's face melting probably didn't help the looks of despair I saw on some lovebirds.

This year was my first birthday free from online dating horror stories since I quit Tinder and consequently dating. It meant I didn't have any hilarious / awful stories to share so instead we talked about travel plans, careers, hobbies, media, entertainment. It was fun!

Dinner was at Popolo in South Bank - one of my special treat places. You know, where the prices aren't cheap but the food is amazing, and the service exceptional so you go there only for special occasions. The awesome team at Popolo surprised me with a free cocktail, and free dessert. In your face Valentine's Day daters - I got freebies 'cause I was born. Bet you wish you were sad, alone, and born on Valentine's Day like me now, hey? Yeah, be jealous.

Dad Pham dreamt of us kids before we were born. Each dream came to reflect our personalities and lives. It could be coincidence, or it could be something else. Interpret the dreams as you wish.

Big Brother Pham
Before Big Brother Pham was born, Dad had a dream that he was standing in the open under a dark and stormy sky. God told him he was expecting a son, and the son would be his close friend, yet being trials and hardship to his life.

True to his dream, Big Brother is Dad's friend and also the child with the most difficult life. It impacted Dad and The Phamly a lot in our early years. Though, now the storm has finally passed and Big Brother and Dad Pham are living together and having the best time.

Big Sissy Pham (Me)
I, of course, was the most difficult of his dreams. Dad dreamt it was night time and he was crawling on his belly, deep in mud under barbed wire - he was cut from getting caught on the wires and bleeding. Ahead he could see a building with its lights on, which he instinctively knew he had to reach. As he pulled himself further and further, the wire got lower and lower until it was ripping him open. He started vomitting blood.

When he finally reached the building, he crawled up the steps to the building where, exhausted and bleeding, he found a room full of Vietnamese boys and a single Western woman wearing leopard print - he knew instantly she was strong, difficult and the boss. He had to choose between the boys and the girl. He picked me.

I bet he regretted his decision in my early teens to early twenties when I butted heads with my parents over their Vietnamese cultural beliefs and my Westernised ways. These days, I use my knowledge of Western culture to make sure Dad gets the best of both worlds - his Vietnamese roots and the benefits of living in Australia, instead of clashing with him. Cultures can co-exist, it's not one or the other - I saw the world as too black & white when I was younger.


Little Sissy Pham
When Little Sissy Pham was conceived, Dad dreamt he was by the sea when a German man in a formal suit told him he'd have a boy. The man then transformed into a half shark / half frog creature and hopped away across the water.

Now Little Sissy is a boy so the dream was somewhat wrong, except for the part where she identified as a boy until her mid-teen years. Whenever we role played games as kids, I would be the princess and she would be the distress. I also had to refer to her as Brother in Vietnamese. Though these days she's girlier than I am.

Little Brother Pham
Dad never had any dreams of our little brother. Before Mum came to term, she slipped on ice and fell hard - we lost our little brother who was stillborn.

This past year wasn’t my greatest. I feel like every year I get more extreme lows and highs than the last. Is this because I’m adulting and am more aware of my life’s twists and turns now? Or am I just really bad at keeping balance in my life? Either way, I am glad to see this year end.

The highlight for me was definitely my trip to Europe and seeing my German Phamly for the first time in 3 decades. The lowlights were Dad Pham’s health scare, the ongoing boy fails, and farewelling work bestie and corny chips. It's always tough saying goodbye to good people.

Things ended well enough though. I’ve made some new friends to add to my small collection of excellent humans in my life; Dad Pham has PhamLe living next door; and I have cats everywhere I go now. Cats are the greatest reminder that humans should be humble because we are clearly inferior to these majestic (yet dopey) creatures. Also, I wish I had a domestic cat's life - lazing around for most of my life, and still being super athletic and wild when I'm active. If I'm inactive for more than a day, my hard earned muscles turn to mush and I have trouble getting out of bed. Lucky cats.

Here’s hoping I can keep up the good momentum from the end of this year into the next. Goals include getting fitter - not as fit as a cat, I'm trying to be realistic here. I’ve been keeping up my Groove Therapy classes, and have added 1-2 more swim sessions a week, I even started jogging after a fill-in Groove Therapy teacher put us through an hour of nonstop jumping and I realised my cardio needs a lot of work when I nearly keeled over during blass. Lastly, I’ve started adult beginner ballet classes again. Another goal is getting back to nature more - less city dwelling weekends. And lastly, my friends are a bigger focus now I’ve given up online dating people I don’t like. Phamly have always and will always be a top priority so they're not a goal, they're a way of life.

Wish me luck kicking all my goals for this year. I wish you all a happy, healthy and prosperous New Year too!

Big Brother Pham’s PhamLe moved in with Dad Pham at the end of last year, and Dad couldn’t be happier. Well, maybe he could - he keeps telling me to move home now that Little Sissy Pham has settled down with a partner. But, well, the fool went and got an adorable kitten so I won’t be leaving any time soon.

Dad Pham gets to see his grandchildren every day, and his favourite (read: only) son too. I still take Dad for his weekly grocery shop and cook Phamly dinner with him because that’s our time. But now he has someone to check in on him regularly throughout the week, and it’s nice he has the companionship without having to share his roof - he likes his independence.

After Xmas lunch this year, I was talking to him about his new living arrangement and he is so happy. Some mornings he doesn’t speak to them, but he’ll watch for them out the window when they leave for school or work, and that’s enough to make him smile. His favourite time of day is when the girls have their bath time. From his bedroom where he listens to his radio at night, he can hear the girls laughing and playing in the tub in their house. He doesn’t understand what they’re saying, but hearing their laughter makes him happy.

Grandparents are the sweetest.