KEEP IT IN THE PHAMLY

It's been so long since I've been on a date or asked anyone to go on a date or been asked by anyone to go on a date -  I forget that people have feelings and expectations and history that motivate their actions and give them personality nuances that are totally peculiar to me, yet normal for them. What are all these feelings? I don't like them - you keep them, thanks.

I know I come with baggage and quirks too. Like, right now I have zero patience with texting coming out of a long distance relationship where my boyfriend was pretty much an iPhone - I may as well have dated Siri that's how text- and tech-heavy we were. Though, Siri always answers when you call her (or him) and greets you in the morning with a weather update, breaking news and reminds me what I have on that day so she was more involved in my life than my partner by the end. I need a break from tech-based relationships with boys and software.

Instead, I've been catching up with old friends; making new friends; making eye-contact with and greeting strangers and regulars - except the neo-nazi who growled at me once and glares at me all the time and I'm pretty sure he's the one who carved the swastika in the wet concrete across the road from my house - him I don't greet. I'm also getting out of the house more - morning walks, taking dad to the lake, going to the pool, shooting hoops in the park and finally not failing my Fitbit on a daily basis. It feels good.

I think this whole not hanging out with my phone is helping me get back into blogging. I'm not using my word count on texts so my brain is able to use my words elsewhere. Also, I've gone on a major post-break-up shopping spree so I'll be wanting to share some of my fave buys in new Upgrade U posts soon because nothing says I don't want to catch feelings like mass consumerism!

Text you later.
xoxo

I'm usually not allowed to deal with the public at work - a self-enforced rule because dressing like rainbow vomit, shaved hair and head tattoos isn't quite on-brand for the day job. But every now and then during festival season, I'm forced to step out from behind the scenes - mainly because there's no one else to do what needs doing, and make a rare public appearance.

This week, I learned of a slightly distressed couple who had lost their 2x irreplaceable tickets to a very sold out Listen Out festival. Tickets are like cash y'all - hold onto them tight because once they're gone, they're gone for good! It took a few days and a little rejigging within the team, but I was able to offer them 2x VIP passes. When I called to tell him the good news, the first thing Damian asked was, "Is anyone in your team going to miss out?"  He was more concerned about others than himself. That made my day - other people's happiness is even better when they're good people.

At the end of a long week, I re-read his happy email. It made me smile. Though, now the festival's nearly over I'm going back into my hidey hole. Until next time....

(So you know, my team didn't miss out either. Everyone wins.)

Hello, sunshine. It's been a long while. I've been in hibernation post-Uncle Ho takedown, I was a pretty bummed that the only negative blog post I've ever written blew up like that. I see why media like to report bad news - people like that shit. But that's all blown over now and I can go back to not thinking much like Dad says.

I've also put my life on hold in other ways. I did the long-distance thing for over a year. We were going nowhere so that ended. Now I'm back to being a single lady.  I'm not ready to jump back into the wacky world of online dating, and I'm hoping to avoid another online dating horror story. But here's hoping there's a little sunshine, happy times and fun up ahead.

Love,
Jade

1. "jade bracelets that don't come off" - I'm not alone!
2. "how to buy potato chips" - with money?
3. "wearing his lego brick backpack" - is that you, wild style?
4. "asos porno" - okay, I shopped a lot on asos once upon a time but that seems extreme
5. "cow u" - moo me?
6. "online dating cat lady" - nailed it
7. "insult" - what did i do?
8. "milk drunk onesie"- i actually have no idea why my blog came up as a result. I hate onesies, they're so impractical for small bladders
9. "penguin gifts for adults" - because duh
10. "happy old asian lady" - yes. yes i am

I found this photo of Mum Pham (left) with her bestie (right) at school back in 1966. The duo were separated by the Vietnam War and about 10 years ago reunited when her bestie migrated to Brisbane. The reunion was glorious.

Mum would be 21 in this photo. I wore that same gold bracelet on her right wrist when I was about 20 (sadly, it died a tragic death when I got crushed at a music festival). It would be 15 years before Mum Pham would become a mother. She was pretty much carefree in 1966 and had no idea what lay ahead for her.

Mum Pham studied to become a pharmacist and finished her degree, but never received her official documents because she refused to do a year of military service. She hated learning firearms let alone what that skill was intended for. No way she'd be willing to shoot someone if it came down to that.

All her chemistry and biology studies didn't go to waste though. 13 years later when she fled to Germany with my cousins, and didn't have her 8 older siblings around to cook for her, she had to learn to cook. She was a late bloomer but, by gosh, the woman could cook. Mum Pham used to be able to taste a dish in a restaurant and recreate it at home on a Centrelink and Veterans Affairs budget. Mum could stretch a dollar in ways I still to this day can't figure out with all my access to computers, spreadsheets and calculations.

It makes me sad that Mum Pham passed away just as us kids started coming good. Or maybe her falling ill is what drove us to work harder, be better and succeed. We can afford delicious home-cooked feasts on the regular, presents for occasions and fun Phamly outings that we never could when she was alive.

This Mother's Day, The Phamly will burn incense for Mum Pham and celebrate Big Brother Pham's partner and mother of their 3 gorgeous children. By celebrate, I mean we'll feast. This year we'll be making lemongrass beef & vinegar poached beef rice paper rolls (tofu rice paper rolls for me) and eating until we are all uncomfortable in our own skin. Mum Pham would like that.

Happy Mother's Day everyone - hope you spent it with family and loved ones.

Apologies are hard. Because I don't like to be wrong, let alone admit it. Ask Little Sissy Pham - when we were kids (and into adulthood if I'm honest) I'd argue with her until she agreed I was right even though I knew I wasn't. Only when she'd admit defeat did my fat ego then apologise for being wrong. I have serious issues.

Sometimes it's too hard to apologise to someone but Apomogy makes it easy if there's something you want to get off your chest - like say, accidentally killing someone's mother...?! Apomogy is anonymous apologies expressed on pom-poms because obviously - it's called an apomogy. It's an ongong group art project about saying you're sorry with the help of the almighty pom-pom.

Dad Pham fought against the Viet Cong during the Vietnam War because they were the enemy of the Vietnam Navy (VNN). He didn't truly know Ho Chi Minh's communist regime until the VNN were defeated and he was put in a 'Reeducation Camp' (aka prison camp). It's estimated 1 million people were thrown into the prison camps without trial or process. Prison camp was revenge and punishment for being on the losing side. It was inside the prison camp where Dad Pham learned what the Viet Cong really stood for - cruelty, torture, murder and greed. He learned firsthand the hypocrisy and injustices of their policies and the corruption of the officials that carried out those policies. It's also when Dad realised he couldn't live in Vietnam under their rule if he ever got out of prison.

Usually when friends visit from interstate there's a cafe or restaurant catch-up followed by a short stroll to dessert...which is probably why Little Sissy Pham got me a Fitbit for my birthday now that I think about it. Anyhoo, I have one friend who's an exception to this rule. B is a circus trainer and roller derby athlete. She therefore eats like a teenage boy going through puberty and is constantly active. The longest time she sits still is on a plane to another part of the world where she will go mountain biking, hiking, rock climbing, kayaking and whatever else nature and sport have to offer.