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KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

Hello poser me. I'm sorry, I couldn't help myself. I am slowly but surely on my way to not being called a fatty boombah by science. I'm actually out of the overweight range after dropping 3kg in three weeks - yay! But that's just on the very edge of the healthy weight range for some one my height so I want to keep going because if I settled for just okay my life would be super dull and I'd probably be the first person to literally (meaning literally, not the new shitty 'used for emphasis' literal meaning - will you dictionary people stop adding bullshit words and definitions already please?!?!) die from boredom.
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The other day while cooking with Dad Pham, I learned that my dad was a certified life saver back in the day. Our best conversations are had in our kitchen where we both avoid talking about the cooking because as soon as he tells me how I should be doing something, I get all, 'You're not my mother! You can't tell me what to do!'
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I had my doubts about the River Island Pink Cosmic Tube Dress because I am a 10/12 up-top with the hips of a 12/14 and tubes by definition don't have hips.  I bought it anyway because I love it too much and, true, it's too snug at my hips but I'm going to allow myself this one discrepancy in my otherwise too picky wardrobe.
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I've always trusted science because, like me, science doesn't lie. At least, not intentionally. We both have a habit of assuming we're always right until we're proven wrong. Science also likes to keep it real, which I respect. I guess that's why I take it seriously when science calls me fat.
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Forget YOLO. We should be YLAYLing. You live and you learn. I've learned a lot this year already. Too much to smush into this blog post so I'll tell you one thing.

On my birthday,  I learned that when I'm overexcited I start to talk in a low, breathy demonic voice. A bit like Christopher Nolan's batman if he were from the fiery pits of the deepest Hell. I can't remember exactly what I said when I opened my present but I do remember how I said it. The sounds my throat made scared the children and Little Sissy Pham had to reign me in before I gave them nightmares. Far right is me pissing myself after seeing Middling Niece's stunned face. YLAYL!


Hey, if you got this Lego Art Carousel for your birthday you'd be ecstatic too. It has four segments for textas, pencils, crayons and erasers. Or for me: Pens, pencils, mini-sharpies and lip balm/mints because I'm so grown up and my stationery is so mature.

The Lego head featured in the middle is actually a pencil sharpener (and OMG - you MUST know how much I LOVE sharpening pencils by now) with a happy face on one side and an angry face on the other side which perfectly expresses the only two emotions I feel in life. The carousel, in case you haven't guessed, spins like a carousel because it is a carousel. Everything about this Lego pen holder makes me happy. YLAYL!


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I've had acne since puberty hit me in the face and the hips, though it forgot my chest which will always be prepubescent. Instead, I grew lumps and bumps allover my face - forehead, temples, cheeks, jawline and neck. Puberty, you did it wrong!

I've been on and off Proactiv for years trying to treat my acne. I'm told that acne doesn't become immune to the stuff but whatever goes on with my skin, after 1-2 years on Proactiv my suppressed acne finds a way to break out. After the first time it stopped working I went on a string of doctor prescribed topical meds before they sent me to a dermatologist for hardcore oratane pills. It cleared my skin after 6 months on the meds and stayed clear for 3 months once I was taken off but then the acne came back again. So I went back on Proactiv again and it worked again.

The next time it stopped working I tried the pharmacy stocked Benzac AC 5% benozyl peroxide but that gave me a massive rash so I let my skin break out for a few months before going back on Proactiv but it hasn't been as effective because the gap was too short. When I heard about Skin Clarity I had high hopes for a system that didn't use peroxide (the main anti-acne stuff in Proactiv) so I could move between the two but I should have read up on what Skin Clarity used instead.

After two weeks on Skin Clarity I had to stop. I expected a breakout while my skin adjusted to a new skincare regime but within the first week my skin was the worst it'd been in 5 years. I decided to stop using step 3, the repair cream that contains caster oil.  This did stop my pimples from growing at warp speed but because I was only using step 1, the foaming cleanser, and step 2,  clarifying gel, my skin dried out terribly. The pimples I did have from step 3 started to fade but new ones were developing because my skin was irritated from being too dry (my regular day moisturiser wasn't cutting it without the oily help of step 3).

Why am I calling this post Proactiv Vs. Skin Clarity? Because Skin Clarity are a newcomer who've marketed themselves as a three step program that's benozyl peroxide free using packaging similar to Proactiv. I can only assume they're targeting the Proactiv audience.

For me, Proactiv wins hands down. Skin Clarity proved really bad with my oily skin but if you want to give it a go, the starter kit is only $29.95.

I'm not taking my own advice for now. I'm not using Proactiv at the moment. I've decided it's time to go back to a dermatologist for help. Over the counter stuff isn't working anymore.

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My name is Jade Pham and I am a shopaholic. To be fair, I was shopahol free for 2 of the 6 weeks I was unemployed at the start of this year. Didn't spend a dime over New Years and then I started to apply for jobs. I assumed I'd get one soonish because I've always been quick to find work when I want it. It's a boyfriend, acne remedy, the will to finish all 100 paragon levels in Diablo 3, fun-creative places to party in Brisbane, fun-creative people to party with in Brisbane and my stereo remote that I suck at finding.

After my first job application and interview I treated myself to a pair of Karen Walker Super Duper Critter Sunnies. To be fair, I did whip up a work folio to present at the interview and would have made a second presentation of ideas I had for the company / my future role but I had one day's notice and a Pham birthday (Phamly Phirst!) to organise. I reckon I deserved a treat.

Now I've been bleeding money ever since. The good part is I have a heap of things to blog about! The bad part is I bought this gorgeous Love Dress in floral print to wear to a wedding... AND I DON'T HAVE A WEDDING TO ATTEND. What is wrong with me? I mean, it's good to be prepared for life and stuff but none of my friends or relatives are even engaged. This romantic, drapey Love Dress is the first time I've realised that I am a shopaholic, I can't live without shopahol.

Here's hoping first-world consumer society lasts for as long as my lifetime so I'll never have to suffer the distress of withdrawal. I imagine it'd be worse than that time I quit food (meaning gluten, dairy, nuts, some fruit and veg, sugar, salt and red meat) to show support for Little Sissy Pham and her crackpot, hippy skin 'doctor's' attempts at curing her psoriasis. You know how much I love my food. So much so, Eldest Niece once said about heaps of leftovers, "If only Aunty Ngoc were here, none of this food would be wasted because she'd have eaten it all."

Which is why the ASOS.com model looks less bloated in these product pics:




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The best thing about having a terrible memory is finding Caramello Koalas in my room that I forgot to eat yesterday. The worst thing about my terrible memory is I decided to stop chopping out my face from blog photos because people aren't as repelled by my bobble head as I thought. Actually, they're my most popular posts. But because I forgot I'm now allowed to show my face in public, I left it at home again.

I hope people don't need to see my full body to help judge whether these shoes will work for them. I bought these River Island Edon Lace Up Flatform shoes from Asos.com for work and play because now I work somewhere that I can play with what I wear. They're oh so shiny and very comfortable to clomp around in. Flatforms have been making a resurgence for the past couple of years but I wasn't really sold until I saw this sleek shiny dream. They fit perfectly like a glove but for my feet so more like a sock. Mmm... comfort + height + girly punk. Love 'em.


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This will be a foreign concept to most bloggers but I still write using pen and paper - and cursive too. Yup, I'm old. But that means I have a reason to buy fundraiser pens from my favourite charities!

This post has taken me roughly three months to write because every time I sit down to finish it, I get distracted by my research and end up buying another pen because I am a total sucker.

My favourite charity pens are what I like to call "fancy pens." I will go the cheaper plastic ones if I don't have an option but my preference is the smooth, metal, inky pens that are twice as expensive. It's for charity after all. Legacy Australia ink pens are my favourite to write letters with (yes, I still write letters and cards, I'm really old) but they don't have an online shop, just good-looking men in uniforms selling them on the streets every now and then. But here are some of my favourite charities that sell their pens online - and yes, I did buy another fundraiser item just now but it was a gift for someone else and not a pen:

RSPCA - their Happy Tails Floating Pen is my favourite range ever, they drop a new design every now and then
Starlight - I recommend their 'metal pen' for the smoothest write, so good
Pink Ribbon Day (Cancer Council) - surprisingly subtle, not pink pen. Sensible office people can totally rock this at work


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There's a certain number of items in my wardrobe that I think of as my food-baby clothes. They are worn to Phamly feasts and friends' BBQs and picnics where I plan to stuff my face stupid on good food and drink. If you haven't guessed, they are loose fitting clothes that won't reveal how greedy my gut has been.

This Nasty Gal Space King tee is unintentionally one of them. I ordered a large thinking it'd be a snug-large like the rest of my US-imports but turns out this tee is actually large. I could exchange it, I guess, but I only have one other food baby tee and it's too warm for most Brisbane days.. so meet my new food eating tee!

I actually ordered this galaxy tee before Mr. Gugu dropped into work. Seems like galaxy is the new leopard print for me. Though I'll always love big cats. Thank you in advance, Mr. Space King, for making me look pretty while hiding my bloated belly.

This was my first time ordering from nastygal.com and I'm definitely going back for more. Their stuff is high quality. Will blog about the jacket I bought from them soon.
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