KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

When I learned that Michelle Law’s “Single Asian Female” play at the La Boite Theatre in Brisbane had a preview show on my birthday (some of you may call it Valentine's Day), I knew it was destiny. Hello, I’m Always Single, and I’m Asian so I love anything cheap including preview tickets. This night was meant to be.

I haven’t been single on Valentine’s Day the past couple years, but long distance meant I was solo anyways. This year I’m a free agent so for Single Ladies Valentine's Day I took a bunch of my single and not-as-single ladies to the show for Valentine’s Day.

I cannot recommend Single Asian Female enough - it is the best live theatre I have seen in years, possibly ever. You don't need to be single, Asian or female to relate to the characters. There is so much heart and soul and hilarity. No awkward or filler moments. Every little detail adds to the bigger picture. It had me in tears from laughing so hard, and from the heart wrenching & heart warming story.

Seeing people of my heritage and cultural background represented authentically live on stage filled a void I wasn’t aware was there. In all the plays, movies, shows, magazines I’ve seen, the South-East Asians are in Westernised settings. The best way I can think to describe what I felt watching the play is recognition and belonging. The women onstage were my mum (at one point, I accidentally cried out ‘that’s my mum!’ I was so shocked to see an EXACT moment my mother and I shared), the women were my Aunty, my cousins, my friends. So while I recommend this play to anyone and everyone, I especially recommend it to my Asian friends. It's rare and wonderful to experience something you can connect with on such a personal level.

Every now and then via my blog, I receive a message from a stranger who has been so excited that they’re not alone in thinking or feeling the same thing, that they’re moved to share their own story with me. Single Asian Female created so many moments like this for me and my girlfriends (none of them Asian except for Little Sissy Pham) - we left the theatre on a high and couldn't stop talking about all the different moments from the show we connected with. I hope Michelle Law, the playwright, is proud of her masterpiece that touches people on so many levels, and is perfectly told by a cast of brilliant actors.

The show runs until Saturday 4th March, 2017. As a birthday present to me, please treat yo'self to a night of laughs and love at Single Asian Female. If you read my blog, it means you like what single, asian women think so I promise you'll have a good time:

My friend's post-marriage mantra is 'Don't Be A Doormat' because "sometimes I'm so flat you won't even notice I'm there." She shared this with me in a not-so subtle attempt to tell me that I've been letting a guy walk all over me. Rogue Fun and I were not a good fit, and at my age I should know better than to force things. I still gave him more chances than any of my supportive girlfriends would have liked (thanks for your patience, ladies, I know I was infuriating by the end). I deserve more effort than I got even if I'm "not hard work" or especially because I'm not hard work, so I had to stop being a doormat and walk away.

Rogue Fun didn't intentionally walk all over me but he took my kindness and understanding for granted. He was very emotionally low key and noncommittal - so much so he didn't appear to care I was around. I'm the complete opposite - I feel all the things and do big and small gestures to show I care about other people's happiness. I thought maybe we'd make a comedic opposites attract duo, and while there was definitely attraction, Rogue Fun became no fun because I need a little affection too. There's only so many cancellations my ego can take before I start feeling rejected. I found myself holding back and toning things down after a while, and if I can't be myself then what's the point? Oh well, we are who we are. I hope he finds someone equally low key to hang out with. And I hope I find someone who's a little excited about seeing me.

Alas, it's back to the drawing board. This sucks because last time I online dated, I had to go on soooooo many filter dates. This is what I call first dates for people you meet online 'cause really you're just meeting to filter out the ones you have zero chemistry with, which was every single one for a year and a half before I met my ex-boyfriend. This time around I was so excited that the first guy passed the chemistry test that I let myself get carried away with the crush. But reality crashed that party pretty quickly.

I am dreading the many, many dud dates I'll have to go on now to find my next connection, but you know what? I deserve the effort. If I expect guys to put in an effort for me, then I need to do the same for myself. And this time, no doormatting. Wish me luck in the dating world. If only all boys could be as sweet as the two young gentleman who offered to be my Valentine's this year, the world would be a much lovelier place.

Remember that German cousin who I didn't know the name of way back 'In Loving Memory of Mum Pham' (which turns out he took those photos of us that Mum loved so much when he was learning photography)? I never fully understood why he was in a bunch of our Phamly photos in Germany. Until now. We recently connected over Facebook (I know, using FB for something other than memes and cat videos - crazy), and I asked if he was up for being the first person I've ever interviewed for my blog. He accepted and proceeded to make me cry like a baby learning things I never knew about my cousin nor my parents.

Where did you grow up in Vietnam? Do you miss it?
I was born and grew up in Saigon. My family had a big house in the Bình Thạnh District. I still remember a lot of things. However, I don’t miss it much. I have been too long away. The city has changed a lot. My people, my family have changed since then. One thing I have learnt: The only persistency in life are changes. 😊

Were you close to my Dad back in Vietnam?
As your dad lived in Nha Trang, we were not as close to each other. Actually, we didn’t have as much contact. The last time he came to visit my family in Saigon were 1975, short before the takeover of the southern Vietnamese capital by the Communists. Dad Pham fled from Nha Trang after his city was taken-over by the Vietcong. The south Vietnamese army was broken. He came with a gun in his jacket and told us, some people on the street tried to rob him. He smiled at them, showed the gun and asked if they wanted some bullets. The robbers fled.

Do you remember the war and the Viet Cong?
I didn’t remember much about the war and the Viet Cong. What I remember quite well was the time after the takeover: troubles with the Viet Cong authority, the hunger, ridiculous things we were forced to do, etc.

How did you end up in Germany with my parents? How did you feel when you learned your parents were sending you over first?
My parents’ plan was actually not to send me abroad first. The plan was that I left my family forever. No one knew at that time that things would turn out the way they have. We didn’t know about the German program for family reunion. We didn’t know that the Vietnamese government would allow my family later to leave Vietnam legally. So, you may imagine how I felt when my parents asked me whether or not I wanted to take the chance. The decision to leave was not easy for me.

“Legally crossing the border” was the common term used in Vietnam in the time period when Vietnamese people of Chinese origin were hassled and forced to leave Vietnam. They were allowed to “escape” the country on boats after paying a huge amount of money to the government and, of course, also to some corrupted people working in the government. A colleague and friend of my father (I called him chú Kiêng) changed his name to smuggle his family to the list of the permitted Chinese. He took me with his family (my family name was also changed to Quách) and we escaped Vietnam that way. Some others like your Dad did it illegally by leaving the country by boat without permission. I guess he was picked up by a German ship and came to Germany in around 1978.

I’m not sure how long it really took. We were placed on the bottom of the boat near by the motor which ran all the time (when it was not broken down). There was no daylight. It was dark, loud, and sticky. I think it was roughly a week or so until we arrived in Malaysia. We got robbed by Thai fishers twice. The Malaysian marine didn’t allow us to enter their territory. So, they towed our boat to Indonesia. Upon arriving in the first refugee camp on a small island of Indonesia called Araya, I contacted Dad Pham by sending him a short letter. I still remember how happy I was when I held his reply letter in my hand after some months. And I was even happier when I opened it and found an entrance clearance for Germany and a 100-Dollar banknote in there.

With the 100 Dollars in my pocket, I left chú Kiêng’s family to go to another camp for Germany. I guess, with this decision I caused a lot of trouble to chú Kiêng, since he had been declaring me as his own son in his application for the U.S. He was about to get the entrance clearance for U.S.A. after being interviewed by the US delegation. Now, chú Kiêng had to explain why his son has left him for Germany. I was really sorry for this. But I think it was the right decision.

From then on, I really travel on my own. I needed to find another refugee camp, which organised flights to destination countries for refugees with such a document Dad Pham sent to me. I visited 3 other camps (Galang, Pynang, Jakarta) before arriving in Germany in January 1980.


When did your family come over to Germany? What was your reunion like?
My family came to Germany 3 years later. I still remember how happy I was. I couldn’t sleep the night before their arrival. For me, it was kind of wonder since I never thought we would see each other again when I left Vietnam. Dad Pham had a big contribution to our family reunion. He took care of my application and the administrative things. He helped me to send money and “survival” packets to my family. Life wasn’t easy under the Viet Cong regime. And my parents had to feed 9 hungry mouths (my 6 siblings and the other 3 cousins living in the same house). Without support from abroad, they would not be able to do so.

Sometimes, I wonder what life would have been like if Mum & Dad had stayed in Germany. Do you ever wonder what life would have been like if you had stayed in Vietnam?
It’s very interesting. Very often, I ask myself the same questions. What would have been if I decided not to leave my family and stayed in Vietnam. Or, what would happen if Dad Pham didn’t send his letter and the entrance paper? I would come with chú Kiêng’s family to the US. But what would happen with my parents?

One thing is for sure: If Mom and Dad stayed in Germany, you would speak German very well and would know me better. And Dad and Mom would still say “Herr” (Mr.) and “Frau” (Mrs.) to each other J. Actually, how did they call each other in Australian? Did they tell you the anecdote about “Herr” and “Frau” instead of “Anh” and “Em” like other Vietnamese couples always do? Mom Pham told me once that Dad called her “Chị” the first time they met. Dad Pham meant it with respect. Mom took it like dad is too young for her and called him “Em”. After the marriage, they agreed to be “neutral” by using the German words for Mr. and Mrs. when talking to each other.
====

Here ends the first part of the interview. The rest will come in Part 2.

FYI - Mum & Dad Pham continued to call each other Herr and Frau to the end of their time together. I never knew the origin of their German nicknames for each other.

Depending on how you measure Tinder success, I am either terrible or great at it. Either way, I was on it for a month and I'm already taking a break because I went and caught feelings (ewwwww) for someone, which is a fail, right? I was on a Tinder roll, juggling half a dozen guys with code names like Jack The Ripped for quick reference (I’m clever like that) who were all waiting to see me after the new year's holiday. I was feeling like a hot AF player when Rogue Fun came along and ruined Christmas for everyone.

Yup, after our first date Rogue Fun had me crushing so hard I couldn't go on any other dates I had planned after my holiday. I knew if I went I wouldn't bring my A-game and that’s just rude. I don’t like to waste people's time so I've postponed indefinitely while I ride out this crush.

Originally this post was going to be all about the fun of crushing on someone, but between the idea, starting a draft and tonight, I went and psyched myself out about Rogue Fun so now this post is more about how not to fudge up a new crush when you're naturally repulsed about having feelings of any kind.

Rogue Fun and I started out hot and heavy in a whirlwind of dates and nonstop texting, then due to a series of unfortunate and inconvenient events I haven’t seen him in weeks. I hit the panic button this week, jumped into self-defence mode and started my vanishing act (introverts are the best at disappearing, they call me 'the elusive Jade Pham' for good reason). Rogue Fun snapped me out of it and grounded me with his annoyingly reasonable arguments. In my defence, I wasn’t given all the facts - he had a fresh wound he forgot to mention when he bailed on me last-minute. I thought he had a choice and that his choice was not to see me.

A few lessons learned from my panic attack:

1. Don’t assume someone’s motives - This I will struggle with. In my experience people say things they don’t mean all the time - I mean, hello, my formative years were heavily influenced by junkies and a paranoid delusionist. So I’m always analysing people’s actions or inaction to see what they really mean. Next time, I must remember to ask for the why.
2. Ask how they’re feeling - I am not the greatest at understanding what people mean in what they say either. Being someone who has no filter in speaking my mind, I take things way too literally ALL the time and it’s put me and other people in many awkward situations. Like, when someone wishes we were snuggling and I offer to come over, then they have to reject me because they didn’t actually want to snuggle. So awkward. Maybe this lesson should be 'ask how they’re really feeling.'
3. Trust - Basically it's what all of the above comes down to. You have to trust that the other person has your back otherwise, what's the point? 

It's all easier said than done, though. Rogue Fun makes it easy to crush on him because he's always saying reassuring things like he finds me “very tolerable" and “not bad weird." But I find it bloody terrifying trusting anyone with my feelings. Being an optimist means pretty much always being disappointed because I always wish, hope and aim for the best. Between my expectations and reality, there is a 100% fail rate.

Even though I know that I'm setting myself up to be hurt whether intentionally by him or not, I just have to remind myself that I code named him 'Rogue Fun' for a reason. This crush is unpredictable, a little out of control, and a lot of fun. I just need to be brave enough to enjoy it because it's rare and lucky to feel this excited about anything or anyone in life.

I was listening to Pandora (and not Spotify because I’m old and Pandora were on the scene first and I’m lazy / set in my ways) when an old song I used to be obsessed with came on. If you haven’t noticed, anything can inspire a blog post in my weird brain and hearing this song was enough to trigger a whole thought chain from past me to future me.

I haven’t listened to Monica 'Don’t Take It Personal (Just One Of Dem Days' in years - over a decade, even. Not since I got through puberty and emerged a tolerable human being. This song makes so much more sense now I know what PMS is! I mean, I was a disgruntled and unhappy teen so I couldn’t differentiate between regular me and PMS me - back then I had one of dem hormonal days every day. Now I’ve developed into a decent person with passable charm (fake it til you make it, people), I know when hormones are making me unreasonable, melodramatic and a total biatch each month.

I'm mature enough now to take myself out of the equation of life so I don't take my moodiness out on others and create more bad vibes. Well, when I can - at work I just have to suck it up and my poor desk buddy doesn't know when I shut down and don't want to talk that it's not him, it's me. I guess we've worked together long enough for me to just tell him...

Dave, I PMS mid-month every month and there's one day in the lead up where I turn into an emotional wreck and want to cry for no reason; and then one day when the bleeding starts where I just want to lie down and be left alone to die a slow, impending, miserable death. I will warn you next time I'm extra hormonal since you don't read my blog.

At home, I can simply announce it to the housemate (Little Sissy Pham) and then sit in a grumpy lump on the couch or curled up in my bed. And she may or may not feed me bags of potato chips and chocolate. I do the same for her. Luckily we're not completely synched so usually on my awful or exhausted days she's OK, and on her awful or exhausted days I'm OK. Sisters don't have to do it for themselves.

PMS, girls and guys, is a bitch. Everyone experiences hormonal changes differently so sorry to say there's no simple rules to follow when navigating your way through rampaging hormones. Maybe one day we'll live in a society where we can just take a PMS day from work each month and openly tell people 'I'm bleeding and don't feel so hot' but till that day comes I'll subtly try to avoid humans and limit my anger to myself. If I ever tell you to please stop talking at me, think of this song and 'Don't take it personal.'

Over the Xmas to NYE break, B.Rad and B.Jammin' (aka "my gays") invited me to stay with them in the Northern Rivers area. The boys were in Lismore for Tropical Fruits Festival, a four-day GLBTI celebration which is bloody amazing and far too fabulous for someone as straight, sober and not into electronica as my dull self so I didn't stay for NYE or the recovery parties on NYD. Though, I marched in the gay pride parade in town a couple of days before, because unity and also because my gays said I didn't have an option.

I hardly get to see the B.Boys now we live in different states, so I drove down in my bum-numbing cheap car for their excellent company and great day trips to beautiful beaches, waterfalls and swimming holes. It was bloody friggin' hot though, and there's only so much nature us city plebs can handle before we melt. Whenever we weren't in or near water we struggled majorly.

Luckily, my gays had friends nearby and said friends had a life-restoring pool. These friends were so warm, welcoming and fun that when I got back home to Brisbane, I knew I had to make them my first act of Other People's Happiness for 2017. I sent them a couple of inflatable pool games as a thank you for being amazing, strong, hilarious women and for saving my life because I'm pretty sure I would have died from embarrassment at how poorly I was handling the heat. Hopefully, they have a little happy moment when they receive the card & gifts.

Thank you again, Katrina & Alex for being awesome human beings! I appreciate you.

There was a moment this year when the CEO at work asked me to recheck some figures because something was off by one, and I replied, "I did the split and I don't really make mistakes like that." Not because I'm cocky but because I am methodical - hence, project management life. By the way, I rechecked figures and I was right because duh. I'm not really someone who makes mistakes at work... or at least, admit to them. My mistakes tend to happen in my personal life. These are my favourite mistakes of 2016:


1/ It's Not A Tumor
The worst and best moment of my year was in April 2016 when Middling Niece had an awful kidney infection and cancer scare. Friggin' doctors scared the living crap out of my Phamly when they warned us some growths visible on scans could be cancer coming back and I bawled my eyes out like I hadn't done in years. This was during a peak period at work as well, so I spent my long days consumed by deadlines, my evenings in hospital playing with my niece to break up her boredom and my nights trying not to cry more before repeating the same cycle next day. It turns out what the doctors thought could be her cancer returning was just a bizarre mucus caused by an infection so bad they hadn't seen anything like it before. My mistake was listening to the experts - Middling Niece is still in remission. That's the last time I listen to doctors!

2/ The Long Ending
I struggled for most of this year with a long distance relationship. It actually felt like work and no fun but I kept it up because I don't like admitting defeat. I'm stubborn like that. It was a big mistake not to end things sooner - we both were finding it hard to keep ourselves and each other happy. The reason it makes my favourites list is because the drawn out ending meant I didn't have the shocked heartbreak of a sudden ending, I had relief like a weight had been lifted. It changed my energy and as soon as I became single, I made some ridiculously fabulous and supportive new friends, and am still meeting interesting and fun new people.

3/ The Unsexiest Tinder Profile
My pics aren't my best but they sum me up pretty well, I think. One dude actually told me I'm cuter on my Instagram than my Tinder profile and I'm not doing myself justice. That's right, I had Tinder profiles mansplained to me. Unmatch - ain't nobody got time for dat.

I also quote my parents in my bio 'cause there is nothing sexier than making guys think about your parents while they're trying to picture you naked to decide whether you're bone-worthy.

Mum: "Ngoc (Jade) was the duck (she means dux) of her school. She could have done anything with her life but she chose music (now fashion) and that's why her hair's like that." 

Dad: "Your mind is simple. That's why you're a happy person." Turns over my palm. "See? Look how clear the lines are. You don't think much."

The good part is, I think I filter out all the gross men with my super goofy profile. So far the men who don't care about me as a human being and only want vagina time have been awfully polite and considerate in their offers. While at the same time, the dudes that seem interested in who I am as a person seem genuine.


So, in conclusion, things I've learned from 2016 is never listen to experts, taking forever to end a relationship isn't a bad thing, and being unsexy in the online dating world is good for avoiding mega creeps. Here's to new and better mistakes in 2017!

We don't celebrate Xmas normally in our Phamly because Vietnamese. We usually gift the little ones because their Italian-Australian half is into Xmas and eat our usual Phamly dinner of rice paper rolls or banh xeo (Viet pancakes). This year, their Italian-Australian mother is cooking a lamb leg and all of a sudden we have to learn how to Xmas the Aussie way.

Little Sissy Pham turns to her boyfriend and says, "You're white. How do we do white Christmas?" In his family it's meat, potato and veggies. Sounds easy enough. Then yesterday, Apple made Little Sissy Pham and I a delicious pre-Xmas dinner and showed us how Xmas is done in the real world. Meat, potato bake, mango & avocado salad followed by Xmas treaty desserts. We are stealing her ideas for the Phamly's first white Christmas tonight. We do Xmas on Xmas Eve because Mum Pham and Dad Pham learned how to Christmas in Germany. It's all a mixed bag of multi-cultural references really.

Wishing everyone a nice holiday season whatever you celebrate or don't celebrate. I hope you get a break from reality to reflect on 2016 - the good and the bad, and clear the slate for whatever comes next. Now if you'll excuse me, I've got to prep for my second day of eating for 10 hours straight. Love to all.

Overexcited aunties strike again. 🎁

A photo posted by Jade (@thephamly) on Dec 23, 2016 at 5:14pm PST

I renewed my driver's licence recently - I look same, same but different. As Dad Pham likes to remind me, it's a miracle or dumb luck that I ever got my licence because my un-coordination extends into driving. I used to be an anxious, bad driver but I've improved over the years - these days, I'm a confident, bad driver. I don't know which is worse. Kidding - I'm actually half decent at driving; it's the parking and then remembering where I parked that I remain awful at.

A lot has happened in the 5 years since I moved back to Brisbane and got a QLD licence made. I have:

• grown out my fringe
• switched jobs a lot
• failed at online dating
• a lot
• fallen in and out of love
• stopped grieving
• had my heart broken 
• twice. 

According to Little Sissy Pham, I am "older and less angry."

Since reaching my 30s, I've become a lot more zen and comfortable in my own skin. Part of it is accepting myself for who I am - a quirky, imperfect, sometimes dopey, sometimes intelligent, optimistic human being; and part of it is knowing whose opinion matters to me and not caring what the rest of the world thinks. I've also learned you can't please everyone, and if your loved ones love you back, they'll accept and support your decisions - even when you've made a terrible call. Bless the good souls in my life.

I spent too much of my 20s doing things because I felt I should be doing them, not because I wanted to. Prioritising career over family & friends - no more, partying all the time - no more,  drinking socially despite my allergy - no more, eating animal despite my guilt - no more. Losing Mum Pham when I was 27 woke me up from that life path. I felt lost in space for a year or so before I found my feet again, much more grounded than before.

There's an easy freedom in being yourself. Life doesn't weigh you down with worries about what you should or shouldn't be/want/do/have. I'm hoping this newfound sense of self will help me navigate the wacky world of dating and relating to other human beings... and I don't end up dating someone else's monogamous boyfriend again.

It's one of life's great jokes that Dad Pham can steer a rickety ship loaded with desperate refugees into open ocean, yet he can't drive a car in Australia. I'd always known my parents were Vietnam War refugees, but I only learned in recent years that Dad Pham was the one sailing the boat out to sea. I mean, he is a retired navy captain - it makes sense now that I know but it never crossed my mind until he volunteered the story. Like with all Dad facts, it was randomly and matter-of-factly dropped into the middle of a conversation about a beach trip.

Last Sunday I asked him if he was scared when he was on the boat. He answered, "No. I accepted my death before I left the shore. That's why so many people stayed behind - they couldn't face death. I knew I'd rather die at sea than live with the Viet Cong." I can't imagine being so desperate that I'd risk death for a small chance at a better life.

Soon after Dad was released from the 're-education camp,' he was approached by people who had a boat but no one to drive it. They promised him money in exchange for his help, but they and Dad knew they couldn't afford to pay him. Being a former prisoner of war, Dad and anyone he associated with would be persecuted if he stayed. He made the tough decision to leave his family and friends behind.

Dad couldn't tell many people he planned to leave because whispers of fleeing could lead to persecution or execution. He did tell the woman he was in love with. She was a secret love not even her brothers knew about. He asked her to come with him but she didn't want to leave her parents behind. They reconnected over email recently and Dad doesn't know how to use email so I was his go-between, which is the only reason I learned about her. She's now a successful chef at a Western hotel in Vietnam.

When the time came to go, Dad snuck a rickety fishing boat filled to the brim with refugees out into the ocean. He knew the busy thoroughfare in open ocean beyond Vietnam's borders where commercial ships traveled and that's where he navigated towards. They risked pirates, drowning, dehydration, starvation along the way; and when they reached their destination they risked abandonment as dozens of ships avoided the refugee boats for political, economical, social, whatever reasons. Dad always says his trip was blessed by God because of the many moments things could have gone bad but didn't. I knew kids in school who weren't so lucky - one witnessed his father's decapitation by pirates so I don't get mad that he went on to hurt me in primary school. Hurt people hurt others - it's a sad life cycle I refuse to perpetuate.

When they reached the thoroughfare, Dad Pham watched dozens of ships ignore their pleas for help. Finally, he made the men on the boat take down the cloth shades that provided some protection from the sun to reveal the people aboard the boat. His idea worked. Showing the passing ships that his boat carried mainly women and children is the reason a German commercial ship stopped to rescue them.

The photo is of Dad in Singapore where the German ship took all the refugees from Dad's boat while they waited to be processed as refugees and flown to Europe. I'll tell you about his journey from Singapore to Germany in the next episode, and how he found faith after witnessing the worst in humanity.



If you want to start from the beginning of Phamly history, read:
Part 1 - O Captain! My Captain! Dad Pham's navy days during the Vietnam War.
Part 2 - P.O.W. Viet Cong Re-education Camp Dad Pham's time as a prisoner of war.
Part 3 - Living with Viet Cong Mum Pham's experience with communism.
Part 4 - Boat People Dad Pham seeks refuge after the war.
Part 5 - Finding Faith Dad finds peace.
Part 6 - When Herr met Frau - Dad Pham meets Mum Pham.
Part 7 - Life in Germany: the early years - Dad Pham sets up life in Germany.
Part 8 - Life in Germany: the later years - Dad gets sick, Mum steps up.
Part 9 - Getting ready for Australia - Mum Pham is on a mission.
Part 10 - Coming to Australia - My first memories of Australia.
Part 11 - Live in Brisbane the first time - The story of why we left Brisbane.
Part 12 - Moving to Melbourne - First impressions.
Part 13 - Life in Melbourne - Dad Pham - The good old days.
Part 14 - The Other Phams - Our neighbours in Melbourne were Phams too.
Part 15 - Life in Melbourne - Mum Pham - Our Sunday Phamly traditions began in Melbourne.
Part 16 - Cats On A Train - Moving to Brisbane
Part 17 - Sleepwalking Scare - Moving to Brisbane continued
Part 18 - A House in Brisbane - Moving to Brisbane continued some more